You just did!

My advice to serious people trying to meet others on here.... Start up and/or accept conversations via mail with/from people in your preference area.... Talking has rarely killed anyone ; )  

Also... posting and replying to personally relevant forum topics, using the "Mutual Match" search function and randomly saying "hello" now and then to locals who happen to be online.

Best of luck. 

I just assumed everybody loved that show? The way you speak of it causes me to believe I may have just been fooling myself out of a deep and hidden mixture of shame & guilt for my betrayal of the Status Quo. Yet you're also saying that there's something "special" about MST3Kers, well thanks!

Technically I'm a Veteran, I unplugged from the Tell-A-Vision  quite some time ago, unfortunately some sacrifices had to be made. 

I do miss those freaky silhouettes blocking out a good portion of those mostly sub-B Sci-Fi flicks.... 

Hey! Maybe that's why I sub consciously seem to take seats behind the grotesquely tall, big-haired & hat wearing, loud, obnoxious families and groups when I go to the movies? 



 

Agreed.

So what exactly are these problems Mr Jazzy?

Specifics will help get better insights to begin resolving some of these difficulties.

How long have you been out of the scene?

And what are you doing WITH "being here"; Initiating conversations? Nudging? Flirting in threads? Matching?

Help us help you!!

OK, other than the nervousness, how did the date go, what about his other attributes? Were you physically attracted? If you could take away that incident, what was the man like overall?

Or was he nervous the entire time?


It's probably not the best idea to paint with such broad strokes, all men are obviously not nervous like that but reading between the lines a little bit here, are you trying to say that this incident caused you to believe most men really are that nervous but hide it and that this one clued you in to this hidden truth?

There are several reasons:


1) I like having intelligent and interesting conversations about life and desire stimulating, fun repartee.


2 I recently moved back to my hometown after being away for over a decade and found nobody I grew up with or knew was left and would like to make some new, real friends to share life with.

aaaa
3) It's pretty cool to be able to get to know somebody BEFORE ever meeting them and if things click and work out, there's an adventure ahead.

4) People are pretty guarded these days and no matter how much you try, for the most part it's difficult to strike up a convo with anyone these days, so many people are in such a hurry and stressed out, angry and fed up with financial struggles and the problems we're facing in this country.

5) Because I know the other people on here WANT to find people to talk, meet, flirt, etc.


It's not my goal to "Start a relationship", no need to force anything, just meeting new people and following where it naturally leads seems to be the best method. I've seen a lot of people on here who say they've been burned in their previous relationship(s). I know what that's like and I'm not in a rush to be in a new one as soon as possible, there's no pressure so it feels more comfortable and it's quite easy to weed out the rotten apples, if you know what to look for and ask the right questions.

Thats pretty much it, just "Mingling".

Just doing my best to help my fellow Man...And Wo-Man

Here are some BASIC guidelines for a first date.

Movies are generally a bad move on a first date because there is no interaction and you can't talk or even see each other. A fun, exciting or amazing Activity + Food + Drinks is a tried and true template. Memorize it, A.F.D. Activity, Food, Drinks. Usually in that order


Haircut....Check

Shower....Check

Threads....Check

Clean fingernails and deal with any other "My bad" that could reflect poorly on oneself....Check

Extra cash in case she's patristic/old fashioned/or broke herself... She might want to pay but myriad factors are involved with this one, be prepared....Check

Underwear...Che...Nope, go Commando. j/k ....Check


Pick her up.

If you don't have a car, borrow one from a family member or friend or be willing to rent. If you don't have a license, use a shuttle service, checkered cabs are a no-no. If you're flat assed broke and sans license, you might be better off as friends..... Unless there's some heavy chemistry/true love, Princess Bride stuff going on. Get creative but don't lie, many people are in dire straights these days, this type of situation will test your mettle though.... And your game.

DISCLAIMER: If you're too broke to get her there and back again, buy dinner AND/OR drinks, you might want to re-think the whole dating thing. There's always the exception to this one, but basically, they're statistical anomalies. and shouldn't be depended upon.



