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Topic: Best way to tell someone there is no match here?
IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 09:37 AM
Guys, how would you best like to be told when there is no match? I know you don't want to be told that. But let's face it, most of the time it will be a NO Match situation until the right one happens. I prefer to be told up front if after several dates it's not a long run deal. If after the first date, I think there is no chance, then I usually thank him for his time and wish him well in his search. Are you guys okay with that? Or, do you prefer something else? My date last night showed up and was at least 15 years older than this profile and pictures. A few years apart is not a problem for me, but 10 or more years OLDER begins to really show age and health issues. Unlike his pictures, his face looked like he had a stroke. He was a gentleman in every way, and I of course appreciated that. But I really wanted to say, "Hey what's up with the lie! If I had known you were that old I would not have wasted my time and yours!" Instead, I behaved my self and just tried to keep the topics on non-important issues - like the food and travel. What can you suggests as a nice way to let him down?

irad8you Joined Tue 09/04/07 Posts: 8261	Sat 01/26/08 09:38 AM
Be honest and just say it.

ImDavid Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 1400	Sat 01/26/08 09:40 AM
Be honest and nice... no point being mean to someone unless you are defending yourself.

IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 09:45 AM
So then if I say, "I don't think we are a match. Thank you for your interest/time. Best wishes in your search." you would think that is HONEST and KIND enough?

Unknow Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 41170	Sat 01/26/08 09:46 AM
Sounds about right to me

irad8you Joined Tue 09/04/07 Posts: 8261	Sat 01/26/08 09:46 AM
That sounds good to me.

KennethP5206 Joined Wed 03/07/07 Posts: 2082	Sat 01/26/08 09:47 AM
Guys, how would you best like to be told when there is no match? I know you don't want to be told that. But let's face it, most of the time it will be a NO Match situation until the right one happens. I prefer to be told up front if after several dates it's not a long run deal. If after the first date, I think there is no chance, then I usually thank him for his time and wish him well in his search. Are you guys okay with that? Or, do you prefer something else? My date last night showed up and was at least 15 years older than this profile and pictures. A few years apart is not a problem for me, but 10 or more years OLDER begins to really show age and health issues. Unlike his pictures, his face looked like he had a stroke. He was a gentleman in every way, and I of course appreciated that. But I really wanted to say, "Hey what's up with the lie! If I had known you were that old I would not have wasted my time and yours!" Instead, I behaved my self and just tried to keep the topics on non-important issues - like the food and travel. What can you suggests as a nice way to let him down? Honesty is always the best policy. I would rather know up front

KennethP5206 Joined Wed 03/07/07 Posts: 2082	Sat 01/26/08 09:48 AM
So then if I say, "I don't think we are a match. Thank you for your interest/time. Best wishes in your search." you would think that is HONEST and KIND enough? Right on

shutterbug63 Joined Thu 04/26/07 Posts: 1219	Sat 01/26/08 09:48 AM
So then if I say, "I don't think we are a match. Thank you for your interest/time. Best wishes in your search." you would think that is HONEST and KIND enough? Sounds like a good way to say it...better than just not saying anything at all like so many do these days

Gypsy41 Joined Tue 05/15/07 Posts: 123359	Sat 01/26/08 09:49 AM
before or after dessert??

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 01/26/08 09:52 AM
So then if I say, "I don't think we are a match. Thank you for your interest/time. Best wishes in your search." you would think that is HONEST and KIND enough? I would say so. However, I have run into a few who won't let the issue go that easily. The ones who say "I think you really need to reconsider, because...." and then they give you the laundry list of why what you're looking for REALLY ISN'T what you're looking for, or what you need. With those, you may sometimes need to be a little less kind. Otherwise they never get the point.

Softtail70 Joined Mon 12/31/07 Posts: 377	Sat 01/26/08 09:53 AM
Guys, how would you best like to be told when there is no match? I know you don't want to be told that. But let's face it, most of the time it will be a NO Match situation until the right one happens. I prefer to be told up front if after several dates it's not a long run deal. If after the first date, I think there is no chance, then I usually thank him for his time and wish him well in his search. Are you guys okay with that? Or, do you prefer something else? My date last night showed up and was at least 15 years older than this profile and pictures. A few years apart is not a problem for me, but 10 or more years OLDER begins to really show age and health issues. Unlike his pictures, his face looked like he had a stroke. He was a gentleman in every way, and I of course appreciated that. But I really wanted to say, "Hey what's up with the lie! If I had known you were that old I would not have wasted my time and yours!" Instead, I behaved my self and just tried to keep the topics on non-important issues - like the food and travel. What can you suggests as a nice way to let him down? Wow Hon..I am sorry to hear you had to go through that...I'll bet that was hard for you..Goes to show...You can be whatever you want to be in cyberland...Until the moment of truth comes...I, myself think I would have walked out, and maybe given him a hand signal...with my middle finger.. flowerforyou:

IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 10:19 AM Edited by IslandPearl on Sat 01/26/08 10:29 AM


IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 10:21 AM Edited by IslandPearl on Sat 01/26/08 10:30 AM


IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 10:24 AM Edited by IslandPearl on Sat 01/26/08 10:30 AM


IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 10:26 AM
Sorry all! I'm new here to the Forums. Just figured out how to use the Quote.

IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 10:27 AM
So then if I say, "I don't think we are a match. Thank you for your interest/time. Best wishes in your search." you would think that is HONEST and KIND enough? Sounds like a good way to say it...better than just not saying anything at all like so many do these days Yes, I know I've met a few that just said such wonderful things that made me think they were really into me They said several times that they would call. Guess what? I bet you know the answer! They never did. I'd really rather hear it up front and simple. No embellishments. Kind is always good. Thanks for the post!

IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 10:27 AM
before or after dessert?? Always before dessert with me! Never dessert with those kinds of people!! That is, if we are thinking the same kind of "dessert?"

IslandPearl Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 93	Sat 01/26/08 10:28 AM Edited by IslandPearl on Sat 01/26/08 10:30 AM


ladyliz1417 Joined Wed 12/27/06 Posts: 51463	Sat 01/26/08 10:32 AM
So many fake ppl on this site and many others. Honesty is the best policy for sure.