What is happening and will happen with me and Mark? Please. Thank you.

BluesPreacher very good. You just described my thoughts about a certain someone. It does not make me feel better to know others have the same hurt, but thank you for putting it into words so completely and easily understood.

Peeking, as a Big Lady that posts her full length and close up pics and fully disclosed her ample size without listing the weight, I like your response. Dignity and respect is always the best place from where to speak and treat people. For yourself and their sake as well.

When I find a guy that looks older, fatter, shorter, less hair or grey hair than he had in his posted or sent pictures, I don't crap on the guy. It just makes me laugh. My most recent survey of Men on these sites is that Men are more vain and insecure than Women and will lie about their age and looks more than I had expected. It's hilarious! Oh, and from my Coworkers, Peers, Bosses, I have found that Men are bigger Gossips than Women. Now lets all have a good laugh!

Red,

Keep in touch with me if you want. Let me know what's up. No judgement. Just mutual support.

Hugs,
Donne'

Thanks all! Good luck to everyone. Let's all try to be more kind by being honest and upfront! Deal?

Thanks clk! I will check it out.

Brandi thanks for the mashed cauli recipe.

I was just checking in to see if anyone had any more ideas. I need variety. Any more suggestions anyone?

You are welcome Elaine.

Actually I was looking here because I had a similar issue as Red. Looking at her situation from the outside reminded me I know the answer that is best for me (and in this situation probably most people as well). We all find it when we are good and ready to listen to our conscious self. It also helps when you focus outside of yourself to help others. That is when I get clarity. Thanks Red, I hope this helps.

If he broke it off because the distance is too hard for him and he will not talk about how it could possibly work, then he is just plain not interested in you. You write that you will not tell him how you feel becuase "he'll just not want anything to do with me at all." Well, I ask you how can you be a friend to someone if they don't want to talk to you about issues. Friends has to work both ways, right? Otherwise is it worth it to either of you, but most espeically to you? You know the answer.

Did he break up with you after you actually met in person or before? If it's after then at least he gave it a try to see if he had physical chemistry with you in person. Then that is tough because you will then know you are rejected for something so petty as your looks or how you acted. Reality bite! If that is the case, move on fast!! Someone more compatible is out there and you need to be available when he finds you!

If it was before, then he most likely figured it out that he could not afford the burden of travel costs, assuming there is travel cost involved here. If he does not want to talk it out with you to make it work, then you also know he is not the one for you. Friends talk things out. If he can't do that then don't waste your time. Move on fast!

You could try to be friends and see if time works it out to you liking, but if he is not responsive, then you have your answer. Can you be the only one in a Friendship?

I have a similar issue, maybe for different reasons, but the bottom line is the same I think.

1. Cut your losses short.
2. Move on FAST.
3. Think about the real reasons why you were willing to settle for less. Awareness is a necessary step to success.
4. Be available to meet the best one for you.
5. Most importantly - never give up hope in finding the right love for you! My heart wishes this for all of us!


Thanks for the post. Good question that many of us have. It's hard to move on when it's time. We just have to remember we need to do it for our own good and the good of the one who is best for us. How can they find us if we are not ready for them.

Thanks Shoes!

That is exactly how I meant it. That is also exactly how I took his reply. Thanks for the response. I thought I was way off by his actions since then.

But he is doing the distancing and it sucks. I'm all for giving it time to see how he works things out for his life, being a supportive friend. But with his distancing I am at a loss on what to say or do. I think he will push me away even if I say don't leave me out of your life - I will listen to you in a supportive way. So I think I should just leave it alone and let life take care of it.

Here's another.

"The way you looked back in your 20's, with the way you think, we'd still be married today with 14 children."

Translation: You were hot then, you are not now. No way am I going to have sex or anything to do with you.

While kissing you say, I don't want to be a burden on your life. I enjoy kissing you. I enjoy your company.

He says in reply, "You would not be a burden on my life. It's just my life sucks (it truly does due to a messy divorce that has left him financially strapped) and I would not want to bring yours down."

More hugs and kisses. Then you part. He walks off thinking, "Now it's back to reality."

Translation - While I know my life sucks, I'm a glass 1/2 full guy and I deserve better than you.

I used this one recently.

You've taught me a lot about what I deserve and how not to be treated, including by you.

In a very close relationship I like daily calls or seeing each other every day if possible. If we both have hectic schedules and it's too difficult, then a daily call will suffice. It's the contact to let the other know you are thinking about them and they are important enough to you to make such an effort. That's a nice thing to do for yourself and another. Kind of like foreplay - it's exciting.

I get hit on all the time from 18 to 70 year olds! In person and on the net. It's just rediculous! I prefer closer to my age, 10 below or 5 above max. Just better odds of finding something in common to talk about. When I was 23 I dated for a little over a year, a man that was 40. It was fun and exciting for the most part. Yet, there were times I just wanted to run or scream. He wanted to lay out in the Sun all day at the beach and I wanted to go do things - even if it was just going through a museum exhibit. Thirteen years later we met again and dated very briefly. He was even more boring then. I have never been a couch potato and he was ready to settle in front of the TV after dinner or go to sleep at 8pm. Sleep, not BED! I'm not ready for a dead life yet! I know age is not the problem so much as it is attitude. If you can be in sync for most of your life with someone that is vastly out of your age group, then you are very lucky. I've seen it happen, just not for me.

Angel's got it right. Take your cue from your guy. He'll let you know what he feels comfortable with and when. He already said he is falling also. "so take it easy on him, let him come to you and just be there youll know when its the right moment!"

I'd rather be told as early as possible if there is no possiblity for a deeper relationship, let alone a friendship. I can usually figure this out. So should she in time. Just a plain,"I don't think we are a match" is enough for me.

I know what it's like to be on both sides. It could be looks, or life circumstances or anything else that makes another not a good match. Hopefully she will accept it graciously and move on.

Don't use the "let's be Friends Only" line if you are not really interested in that with her. Just end it there. You don't owe her a date and she does not owe you one either. Don't waste any more of her time or yours.

Bottom line...be upfront but keep it short and simple. No need to demean anyone. Including yourself.

Good luck.

who it was.

Just was checking to see if I had any more posts. Thank you all.