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if you're so smart why didn't you think of the money issues before you were married? bcause when we got married, her 2 kids lived with there dad in GA....and when they came to visit for xas, and seen how mice our house was, and how cool i was they wanted to come live with us... i encouraged that...but didnt know there own father would not send child support for them... |
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we have some mad women on her tonight fellas....to say she shouldnt come back after i 100% suported her and her 2 kids for a year, and none of them ever did without, and not to mention i was a mentor to them, and they loved me very much.....
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If you where married to a guy, for lets say just a year. you had 2 teenage kids (not his), and he had 1 2 year old(not urs)....and the realtionship was good...very good at points, but always good.... there was never any cheating, physical or mental abuse.....the guy made like $100k a year...took care of you and your kids...was super in the bed.... And truly loved you...and willing to do anything for you... lets say after about a year....because u didnt work and couldnt really get a good job due to being uneducated....and ur ex husband never sent child support for ur kids... lets say u and ur current husband, started having a few problems...ur husband started letting stress overwhelm him, mainly beause he did too much...he worked a full time job as a IT Director..(those of you who know that job know it can be very stressful), he ran a online bizz too...makin extra $$ to provide for the family....and he was trying to start anopther organization to help less fortunate poeple... lets say his stress levels got everwhelming...and you too started to fight because mainly,....he needed some help from you, and you couldnt..because getting a job and ediucation take time.... but lets say you screwe dsomthitn up finaically....put alot more streess on him...and he kinda told you to pack it up and go back to ur moms 2 hours away.....mainly because his stress levels had gotten so bad....and then a week after going back..u too was taling but had a big fight over the phone... lets say a week after that....his stress levels started to come down.....and he realized he made a huge istake tellin you to leave... all he asked was you help him, even if not contributing with $$ help him by not causding more $$$ issues.... would you take him back? or come back to him if he was genuine? and u knew was a good man and loved you very much? remember....he is a good man, ur kids love him and he loves them back alot...his child loves you and you love her very much too....and he ws successful and a great provider, and never cheated or abused you...no drug or alcohol issues, and a good all around man.... would you come back to him? and if you told him you needed time and space to think things thru...how long would it take you? and would u come back? help me ladies! Maybe, but I doubt it, once I have left, there's usually no turning back with reconsiliations. Sounds to me also that the man in this story WANTS to woman to be financially dependant, and for him to "kick her out" wanted her to see that she was dependant on him, and once he found out that she could do it on her own, he wanted her back. I say she's better off at her mom's raising her kids. Sounds like she has a bad habit of picking bad men. The first one doesn't take care of his kids and the second one is an emotional vampire, both are detrimental to her health and well being. loo...ur a joke too...she already called me asking me for $$$...she isnt doing it o her own....and come on...i made one mistake....one....and i didnt kick her completely mout...just asked her to go to her moms and get some of her stuff together mentally, and find a way to help me ..not create more and more bills.... |
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I saw your post earlier. Didn't have time to respond. Your wife needs time and space, give it to her. It will take what time it takes her, could be days, weeks or months. The only decision you need to make is how long you are willing to wait. Quite frankly, by what you wrote earlier, I wouldn't come back. No one needs that kind of paternalism, condescension or holier-than-thou attitude. You married her knowing who she was, then afterwards wanted her to change. Not fair. If you couldn't accept it, live with it and love it, you shouldn't have done it. Now she knows you'll never accept her as she is. Why would she want that kind of damage done to her and her kids? JMO are u f kidding me? I did accept her for who she was, and i never once made it an issue....until i needed her help./....u i mean come on..im takin care of her and her 2 kids by myself??? and i let my stress levels get too high and made a mistake...once...and it took me all of one week to realize it and tell her i was sorry and come back home and we would work it out.... |
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 wasn't this posted earlier now askin a womans opinion on this...thanks... 
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If you where married to a guy, for lets say just a year.
you had 2 teenage kids (not his), and he had 1 2 year old(not urs)....and the realtionship was good...very good at points, but always good.... there was never any cheating, physical or mental abuse.....the guy made like $100k a year...took care of you and your kids...was super in the bed.... And truly loved you...and willing to do anything for you... lets say after about a year....because u didnt work and couldnt really get a good job due to being uneducated....and ur ex husband never sent child support for ur kids... lets say u and ur current husband, started having a few problems...ur husband started letting stress overwhelm him, mainly beause he did too much...he worked a full time job as a IT Director..(those of you who know that job know it can be very stressful), he ran a online bizz too...makin extra $$ to provide for the family....and he was trying to start anopther organization to help less fortunate poeple... lets say his stress levels got everwhelming...and you too started to fight because mainly,....he needed some help from you, and you couldnt..because getting a job and ediucation take time.... but lets say you screwe dsomthitn up finaically....put alot more streess on him...and he kinda told you to pack it up and go back to ur moms 2 hours away.....mainly because his stress levels had gotten so bad....and then a week after going back..u too was taling but had a big fight over the phone... lets say a week after that....his stress levels started to come down.....and he realized he made a huge istake tellin you to leave... all he asked was you help him, even if not contributing with $$ help him by not causding more $$$ issues.... would you take him back? or come back to him if he was genuine? and u knew was a good man and loved you very much? remember....he is a good man, ur kids love him and he loves them back alot...his child loves you and you love her very much too....and he ws successful and a great provider, and never cheated or abused you...no drug or alcohol issues, and a good all around man.... would you come back to him? and if you told him you needed time and space to think things thru...how long would it take you? and would u come back? help me ladies! |
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I want honestly #1....caring, affectionate, great sex, and someone who will be there when times are good, and when times are bad...
