Doing Porno! What else!

Well, that goes to show that those preachers are smarter then the ones
giving the $$$.

Devious too.

I saw a thing about the differences in boys to girls.

They did an experiment.

They brought in a baby girl with her mother. The mother was instructed
to play with the baby girl until the staff member gave the mother to
stop. Then at that point the mother stopped playing with the child. They
observed the girl baby was looking around and not too annoyed that the
mother was ignoring her.

Now, they did the same thing with the baby boy. At a certain time the
mother was to stop playing with him. The baby boy really got annoyed
with the fact that the mother has stopped playing with him. In fact the
baby boy cried really loud. Now this experiment was done several times
to different babes. Most of the girl babies acted the same as did the
boy babies.
Does this give you some idea as to who is more emotionally strong?

You only have to look at the Darwin Awards to really see how common
sense is really dead. But thank God that not all of us have lost our
common sense. Mr. sense maybe dead, but not forgotten.

At lest not yet. LOL

Good point though.

makes you think.

I Love them!!! especily the Francis, Susan, and Thomas ones the best.
F-en outragous!

That would be if I got a job being a Santa at the malls. LOL

OMG!!!!

I'm still in stiches!

You are right on kaminorisu.

But let us not forget that their are no Athirst in a fox hole.


That's because we are indoctrinated (brainwashed) in to this belief no
matter if you are religious or not.

Rambill.

I think I found a posible reason for the pole theory.

Image of Jesus' crucifixion may be wrong, says study

PARIS (AFP) - The image of the crucifixion, one of the most powerful
emblems of Christianity, may be quite erroneous, according to a study
which says there is no evidence to prove Jesus was crucified in this
manner.
Around the world, in churches, on the walls of Christian homes, on
crucifixes worn as pendants, in innumerable books, paintings and movies,
Jesus Christ is seen nailed to the cross by his hands and feet, with his
head upwards and arms outstretched.
But a paper published by Britain's prestigious Royal Society of Medicine
(RSM) says this image has never been substantiated in fact.
Christ could have been crucified in any one of many ways, all of which
would have affected the causes of his death, it says.
"The evidence available demonstrates that people were crucified in
different postures and affixed to crosses using a variety of means,"
said one of the authors, Piers Mitchell of Imperial College London.
"Victims were not necessarily positioned head up and nailed through the
feet from front to back, as is the imagery in Christian churches."
The authors do not express any doubt on the act of Jesus' crucifixion
itself.
But they note that the few eyewitness descriptions available today of
crucifixions in the 1st century AD show the Romans had a broad and cruel
imagination.
Their crucifixion methods probably evolved over time and depended on the
social status of the victim and on the crime he allegedly committed,
says the paper in April's issue of the RSM journal.
The cross could be erected "in any one of a range of orientations", with
the victim sometimes head-up, sometimes head-down or in different
postures.
Sometimes he was nailed to the cross by his genitals, sometimes the
hands and feet were attached to the side of the cross and not the front,
or affixed with cords rather than nails.
"If crucified head-up, the victim's weight may also have been supported
on a small seat. This was believed to prolong the time it took a man to
die," says the study, co-authored by Matthew Masien, also of Imperial
College London's medicine faculty.
Crucifixion was widely practised by the Romans to punish criminals and
rebels, but if the empire ever circulated instructions for the soldiers
who carried out the gruesome task, none has survived today.
Nor is there any detailed account of the method of Jesus' crucifixion in
the four Gospels of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) which are
believed to be near contemporary accounts of the life of Christ.
And only one piece of archaeological evidence has ever been found about
a crucifixion, mainly because crucified people were not formally buried
but left on a rubbish dump to be eaten by wild dogs and hyenas, say
Masien and Mitchell.
This case entails a young Jewish man, whose inscription on an ossuary,
found near Giv'at ha-Mivtar in Israel, suggests his name was probably
Yehonanan ben Hagkol.
The clue to his demise comes from an 11.5-centimetre (4.8-inch) iron
nail that had been hammered through one of his heels, attaching it to
the side of the cross. But there are no signs of any nail holes in the
bones of the wrist or the forearm.
Over the past 150 years, there have been at least 10 books and studies
to try to understand the physical causes of Jesus' death, and one US
attempt, in 2005, even featured a "humane re-enactment" in which
volunteers were attached to a cross in safe and temporary way, using
gloves and belts.
These explorations have yielded a wide range of hypotheses, from heart
failure and pulmonary embolism to asphyxia and shock induced by falling
blood pressure.
Excruciating pain endured over the six hours between crucifixion and
death, loss of blood, dehydration and the weight of the body on the
lungs are cited as contributing factors.
But, the study says, these efforts have all been prejudiced by the
automatic assumption, derived from religious images, that Jesus was
crucified head-up.
Given the uncertainty as to exactly how he was crucified, the answer may
only ever come if some new archaeological evidence or piece of writing
emerges from the shadows of the past, it says.

/30/2006 03:21

No I didn't! No really! I serious!
Ok Ok! I idid! But just for a moment. LOL

They Said THIS In the Church Bulletin?

Heavens to Betsy! When you're spreading God's word, it's important to
pay attention to commas and spelling and proper phrasing. If you don't,
you may end up saying something other than what you really intended. And
sometimes the result can be scandalous--or just funny as all get out.

The following are excerpts from church bulletins nationwide. Who needs
professional comedians when everyday folks are just as humorous? (Note:
You have to read this carefully to catch the funniest mistakes.)

Preach it!
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Suffer the little children
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the
church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.

Sunday School: Children will be led in sinning and Bible study.

The Power of Prayer
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much
about you.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

After the worship service...
This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from
the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at
Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow.

Announcement in a church bulletin for a national Prayer and Fasting
Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference
includes meals."

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.

Ladies, Ladies
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday at 10 a.m. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Choir Practice
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.

The rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will
sing "Break Forth Into Joy."

Which Door Do I Use?
The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please
use the back door.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Members of the Congregation
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

No Good Deed Will Go Unpunished
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.

Watch Out for Those Potlucks
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment,
and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. Prayer and medication to follow.

HOW Much Money Should I Give?
The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Who says church is boring?

Ex KBG agants out of work.

Hooo! Hooo! Man!

That's like the Catholic joke that goes like this:

A girl goes to see the priest for confession. She tells the priest that
she handjob to her boy friend. The priest tells her to say ten hail
Mary's and wash her hands in the holy Water.
She goes over to the Holy Water and see's her friend there too. She
tell's her her story about giving her boy friend a hand job and how she
has to wash her hands in the Holy Water.
Her friend said" Don't get the water too dirty. I have to gargle with
it". LOL

Oh man!

That's bad dude! LOL

Did she bob for it? LOL

Then that is a dilemma. Well, You have to make some choices hun. That's
a real though one too. I personally can't tell you what to do. I can
only offer my advice which I go by and stay single. Less complicated.
But of course you need to make your own choices. Why not consult your
Wiccan faith for guidance?

I really wish I could help ya hun, but am a lose for words.

It's just business that's all. Chill out and have an orange juice.

Then don't drive use crazy then!

As far as your boy friend then dump him and live a life of solitude.

Just think. No more cheating boy friends. How practical is that?

Well, If you rub yourself with shit then Yeah!

Hey Sushi

Maybe you can play Eva Brown? No!

Or how about Arnolds wife? LOL

Sure. Eveyone wants tom be a Kennedy don't hey? LOL

Mike your underware is showen. LOL

What the F is that? LOL