In a society that judges people on their looks, by their pocketbooks, by their social standing...all the prejudgments and biases and shallowness of society just melted away...for one moment, people opened their eyes and hearts and just stopped being so horrible...

I believe we all know how this feels especially on a dating site where we are all quickly judged by a photo. Seldom does the person take the time to respond to a message and give themselves a chance to discover there is actually much more to the person behind the photo. How many times have we passed over a perfect match just because we based our opinions on their looks? Not everyone is a model and most people aren't very photogenic. I've seen some very attractive people that just look horrible in photos.

Let this be a powerful lesson to us all never judge a book by it's cover. It's time we got such a huge wake up call to our own superficial shallowness.

Thank you Susan Boyles for showing us the errors of our ways and having the courage to break down these walls with your beautiful voice. I wish her the best of luck and regardless if she wins 'British has got talent" she's already a Mega Star forever more... :)

I might have went overboard with mine?

I don't find that very funny. He's at least met 24 more people than I ever have online.

I regret that either you're not understanding or I'm not getting my message across? I'm not saying women should approach me. I was simply pointing out that I see women approach other men but avoid me. It's as if they are passing judgement on something they know not. It's as if I'm being treated as a serial killer.

Believe me I do talk and I don't watch the woman's chest when I speak to her. I thought I made that pretty clear when I pointed out the female bartenders enjoy conversing with me. I don't think a $2 tip is worthy them wasting their time speaking with me if I was a boring, rude, unfriendly, worldly experienced individual. Now, I'll admit I don't discuss hair care products with them. I wouldn't have the slightest clue what's the best? I buy the cheapest stuff on sale at the dollar store. So, it's normally typical chit-chat, you know local stuff or what's in the news. Sometimes some sports stuff if they are a fan? But all in all I keep it simple and normal everyday small talk.

The point is the lady patrons of the establishment will not chat with me. There's something a miss here?

Believe me that thought has crossed my mind on more than one occassion? But I've really had to rule that out as it happens that way no matter where I go...

I'll chat more about this tomorrow, I need to get some rest it's been a long and dreadful night. I hope to hear some good answers, comments, suggestions in the future. I sure would like to understand this situation much better, as I can't fix what I don't know is broken...

I thank everyone for their contributions and wish you all the best.

Good night.

Well I'm sorry you lack the compassion to listen to others peoples situations. I wished I lived in such a perfect world as you where your always right and everyone else is wrong.

There isn't anyone I'm fearful of speaking with, that's not what I'm talking about. I can have the coolest shirt on and no one will say what a nice shirt you have. I've given compliments to a lady's attire only to be given the cold shoulder. I wasn't even intrested in her just thought it was a very nice outfit worthy of a compliment.

Believe me when I say I have no intention of trying to piss someone off. I'm just asking to hear my side of it and look at it from my perspective, that's all?

I know all very well about body language and I don't believe that factors into it at all. The lady bartenders could speak to whom ever they like at the bar but when ever they get some spare time they chose to chat with me. Now if I was boring, unfriendly, rude, had no humor would they waste their time? I'm certainly not tipping well enough to garner their attention...

I can understand a woman being a little too shy to approach a guy. But your not asking a guy out if you come up to the bar to get a drink? Setting near guy at the bar isn't asking a guy out either. So, why do I see other women do this with other guys but they never come around me?

I wouldn't call it cowarding in the corner, since it's more like what's the use? I've tried speaking only to have a hand thrown up in my face as if like "Only in your dreams dude, now buzz off".

I'm not really upset by this unattention it's more of a mystery than a "O' my life can't go on feeling sorry kind of thing". Just blows my mind how this can be?

I wished it were that, I really really do :(

But It's always like that, the best I can expect is to catch a good game on the TV. Well, at least the staff is a bit wiser, they at least speak to me and I'm always respectful and kind to them. I sometimes get the feeling they feel sorry for me having no one to chat with. They often give me free drinks and chat with me when they aren't so busy... I don't think they would bother talking to a jerk...

Have you ever been or felt like you was ostracized?

I only ask because I've been feeling sort of like that. I can go out to some place and it's as if no one will speak to me or even look my direction. Now I'll see other's in the place and I don't see them getting the same treatment. I watched just last night at a guy who was setting at the bar all alone watching the game and a single young lady come up and set along side of him in hopes of getting a conversation started. Which of course it did and I was pleased to see the two of them hit it off. But in that same moment I looked over to my left and there wasn't anyone setting within ten chairs of me and it remained that way until I left... Makes wonder why I'm never hit upon? or at the least given a chance to see if I'm a jerk before they pass judgment on me without having ever actually spoken to me...