someone who doesnt give up and is willing to give as well as take... |
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Topic:
SINGLE or TAKEN? - part 9
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taken but seperated
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i have no clue what they want....im seperated now...and look at me...im not perfect...but a overall good guy....and the following isnt even good enuff
---------- About me, 30 yrs old, Own a nice Waterfront Home, Work very hard and am Driven for bigger and better. I have no Drug Problems, Alcohol Problems and Imm an all around good guy. **I smoke and drink sociably.. Successful Driven No Drug or Alcohol Issues Not Controling or Abusive Family Oriented Down to Earth Humourous Fun to be Around *Also, I got some tats...lol some..But I also can do tattoo work... |
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Topic:
What should I do?
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everyone is telling me to go get her.....what about every web site dealing with relationship issues....they all tell me to give her space and time... she tells me she needs space and somwe time to thini things thru now...weve been talking, and she knows i made a mistake now, and she said she needs some time and soace...should i still go to her? is if she tells me she needs time and space?? space - I vote for space  i agree...its what she says she needs...so why should t i care enuff to give her what she needs.....and if i rush or push...i could be rushing or pushing her even further away... |
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Topic:
What should I do?
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Regardless you can talk on here till the moon turns purple until you sit and talk with her and try to work things out it will not make a difference if your marriage works or not. That is up to you and her only. Talk is cheap actions speak louder than any words could possibly do. Ohh and hitting the bars don't make things right either!!  i know....and i did that at 1st...but took me only 2 times to realize it wasnt what i needed....thanks everyone |
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Topic:
What should I do?
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now im confused.....lol...oh well, i guess it will all come to me in time....
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Topic:
What should I do?
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She is most likely the same person you married. Getting mad at her now for being the person you married is not okay. Why didn't you get premarital counseling? and to be honest...i didnt even know of a re-marital counseling service...b4 her, i never even considered marrying anyone.... |
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Topic:
What should I do?
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i guess in heat of moment....we fell in love and i didnt see alot of things at 1st.....then as time went on, and i had a 5 person familt to take care of....i started to feel the stress financially....
then we talked about counseling...but i seen that at the time, as another bill, and i felt ****...im a good guy...i dont need counseling...and when i say good guy...read my profile, ive updated it |
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Topic:
What should I do?
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but the more we keep talking, the more i see....she never really gave an effort when i needed her to......she would tell me she was home online looking for a job, or a college to go to locally...and i would find her on myspace hookin her page up./...or she would come online and chat to me half day .....**** like that
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Topic:
What should I do?
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Honestly I can't sit here and say run back to her. Regardless the situation there was and obvious problem there that needs to be addressed. Seems if she has two teenagers that need to be provided for the least she could do is get a job and help out with the providing. One does not have to have the education to find a job at times one must be willing to work first. Sounds to me that she is milking it for what it is. Harsh maybe but the truth a marriage is a two way street and either you both are going the same way together or it will not work. So looks like to me if you go back begging on your knees for her to come back ohhhh she most likely will but then the problem is still there. Then the next thing you know they will be using the excuse if you get up set they will leave and go back to mommies. It looks like to me she needs to learn to give a bit too. Now as far as going and taking the gift for her son hey that is a great thing to do. Maybe ya'll can sit and talk and straighten out a few things. But I still say she needs to learn to give in the long run. A relationship should never be all one sided. JMO thank you, and I agree.....she is a giver...just look, imagine this....a perfect woman when it came to loving, caring, affection and in the bedroom...but when it came to work, drive, respncabilities....and moti=vation to get out of bed.....she was imperfect... |
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Topic:
What should I do?
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dude i was in the same boat in my last marriage,all i can say is i gave her plenty of time to help out with the bills and she just wouldnt get off her lazy ass and get a job,needless to say, this is the main reason we got a divorce and i myself could take care of us,but nobody rides for free in my opinion,we weren't retired so yeah she could work.i would see if she would consider your suggestion and start working,if not well seems you'll become another statistic.JMO I hear ya...i agree too...but once it became an issue....she did try and get a PT job, but was really slow about stuff.....procrastinator....but u know....maybe we will bcaome another statitic....but im a fighter, and know she is a good woman....down deep...maybe its worth it to hold on...maybe not....time will tell! |
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Topic:
What should I do?
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seems like u and goof got sumthin special hittin! lol
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Topic:
What should I do?
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lol...lol....well, i feel better already....i need to go change my profile up some since i havent been on here in a while
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Topic:
What should I do?
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ohhh...thats me...im uhhh....prob 8 hours...drive??? i had a meeting in Cinn about 3 months ago...flight i think was only 3??
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