remeber yall all can pick up on me in the jokes,,and poems community,,most of my time will be in poems this time since im a lil more relaxed these days,,,damn,,miss this site,,and all of yall here ,,Lov to all,,ps thanks for the welcome backs,,,,,

I Miss u all,,,,,,so has anyone here heard last week in the news, there was a guy that got charged for eating his kids Toes off,,when they picked him up and put him in the cop car,,he said to the Cops,he didnt know his wife was pregnant.....ok ok so its sick,,but damn if u didnt laugh....if u dont get it ,,think hard ...lmao..and for some,,dont say you dont go there cause you know your damn azz does,,lol,,,,,Love To All Here...

Sup everyone,,just coming back to the ((Joking)) and ((Poem)) writting,,and trying once more to find that Miss Right out there some where,,,I miss everyone that was and still is on my friends list....Love To All Here....Thomas aka Mr.Audio

Hey everone im back again,,in the mood to make happy happy to everyone,,,hope to hear from all that I us to talk to,,,and now I can say,,the ***** is gone,the ***** is gone,,ding dong the ***** is gone...........love to all here

damn and im part polish,,making me look bad,,lol,,lmao

letting everyone here know,,love to all,,,,,,

digging up a old one here for the new people

glad yall loving the laughs,,im coming back again ,,,,,,,love to all here

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

A man visiting a cemetery heard a second man who was kneeling at a nearby grave crying-out loudly, "Why did you have to die?!!? Why did you have to die?!!?".

The first man was so moved by the other man's obvious pain, that he walked over and lightly placed a comforting hand on the distraught man's shoulder and asked him, "Is this your wife?".

"No", replied the weeping man, "Her first husband!"

Ladies this has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a
woman alive today who won't crack up over this!

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell
Me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only
Just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around
8:45 Am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have
any

Time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort
over

Hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't
Going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw
Off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink,
And gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at
least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned
Some clothes hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in
the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing

the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked
over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in
Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised
when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this
morning, haven’t we?" I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal .. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.
After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out
from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all
my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

Never going back to that doctor again...........never

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine
years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll
fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps
in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the
scraps in his pants that night.

He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two
long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me
farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO
FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.

and No im not drinking now,,that tonights job,,,,,

lmao

its my Duff,,,lol,,hey lady hows it been going,,sorry to everyone here
and u Duff,,that I have not been on for a while,,just getting over some
bad stuff DUff,,lol,,but I hope all is well ,,and to say the least i
think I found Miss Right,,,right here on JSH................Love to all
here

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British
Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious
Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't,,BUT SURE I CAN NOW SINCE IM DRUNK.....

A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey.
He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses. The
girl behind the bar is surprised and asks: 'Can your dog perform other
tricks?'.

'But of course', the man answers, 'he can even gratify a woman'. Anxious
to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above
the bar. She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed.
The dog looks at her and does nothing, and the man then shouts to the
dog, 'OK. Just ONE more time, let me show you how it's done".

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the
large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with
names ...and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the
pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning,
Alex."

"Good morning," replied the young man -- still focused on the plaque.

"What is this?" Alex asked.

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in
the service.

"Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Alex's voice was trembling .. and barely audible ... when he
asked, "Which service? ... the 8:30 .... or the 11:00?"
Love to All Here......

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no
one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see,
while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor
lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get
him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up
there in the first place!"