Call the space police before he gets hungry for some feline fricasse.

Who let the Melmacian in? Call the cops!

667

Honestly, I stopped trying to build a good profile.

Instead, I began focusing on the forums. If someone wants to learn more about me, then get to know me through the forums.

Searching profiles is too much of a crap shoot given the number of inactive members, scammers, and spammers.

If more of the active members who were truly searching for someone would just be active in the forums, then Mingle might actually become a dating site again rather than just a place to socialize.

Oops....I've been neglecting this thread.

667

Cole Minor Dauter

You might give to me
Or what you might not receive
Friends we will still be

Hot enough that her neighbors called the fire department thinking the house might catch fire

A massage? Count me in!

Who's a winner?

<--- This guy

Cleaning dishes so I can finally make some dinner.

Thinking I really like KitKat's new picture.

Also thinking that it's nice to see Ana back in the forums.

I can't help but laugh. Not at you. Rather, I know that if I did that as a man, all sorts of bad would happen, the least of which being a slap in the face. LOL

However, if a woman approached me like that, I'd actually feel flattered. I've only had a one one-night-stand ever, and it was initiated by the woman. That experience led me to realize that one-night-stands don't fit me, so I never did it again....even when approached by other women. Instead, I actually just try to get to know the woman now.

So if the woman is only interested in a one-night-stand, there's a 99.9% chance that I'm not going to do it.

But if the woman is actually interested in something more than just sex, as you were in that story, someone like me would actually give her a chance to show that. Otherwise, I'm just going to lose interest. I'd probably even politely remove myself from the conversation once it became apparent that all she wanted was sex. So if she wants more than that, she better make the most of the opportunity to converse instead.

Yeah, it is. But I've done it more than once. In fact, I've done it both online and face-to-face. That's one of the reasons why I get frustrated when things don't work out. It's a major investment of time, not to mention making that woman a top priority. When someone invests that much time with me, it sends a signal that she's really really interested - that she really wants to know me, and spend time with me. But then when things suddenly change, I begin having trouble making sense of things. In the end, it leads me to believe that she is the one who's not sure what she wants.

If I were in your shoes, I would just ignore them. Not even worth firing my brain cells over, whether it's online or not.

As far as offline, from what I've seen based on your profile, you're in a tough spot. I'll admit, I've looked up where you live. It doesn't look like an area with many dating prospects. And driving to a better area appears to be very time consuming.

I can imagine how frustrating it may be for you to find a match, online or offline.

Will this do?

Hot enough that she doesn't need an umbrella when it rains

Think I'll pop in for a win or two.

Remind her that I DID make breakfast, but left it in the fridge because I had to go to work before she woke up.

I hope she at least noticed the coffee was ready....otherwise I'm gonna have a heck of a time cleaning that pot.

Maybe some of the men also aren't entirely sure or clear about what they are looking for. That happens more often than most want to admit. Sometimes that leads to avoidance of commitment or a desire to just date without becoming serious.

For me, I think I've always just wanted companionship above all else. On the downside, there are different levels of companionship. The level I want may scare some women away perhaps. I don't know. Deep down, I really am looking for someone who is my best friend, with whom I can do anything with, and whom I can talk to about anything. All without judgement. Just love, support, and occasionally good advice. My last girlfriend met those standards. I would like my next one to do so as well.

So I'm not interested in "just dating". That doesn't provide the level of companionship I've always wanted.

As I've grown older, I've found that I can fall in love with someone who provides that kind of companionship even if she does not meet some of my other standards, such as appearance, intelligence, age, etc. That means I may not feel that 'spark' right away. The spark may develop over time instead. But once it does, I'm ready for a whole new level of intimacy -- which again might scare some women away.

It has been noted that I move fast. Well, that actually needs to be placed in perspective. If I spend a ton of time talking with someone about a wide variety of topics very early on, that will cause me to feel like I've found someone who can provide a high level of companionship. So I will begin branching conversation into more personal or more intimate areas. If I encounter resistance then, it raises a red flag in my mind. Basically, I have trouble understanding how someone can carry on conversation for hour after hour, day after day, for a week or more without developing some kind of bond. My mind just doesn't comprehend how someone can remain so detached after investing that much time. That's why I become confused. So if a woman wants to move slower than that, then we shouldn't converse like that starting off. In fact, we may only want to chat for an hour or two each day, or maybe every two days.

That's actually what my last girlfriend and I did. We didn't spend 6 - 8 hours talking each day for the entire first week. We did it for the first 2 days, but then slowed down after that. After a couple weeks, we began talking on the phone rather than online. A few weeks after that, we began doing some video chats as well. We didn't have the luxury of being together in person at that time, but we still were building a relationship regardless.

Sometimes I think that's where the confusion lies though - when someone who wants friendship meets someone who wants companionship. There's a fine line between the two which can get blurred early on. Sooner or later, the truth comes out. When it does, the two are not compatible. Then there's all sorts of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

"Friends first" isn't the same thing as "companionship". They are very similar, but not the same. The former can develop into the latter, but the latter has a different goal and emotional starting point. The former retains a level of detachment while the latter seeks to find a bond early on. They aren't the same.

Maybe this is where some people go wrong. I'm pretty sure it is in my case at least.