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Topic: child support question?
urchef27's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:33 AM
well iam going to have my first baby this december but iam not currently with the babys mom,...she says that no matter if i give child support if she wants she wont let me see baby,for some reason i dont think this is right also if iam going to pay child support dosent the baby have to have my last name?this is something new to me so i dont know what to do i mean i wana see my baby and i want for him to have my last name ,...is there any on eout there that is familier with this situation?

Twitch's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:34 AM
Sorry about this
I really think you should see a lawyer

kearbey75's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:35 AM
are you married to this woman

QwicherBytchin's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:35 AM
Paying child support has nothing to do with your rights to see the baby. Child support is just to help her cover the cost of raising it. Your bst option is to involve the courts.

bluebell's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:35 AM
urchef,
sounds like you will have to get a lawyer to help you with this because i dont think she can say you cant see the baby for no reason at all, and when the baby is born make sure you get on the birth certificate and consult a lawyer about having him have your last name. good luck to you flowerforyou

FallinAngel82's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:35 AM
in most states.. if she takes u for child support.. you can have the childs last name changed to urs.. and they will also set up some kind of visitation.. .. which means even if she doesnt want u to see the kid.. she cant stop you .. dependin on the kind of visitation they set up.. here in texas.. a mother cant refuse visitation even if childsupport hasnt been paid.. if she tries to go against the visitation order.. she can be held in contempt of court

CuriousEve's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:37 AM
All states are different but in NC child support has no bearing on if you can see your child, the two issues are seperate. It is your right as their parent to be involved in their life. You will probably need a lawyer if she is going to be difficult.

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:38 AM
A) Get an attorney
B) the child has whatever last name the mother gives it, you can fight to have your name added to the birth certificate but you'll probably need an attorney
C) child support and visitation are two separate issues. You'll have to establish paternity in order to get visitation rights. Generally speaking, not knowing the specifics of your situation, she cannot arbitrarily decide you do not get visitation with your child. However, again, you'll probably need to get an attorney to get a court order, if she refuses to willingly give you visitation.
D) Once paternity is established, you must pay child support, regardless of whether or not you have visitation. The only exception is if the court terminates your parental rights.

I would definitely consult an attorney as soon as possible.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

Suz

polypeasant's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:39 AM
There must be some advice lines like a legal hot line in your area. Family courts and judges are very fair these days to both parents. Hang in there and keep asking.

adj4u's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:43 AM

well iam going to have my first baby this december but iam not currently with the babys mom,...she says that no matter if i give child support if she wants she wont let me see baby,for some reason i dont think this is right also if iam going to pay child support dosent the baby have to have my last name?this is something new to me so i dont know what to do i mean i wana see my baby and i want for him to have my last name ,...is there any on eout there that is familier with this situation?


get as much verifiable proof of this and any other

non in the best interest of the child

activity she is promoting

yokoke's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:50 AM

well iam going to have my first baby this december but iam not currently with the babys mom,...she says that no matter if i give child support if she wants she wont let me see baby,for some reason i dont think this is right also if iam going to pay child support dosent the baby have to have my last name?this is something new to me so i dont know what to do i mean i wana see my baby and i want for him to have my last name ,...is there any on eout there that is familier with this situation?


Some great advice...this is for Iowa Guidelines....
https://childsupport.dhs.state.ia.us/welcome.asp
http://iowafathers.com/

Make sure the attorney is geared for Family Law too.

Some bad crap may go down between you two over this, but always remember what is best for your child is what route should be taken.... and pick and choose your battles...

Good Luck:smile:

wouldee's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:50 AM
your next course of action is to embrace that which is upon you and insure that it does not happen again.

We all make choices and many of them hurt like h.......


:wink:

wouldee's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:50 AM
your next course of action is to embrace that which is upon you and insure that it does not happen again.

We all make choices and many of them hurt like h.......


:wink:

madamx7316's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:53 AM

Paying child support has nothing to do with your rights to see the baby. Child support is just to help her cover the cost of raising it. Your bst option is to involve the courts.


agree...all states are different, but, you have paternal rights and i would seek legal help here

butikal's photo
Mon 11/26/07 11:56 AM
First off, she cannot demand you pay child support...the courts must do this. So you need to establish if you really are the father. In addition to the other advice given here, you might try talking to a father advocacy group (there are several across the U.S.). You must remember, just because she may be having your child does not mean she makes up all the rules...you have rights as a father also, no matter what state you live in.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Mon 11/26/07 01:46 PM
First of all, if I were you I'd make sure it was ur kid first. Then you take the b!tch to court and demand your rights as a father not be ignored.

Fajinkeeperofsecrets's photo
Mon 11/26/07 02:05 PM
WHOA

fortsmithman's photo
Mon 11/26/07 04:57 PM
Be a man and pay th child support that's for your kid. Also take your ex to court to ensure your parental rights are not violated get court ordered visitation.

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 05:24 PM
It sux to be you. Get ready now its coming in all caps.
GET A LAWYER. GET A PATERNITY TEST DONE.
Its going to be a hard road, maybe.

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 05:30 PM
If u are not married to her...she does not have to have the baby take ur last name....i agree with everyone else...take it to family courts for paternity and visitation rights...good luck!flowerforyou

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