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Community > Posts By > mrheartfelt
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Topic:
has loved changed?
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I guess when I was small, I was always exposed to couples who loved each other in spite of their differences. I also know many of them stayed together not because of the children per se, but rather because of the fact they truly loved each other.
Love is changing in this day and age because people are using it to control or dehumanize someone. Life is now such a "hit and git" proposition. Everything is in a hurry and time is really needed where men and women need to sit down and really take time out and learn each other because it is essential to the health of both. The meaning of love in the dictionary as I saw it did not mean being mean or controlling. But, this the sad truth of it all. Men nowadays seem to think it is not okay to show emotion because they think that it will make them seem weak in the eyes of women or even other men. I know that I was told it was okay to do that. |
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Topic:
SHORT FUSE.....
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There is physical and mental abuse. The physical is heard bout more than the mental. The mental part is where the scars are and most are never seen. And they stay around a long time and cause folks to never really get the happiness and love they deserve. There is no reason for any of this. Me personally, I think most of this has to do with control and environment.
Is there a cure? |
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It's good to talk about this and I feel it will become more of an issue for more people because of the pressure of life nowadays. nowadays. @Slave4u Thanks for sharing this as it helps dispel the taboo around depression. @TBRich Wow, great contributions @mrheartfelt Like yours too and Peace and blessings to you too @no1phD It took guts and bravery to share what you did. Gees, I am feeling a tad guilty now about always breaking your ballbags as you are generally such a kidder. Please forgive me if I have crossed any lines in any way  You know I wish the very best for you and sending love, hugs and cuddles and snuggles your way  <-(replace the 'girly flowers' with a gift of pistachio macaroons and Irish coffee) Let me add to all of the above:- I shared elsewhere about my struggle with post natal depression (Just how many types are there?  ) I still miss my Mum who died 25 years ago. Loss and tragedies have an accumulative effect on our well-being. What helped me through it was my friends and family, medication when needed, some therapy, holidays,  quality time, learning to love and forgive myself and others, plenty of hiding under the quilt and bawling, dancing whenever and however I wanted (very liberating) watching comedies to distract myself from the miserable thoughts, some exercise, baking and candlemaking, chocolate (it actually contains ingredients to combat depression)  and last but not least, my faith because the Lord takes my burdens off me when I cast them on him. Time does heal, and the love of a good partner is valuable beyond measure. (So those of you who are happily married, treasure your partner  ) Oh and not wanting to open a further can of worms, but I read that deep rooted anger and depression are two sides of the same painful coin. In other words, people either process pain inwardly in depression or outwardly in oppression (Anger) Any thoughts or is that a separate thread?  Love to you all, and extra love to those who really need it right now I know of three, but there may be more. I like what you said about the love of a good partner and that is definitely true. People walk around with all of this anger and it never goes away because nothing is done to bring it out in the open. It is like walking around with a powder keg on you that could blow at any moment. My counselor has told me that one must get rid of all that " internal anger" in order to move on with life. I found plenty of things to do to keep me going. Now, just the love of a good partner is something I can use(not desperate for sure). Just my take! |
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Topic:
SHORT FUSE.....
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When I see men dehumanizing and disrespecting women and hitting them!!! I could never for the life of me figured out why a man should ever be putting his hands on a woman. I hear that some women earn it, but I see other ways that this can be handled(drop the pride and walk away, etc.)
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I saw where someone posted something that a clinician said. That is all well and good. All of this information we see here is no good UNLESS the person that has it desires to seek help. That is the biggest factor in getting your life in control. It is the admission that it is out of control that makes all of the difference in the world. There was a time that all of this would not have made a difference because so little was known of it. This particular issue has gone back many years and touched many families. Peace.
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I have been diagnosed with "moderate" depression. After that, I looked it up. There is "clinical depression" which is what Robin Williams had, then the is moderate, then there is minimal. There is definitely a difference. This is nothing to play with. Back when I was little, this was not even an issue.
When I was in the military, they had a different name for this in each war. Adjustments to civilian life from military was a big bear for me. My counselor has told me to slow down, find things I love to do, and gain knowledge. For any depression help, one must admit they have it and seek help. Of course, there is the stigma that people will look at you for less than yourself because they say you are weak because you chose to seek help. It is more in the news because of the rising numbers of deaths attributed to it. People need to stop being judgemental. I see it all the time. It is a great thing that medicine has progressed enough to get a handle on treatments and help people lead better and more productive lives. Trust me when I tell you I am no clinician nor am I a doctor. I do know I have the experience to tell of it from my perspective and experience. Understanding and patience is the absolute key to befriending someone with depression. Don't pre judge them and let them be themselves. Peace! |
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Thank you Madam for your feedback.
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Topic:
mingle2
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I am fine. Welcome Grace and enjoy!
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Topic:
the teachings of mingle
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I have learned a few things: people say they are looking for certain things and when you tell them they are confident, they are not sure.
Friends can be made in the Forums if you are here long enough. People don't like the truth ,as someone else has said. This is a better site than most, as another has said. I love the moderators. They will put you in your place when you are wrong and will not tolerate bashing of anyone. Makes for a cool experience. |
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In this regard, I am thinking in an old school sense. I don't think I would because it would be very disrespectful to a woman. I have done it, but not felt very good afterwards. Especially with all of these diseases and other stuff going on. I would not want to find myself in a position where I would have to explain things. I skip that part of this!
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I am reading a book called " Living with Shyness and Anxiety" It has interesting parts and dull parts. There is even a section there about dating with shyness.
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Note here that I looked these things up because I had to do a paper. These definitions vary according to the year that the dictionary comes out. Of course, we know these terms are not used a lot according to their dictionary meanings.
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I have always thought that if people read your posts, that they would see your worth in what type of person you are. True, this is a dating site and the Forums are perhaps a way to get noticed. It is also true, as folks have said, the entries ebb and flow over time. Some people really get what the Forums are for and others never get it. It just depends on what motives people are on the sight for. Those things we will never know because each person has a different motivation, which may not be for the masses!!!
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Topic:
Your favorite art or craft
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I truly have a passion and love for Photography. I see things in a two dimensional world when a camera is in my hands. I love the satisfaction of seeing things I take pictures of elicit comments from people. Most of all, I love reading the theory behind it. Photography is from a Greek word meaning "painting with light" I do love it so!!!
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You know, I was doing some research and looked up definitions for Friendships, Relationships and Friends with benefits. Friends are two people who like each other and no sex is involved, but there is human emotion. Relationships are people who are seeking romantic love and sex is involved(is this not what many people are looking for?) Friends with benefits is unemotional, unattached and very incidental sex with no means of commitment involved. The last thing is that friends with benefits is that people don't respect one another, just sexual release. That, my friends, is very scary. Thoughts on this? I believe that knowledge is power. Peace!
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The very last place of my travels was Las Vegas with the highlight being staying at the Trump International Tower. That was the most powerful experience of all of my travels to this point. I took 35 pictures in my hotel room alone. I took a bunch of Brazilian tourists and that was where they stayed!!!!
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Topic:
What hobbies are you into?
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I love jigsaw puzzles as my mother did. They make beautiful pictures once you figure them out. I think the biggest one I have ever done was 5000 pieces. I don't have a table big enough now ,so my limit is 1500 pieces!!!
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Love is when you are there for one another no matter the age or circumstance........
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I also would not mind meeting up with Mingle friends somewhere. That was supposed to happen before, but it did not.
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Since I have spent so much time traveling, I would say the place I would like to visit most in America is Mount Rushmore. Outside of America, I would say Belgium or Holland.
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