As others have said don't bother trying to contest the ticket if that's the best you've got. A judge will not consider it excuse enough, it lacks bad intent or error worthy of merit... I'm a firm believer in fighting a ticket when it's a legit error and fear of taking on FHP should never factor into doing what is right...

Needless to say in most situations a ticket is avoided right there when pulled over. If you can reasonable prove your actions or lack of was necessary then 99% the time the officer will not write one.

If you're out of state it's much tuffer because they know you're not likely to show up to court and contest it. It's called easy money for the State and if two cars one with out of State plates and one with in State plates are traveling at the same rate of speed the Officer will ticket the out of state vehicle 9 times out of 10.

I have no idea as I must be in the dead sea. I can't recall the last time I actually had a date? Maybe the 90's, I think?

It's tough being alone and having no friends. I go out from time to time and pay a vist to the night clubs but no one ever speaks to me. So, I've come to reluctantly accept the fact some men are just deemed undatable and I happen to be one of those unlucky few.

Maybe for some people but not most I don't believe? I've tried them for years and never once got any results...

Well in all honsety don't you believe I've already asked those questions a hundred times myself. I was looking for something a bit more insightful an angle I've never considered before?

I figured the only way to draw such knowledge was to dive deeper than the common excuses always hashed up as we've witneesed here.

The only reason I brought up apperance is ultimately whether we like to think about it or not it has a major bearing on such things. I sadly must admit that I've actually seen women put their finger in their mouth while in my presense to signify to me they found me gross. That coming from someone who has never actually spoken to me their entire opinion was based upon looks alone. I wish I could say that was a one time instance but rather in reality the commonality. So what must be so in real life will also be conveyed and even be magnified on Dating sites...

Now that's truely too funny... I wouldn't dream of even thinking of hitting on one thise kind of gals. In fact I always purposely steered way below level. The ladies generally have better minds, stronger hearts, and a truer sense of values than those super hotties...

I haven't messaged anyone on this thread let alone this site. But I'll bet you won't see anyone defending that as the truth. It's far to much fun to attack the poster, right girls?

So, I believe that's stetching the reality of it a bit sense not a one of you can say what and how any private message would be writen... There is not a single example...

As for the physcial I really don't have an issue with that. It's an absolute in life that we will not find everyone attractive. No big deal!!!

Thanks for you honset answer but it was never my intentions to use this site to meet anyone. I quit trying that years ago as I quickly discovered these dating sites was only for the super good looking and the wealthy.

I just wanted to pose a question about dating sites and view other peoples experinces. However it seemed everyone want to jump on the band wagon of harrassing the OP. I gues that's the popular thing these days ignore the questions and concerns and attack the poster.

I really don't believe one can actually see ones personality in text as it omits so many of the finer details that come in face to face conversation. What might be seen as serious in text might actually in truth be lighthearted fun in the reality. The addition of icons doesn't bridge the gap.

I found it quiet funny to read somene post who doesn't know me speak about how I lack people skills. Evidently they are not away that i often have to speak before large crowds, negotiate details amoung oppsing sides and handle large events as an event coordinator... If I lacked people skills and had anger management problems I could hardly be called upon to do such stressful task.

Really, I'm not the least bit concerned if I ever get any messages or even a date on this site. I'd rather be alone than some push over rag doll. If you allow yourself to be disrespected how is any woman ever going to have respect for you.

Hopefully no messages from courgars...

Anything she had to say could have easily been said here in the forums just as you have done. There was no reason what so ever for her to attempt messaging me. I think you need to reread her post.
that's her exact words. She would not have known about the age restriction unless she attempted. Even if she had known then that should have been a clear sign women of her age range was not welcomed to message and to come into a forum and complain about it was unwarranted.




I never said it was wrong I just find it personally creepy. If that's what others want to do that's fine but don't think all of us are cool with it. I know I wouldn't want some 36 year old man banging my 19 year old daughter. Nor would I think My 19 year old daughter appreicate some lady old enough to be her grandmother to be sleeping with her father. You have your morals and I have mine let's leave it at that...


Believe me I took no pleasure in having to do that, I feel I gave her ample opportuinity to get the hint but she insisted upon fanning the flames. Furthermore it really wouldn't have bothered her so much had I not hit the nail right on the head. I'm sorry it had to come to that for I was willing to let it pass without insult but I'm not going to be railroaded, its far better to be considered a jerk than let people walk all over you.

Your entitled to believe whatever you like.
I wasn't looking for a bridge club or bingo night...