here it goes guys, I havent posted on here in a while....found someone off of POF and actually got married to them! Now we are seperated since about 2 1/2 weeks ago...heres the story...

I and my wife met off of POF...we hit it off, she was from Chesapeake Va, IM from Richmond....she moved here with me, and like 3 months latr we where getting married! I know fast...fast...

relationship was awesome..i mean awesome! Could have never asked for a better woman....

she had 2 teenage kids, both lived with there dad in GA....both ended up wanting to come live with us, which I encouraged and was all for!

Thing was, I am pretty successful, make like $98,000 a year from my full time, and run an online bizz and starting up an organization, and have a 2 year old lil girl....and still in school..12 credits from Masters....but my Wife...she had no education, no job, no car, nothing when we met...

I knew all of that and accepted her for her because I loved her and knew the woman she was on the inside.

Constantly thru the relationship, I encouraged her to further her education, ect...especially after her kids come to live with us, because she had no means of supporting them, and there dad refused to send them any child support.

After a while money started becoming an issue....even with what I make, im not rich, and 2 teenage kids, plus a toddler and a wife and myself....money started getting tight especially with the recession.

I started asking her more and more about tryin to get a PT job, or furthering her education, and she agreed and wanted to....but was very slow about things...kinda a procrasinator...byt my love never changed or her...but my stress levels where going high because of all going on....

Because I was doing so much and I felt she was doing so little, my stress levels got overwhelming...and i think i made a huge mistake....

I told her 2 1/2 weeks ago i thought she needed to move back to her moms for the rest of the school year and get herself together as far as job and education....

then we would get back together and id move closer to her family. in june 09. I acted too fast....too stressed out...and now wish i would have never done that....

we got into a huge argument a week into her being back at her moms....and since then its been screwed up...

i let my stress levels get back down and ive realized, it wasnt all her fault...i was trying to do too much and alot of my stress i blamed on her and her 2 kids...i still love her very much....and she tells me she loves me too...but she tells me she feels i abandoned her....

And she needs time and space to figure out things, cause ive told her i want to try and work it out and save our marriage....i love her very much....and miss her and the kids so much, and my lil girl loves her so much and misses her too i cans ee it..she asks for her every day!

im a huge ball of emotion, wondering what to do....i married her for who she was...and then i turned back on who i was...andlet money and stress eat at me until i pushed her away.....

she says she still loves me, but needs time and space....but im so scared ive lost her for good....someone help me...

im a man with a broken heart....wondering if i lost the only family ive ever knows...i grew up rough and have no other family....

I feel i failed her and with the world like it is now ....i should have taken a break and thought before asking her to leave.....

help me

--Broken in VA

Get in the car and go to her.

It sounds to me like you love her, so go get her

I agree!

Bring flowers, chocolates, and a lottery ticket.

Awww...go to her.


But...down the road...I highly recommend that she contact the state to make the Dad pay child support for his kids.

No words to help you but just remember, the mother and her children, no matter what the age, are a package deal and they come together. Good luck to you.

everyone is telling me to go get her.....what about every web site dealing with relationship issues....they all tell me to give her space and time...

she tells me she needs space and somwe time to thini things thru now...weve been talking, and she knows i made a mistake now, and she said she needs some time and soace...should i still go to her? is if she tells me she needs time and space??

im in nmy office i tears cause i truly want to go ge ther...and pulll her close and tell her how sorry i am...but is it the right thing to do?

especially when she is tellin me she needs time and space??/

im so mind ****ed now, not knowing what to do.....

No, here.

You go there. You tell her how you feel, print up your post in a letter. You tell her you will do whatever it takes. You make sure that woman feels loved and that she knows you get it. Really get it.

Then if she wants time and space you give it to her. But she needs to know you get it.

we talked on the phone for an hour and a half yesterday....and i explained to her everythng....how i got it...and thats what she told me...she needed time and space....for now....

should i now just wait?

Go to her!

Bring expansive flowers and chocolates and just one lottery ticket!

I would say go to her so she doesn't feel like you've abandoned her. If she says she needs time and space then, then give her that. But I would make a big effort to reach out to her and show her how much you care.

I think that if you both talk it out and she agrees to help out with finances this can work.

I think that she may be a little afraid to either further her education or get a job.....low self esteem?

It's not that far of a drive, guy. This is grand gesture material needed here.

i have...i went against every web site and relationship expert at 1st...i called...emialed....sang her a song and posted it on myspace.....everything...she even got down financially...and i found out, and i setn her $$$ to help her out...cause she is at her moms with no job..no money and 2 teenage kids....

and i love them all, they are my responcability now...

and her sons bday is in a few days...and i know she cant get him anyhting...and i want to do his bday like we had planned...just not sure if i would be steppin on toes doing or sending anything

slow down,..take a breath,..

you got alot of stuff screaming in your head,..give yourself some time to sort it out and figure out what YOU really want to do.

the original problem is still there,..

don`t make any panicked decisions,..

and give yourself some credit for tryin to sort it out,..

Well, it sounds like short of calling Dr. Phil you've got your bases covered. Now the In Your Eyes, Say Anything moment, and you're set.

Honestly man, you might feel you made a mistake, but you also told her, encouraged her, to get her education going or to work PT. I don't think that is alot to ask. If she is/was trying to do these things and wasn't getting any results, then that is one thing. If she wasn't making an effort to help, then that is another thing.

You told her how you felt, and yeah you are stressed out about money. Hell, who isn't these days. But she has to see that you can't do it all. A marriage/relationship is 100/100 and she needed to help out where she could. I'm sure she is a great person if you love her that much (which I can see you do). But tough times call for doing things and doing them as fast as you can.

I want to tell you to go to her, but in all honesty, I can't. If she wants time and space, then I think you should give that to her. Not saying give up on her either, but their is a chance that if you go to her that it could make things worse. She needs to get her head straight and she needs to realize that you two are in this together. I wish you all the best man.

GO!!!!