One should do some on the spot detective work when asking her out or whatever is needed to get an idea of what she really likes to do for fun, something she has been really hoping to do, e.g. "She's dying to see Riverdance and they just happen to be in town next week...". For all you know she could be a nut for Mini-golf, but it's best to have some idea... It's generally considered lame to simply ask in advance, "What would you like to do when we go out?", the reasons for this are somewhat clear, women seem to like the art of surprise and want you to read their minds Or at the very least have instinct and wits enough to show her a good time.


With Dinner, there are several choices:

1. Find out what she likes ahead of time and make reservations.

2. If you don't know and can't find out, make reservations @ a moderate to fine dining establishment with a good assortment of various cuisine as a fail-safe. Make sure you know where the local restaurants are. While you're out slip in some talk about food, if she's indecisive or you fail to extract the necessary intel you already have your spot. If she is craving Thai or something exotic and not on the menu you will know where to go....

3. Just make a guess on the fly. <---- Bad odds!

Then add a bit of flavor to the night with that good food and the chance to conversate.... Yeah, I know it's not a real word

Remember to listen.


By this time, if you have any perceptual skills whatsoever, you should know whether or not she is having a good time with you or thinks you're creepy or boring. Watch for those signals.

If nerves have kept you a bit tense but she is willing to continue the date, go somewhere you can have a couple of drinks but don't try to get her drunk, it's painfully obvious when you do this and if she wants to she will most likely do so of her own accord.

Don't: Belch, Fart, Spit, Drool, Text, Talk about how bad your ex was, Use cheesy lines, Eat or Talk with your mouth open, Or generally act like a pu$$y. Try not to stare at her breasts....Too much


NOW, you can let the night take you wherever it takes you


SAFETY REMINDER: Always make sure she arrives back at her door safe and sound, If she has driven you, make sure she gets into her car safe and ask her to text, email or call to let you know she made it home alright. This shows you care.


Lean in for the hug or kiss, she'll let you know which one is appropriate, there's no point in pretending, she already knows you want to kiss her. This takes a little finesse, be smooth. If for any reason you doubt your ability to make this work or already sense she is uncomfortable, let it pass and do the "head twist" to the side a split second before you begin the "lean".


Calling is generally 3-5 days, however this topic is hotly debated.

I couldn't tell you but it is likely based on world events lately.

Look at the gov'ts track record for your answer.

Katrina, BP, anyone?

I'm about as prepared as I can be.

Something you guys might want to check into...


Two of our last Earthquakes registered identical to explosions based on the analysis of seismic data.

Google is your friend.

Hint: One was near D.C.

FWIW

I know how you feel, it's kinda sad that what used to be normal is now something to get excited about and tell all your friends =) but it's so rare I perfectly understand how you feel.

Ironically I can't seem to find enough opportunities to do things like that, I love helping people in need, it's the way I was raised and totally in tune with the way I think and view life.

I got to save somebody's life once!!!

Chivalry & Good Deeds, FTW!!!

That's a joke right? =)

The homeland simply calls.

Most of my ancestors came from Ireland and Irish clans in Scotland so it's in the blood. Just about every Celtic person Ive ever spoken with has expressed a desire to visit or live in Ireland or Scotland. I just prefer Ireland because Ive always connected with the place.

That and I grew up on Irish drinking songs...

Gotta find me a Peggy Gordon

Aye, theres a thousand reasons!

To be fair, women can be confusing these days. Ive seen women yell, scream and curse out men for holding doors open for them. Ive heard women say "I can pay for myself, thank you" and things like that in a very rude tone to shocked looking men in lines....Guys can get confused these days

HOWEVER, I think what the OP was saying was there was a cheap "vibe" about the guy and the way he went about it seemed creepy and she felt uncomfortable because she isn't used to that sort of thing.

He should have just said to you "Hey, I'd like to take you out to the movies but money is tight, I will pay for the flick but how about we get some snacks and sodas and bring them in, are you comfortable with that or do you want to do something else?" Or anything along those lines. There's a way to handle these things and based on the guy and his ways, it could have been something perceived as fun, clever and frugal, but this guy sounds like he just botched the whole thing.

On the other hand, if I was flat broke and wanted to take a woman out, I would save every penny I could to make it enjoyable and if I felt I wasn't able to offer that, Id simply wait a week or two to plan the date until I had enough cash.... Money or not, liberation movement and all, women still want to feel special and appreciated and that they are worth the little bit of effort to make the date enjoyable and if its the man who invites the woman, he should consider that. If the woman invited the man, its a little different and I think thats what it basically comes down to and why the OP felt let down.

