no im busy and at work im in japan so my times differnt

he was wanting to fight for multihood of reasons for wich one with me i dunno i was starting sh!t with three or rour other people

ok so i was sightly buzzed at my peek of playing pool (so for a normal person they would have been gone a few beers and shoots ago) but my oppoents girlfiend was sexxxy i had to try and not say anything (but i was a good lil boy) the problem starts when said jack@ss wants to fight puts his face in mine but i didnt do a thing but raise an eyebrow to her and walked a way

what would you have done



for the ones wanting to know yes i had my white cowboy hat

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

I'm good at math, U+I=69

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...

Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?

Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I've ever saw.


would any of these work??? (ill ask for those of you who need them but dont have the _________ to find out)

and yes
yes, im bored

sorry your right
im stupid

guy was sunbathing in the nude on the beach. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked “What do you have under the newspaper, mister?”

“Nothing. Just a stupid bird,” the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, “I don’t know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I’m here.”

Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her “What did you do to that naked fellow?”

After a little pause, the girl replied, “To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire.”

This guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school, unfortunately he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is about 5 or 6.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his gal climb up to the top bunk.

As you might expect things start to heat up. The guy remembering that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper,”lettuce” if she wants it harder and “tomato” if she wants a new position.

“Lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato, lettuce, lettuce,” it sounds.

Then the little brother chimes in, “Hey, would you guys stop making sandwiches up there, you’re getting mayonnaise all over my face.”

you only kill what you gonna eat

are you sure you would really want that

should i get rid of the hat???

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you
The last time I saw you, I was dreaming
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
Give a rose to her and say: I wanted to show this rose how beautiful you are
Is there a rainbow here? Because you're the treasure I've been searching for
Do you have a map? (She says: No, why?) Because I keep getting lost in your eyes
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look bad
Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
I must have died and gone to Heaven, because I am seeing an angel!
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes
If you spot her waiting in a restaurant/theater/club: If he doesn't show up, I'll be right over here
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
You're so beautiful, I can't believe God didn't keep you for himself
If water were beauty you'd be an ocean

hey if you aint noticed there from my fellow red necks

im a dimond in the ruff could i suffer enough

what fun would it really be if nobody was hear

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln."
The teacher said "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny was MAD that Susie had answered the question first.
The teacher asked another question, "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King".
The teacher said, "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny was even madder than before.
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John F. Kennedy".
The teacher said, "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny was BOILING mad that he had not been able to answer to any of the questions.
Then the teacher turned her back and Johnny said, "I wish these *****es would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turned around and asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny said, BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day,she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber

sorry dont have either of them but my spelling still sucks

far far far from home........ japan

im gettin ready to leave for lunch at 1130am

yes and they are really un fair

bored at work and add about 15 hours to you time and that how early it is here