I still go by the way I was raised and base my principles around the way in which my Grandfather treated women...And to be honest I watched a lot of old movies as a kid which left an impression upon me.

Dates dont have to cost anything to be a blast but if you take your date to Black Angus and only have enough for breadsticks and water.... You guys get the point.

Im giving OP benefit of the doubt on this one

I've never seen the Pareto Principle used this way....

HEY.... I KNOW HER!!!

lmao

I think we've all been there.


I love that scene from the movie "Kingpin" where the camera pans from Woody Harrelson in the bed over to that horrid old hag of a landlady and the music begins to play..."Hello darkness, my old friend..."

Hife,

Remember that word "man" in that verse is going to be a Greek word "Anthropos" or one of its derivatives, which is "Mankind", meaning women included.

I much prefer Luke 6:45 -

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

Which shows that there are not only "evil people" out there, there are all different types of people, in fact there's a whole lot of great people scatteed all over this world of nearly 7 billion people.

Try not to let bad relationships cause you to paint every man with the same brush, it's just the pain talking.

And if you only seem to know people who are having terrible relationships, you might want to ask yourself who these people are and why this is their modus operandi....I don't know very many people who have had multiple bad relationships, it seems to be the exception not the rule and Ive known A LOT of people in my life.

And I definitely don't believe its only in the movies, where do you think the inspiration comes from?

I have had several extremely wonderful relationships that have ended on good terms, either one of us moved or simply moved on. I've only had two or three of what I would call "bad relationships", all the rest were positive and added good things to my life.

Good luck out there.

Wow, 40 years of work down the drain, and all based on your word.

What a shame for John Hutchison.

Pretty ballsy of that woman to take this guy's findings as evidence in a case with the US Court of Appeals against NIST since its a hoax.

You've talked about all YOU "could do" to fool people, create illusion etc. but do you have any proof this man has committed fraud or hoax or do you just like setting yourself up for libel charges?

First you chastise people for believing what they see on TV then expect them to believe you because....Its in writing?? Following your own logic we should discount everything you've said.

"The grass is always greener.."

Where's your go bragh?

It's been nothing but 90 degrees + all summer here in So. California, not a drop of rain except a teaser the other night when it drizzled for about 3 minutes and stayed as hot as an oven. Today it's 99 in the shade!

Tell you what, I will swap your rain for my sunshine, I've been wanting to live in Ireland for years.

Tiocfaidh ar la!

To be honest, I joined this site about 6 years ago or so, had a couple really amazing women I was talking with but got into a relationship with a local girl.... So I cancelled my account but now that I've ended that and had a good, long break I remembered this site as being pretty cool.

You need to look at it this way, yes it's a dating/mingling site but because of that there are other people talking to, flirting with anybody you might try and talk to most likely, so it's kind of competitive in that sense and with the economy the way it is, some people just aren't on here a lot.

What Im saying is, you gotta put in some work and be patient, I'm positive there are some cool people for you to bump into. Make it happen

Or did you think it would be like fish in a barrel?

It's very much a cultural thing and unfortunately I see this mainly with women when I am out in public, most men, even grizzled and angry will give you a nod or an acknowledgement at the very least.

I dont want to get into an in depth psycho/social explanation but there are a few obvious factors at play in our society.

For example, at the gym I go to, and this is a pretty mainstream, large scale establishment, all the male receptionists, trainers and salesmen are for the most part cordial but the women, and Ive watched this, very rarely smile or return greetings.

I've also noticed that some of the big businesses around here, Vons, Rite Aid, Starbucks, etc. FORCE their employees to greet people so you hear these amazingly templated, robotic greetings and salutations. They must have had lots of complaints and realized they couldn't count on their employees to think for themselves (My favorite is @ Vons, "Would you like help with that to your car??" Even when its a 6'1" 190lb man who's just bought a bag of grapes...It's hard not to laugh).

I don't take it too personal but Ive almost complained to the gym manager myself, just because it's so unprofessional and tacky.

But yeah, I see it a lot and I don't remember things being like this 10 years ago.