You can believe that there is a God, but which God do you speak of?
Satan deceives many to believe he is God........

Where's the mental ward? I have an appointment!

Where's the mental ward? I have an appointment!

Well, she had one great fling and many more if she marries him.

Hope it works out for you!

Look dude,
That's your decision. If you want skinny, then be patient and wait
for skinny. Mistakes are made but only allow one mistake, then move on.
You know, females rarely admit to mistakes. However, I have been
fortunate to have been admitted to that they made mistakes. After the
fact, after the break up.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. "I made a mistake".
"Yes you did, have a nice life! I forgive you but I must move on."

I wrote this sometime in the year 2002. However, it is about the time,
while I was stationed in Qatar and I had found out a divorce was on the
way. The Army thought I was sane enough to drive around a vehicle alone
in the compound we lived with a loaded 9mm looking out for bad guys on
New Year's Day. I had been seeing a therapist over there as well. I
often ask myself why it turned out the way it did. But I know the
answer to that. It was my children.


The Urge


Feeling the circle as it presses hard into the skin

Coldness of the steel, sweating on the forehead.

Life crumbling, falling, flowing away, how did it begin?

Trembling, shaking, tears appear, shortly will I be dead?

Thoughts flowing, the beginning to the end of each and every day

Life closing in, mind pounding, exploding, complete overload.

Calling out, questions are asked if there can be another way

Thinking, remembering, the scriptures just seem like code.

Blood seeping, seeking, coating the flesh and wetting the hair

Reality? It seems, yet drifting deeper within a nightmare or
dream.

Take away the circle, begin life, live it on a gamble, bet or a
dare

Let darkness fade, replaced with a glowing light beam

Conquer the conscious, holding true to the ultimate belief

The soul traveling retreats into where it came, its very being

Walls melt away heart pounding showing its delicious relief

Death running fast away, life chasing, causing death to flee.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes
to the Father except through me."

John 14:6

Very heavy words considering that people want the Islamic faith (which
you have to deny Jesus Christ as your personal savior) and Christians to
get along. I just read where a person shared the faith of both
religions. What an oxymoron!
We all must be ready for tomorrow because tomorrow may not come. In the
end, we will chose sides, right now is the time to decide instead of
waiting.

How Does an Angel Know?

Each day she shares with me her thoughts from inside,
Everyone she mentions stuns me as my mind collides.
I wonder silently if she has studied what I desire within,
Pondering that it is reality, not a dream with a weird spin.
She tells me things as if she plucks them from my brain,
Scaring me because the similarities are oh, so insane!
As a young boy, I hoped to meet her and somehow I have,
The very Angel that has entered my life and I am so glad!
Yet, how can she know who I am so well? Is it a spell?
Or does she enjoy the same small things as I? Do tell!
Tingling sensations flow through my body, never have I felt,
Emotions emerge new in life to me, feelings that are swell.
Yes, walls are up from past experiences that is carried,
Only with time will the chisel chip away the barricade.
With me, it is falling as the Berlin Wall fell oh, so quickly,
Who has she talked to about me or are we alike so thickly?
Smiles, laughter, listening, learning, knowing this is true,
Love, is this how it really feels? It must, I never feel blue!
Her beauty, inside and outside, is incredible so sweet,
She has me dancing in circles, doing a two step with my feet.
This Angel is honestly of God. He had the patience for us to meet,
If she doesn't know what I like then we love the same so many things!!!

I hope a short story is okay in here. I originally wrote this with a
paper and pen back when I was a senior in high school after the first
love of my life broke up with me. In the early 1990's, when I was a
member of a BBS (Bulletin Board Service) in Lakewood, WA, I wrote the
second version to this story. Only the words changed but the thoughts
stayed the same. I lost that version forever forgetting to save it to
my hard drive. Since I no longer have either version, I wrote a third
version recently. In the beginning (1976), it was longer. But this
version I tried to keep short without drawing it out too much. I truly
hope you enjoy..........

Her Autumn Dream

She took a deep breath and sighed heavily. What a glorious day it had
been with her family visiting. Now, in the late afternoon shadows of the
warm autumn day, she sat on her porch swing admiring the beauty that
surrounded her. The colorful leaves floated to the ground as a soft
breeze rustled within the trees. She was thankful she had led a good
life as she embraced the quiet sounds of nature. But here she was, once
again, as she had time and time before, reminiscing about the young man
she loved so much over a couple of summers in her teenaged years from
many decades gone by. She asked herself why she hadn’t looked him up
after those wonderful two summers. As her mind drifted back, the soft
sounds of the birds, the nice warm breeze and the rustling of the trees
caused her to slip into semi-consciousness. She remembered his tender
soft kiss against her lips and the innocence in which the two of them
enjoyed. The love she shared with the young man from a time long past
still held firm in her heart. She often wondered what life would have
been like if she had spent it with her true love. She imagined he was
with her now on the porch swing, just the two of them, holding hands,
sharing intimate thoughts and building a future together. Her breasts
began to rise rapidly up and down as her breathing increased from
remembering how gentle, yet masculine he had been so long ago. Her hands
reached out and touched his muscular chest. She could feel his heart
beat with hers as only as if it were yesterday. Why did she let him go,
she caught herself whispering. How she regretted it through her life
even though it wound up pleasant. She could see his love for her
twinkle in his deep, dark eyes and the glow he had for her from his
sweet young innocent smile. As another brisk breeze flowed through her
graying hair, she fell into a light nap. Her dream took her back to a
time never forgotten. She saw him lift her up, spinning her in the
grassy meadow. His sweet beads of sweat covered his thick, dark eye
brows. She felt his strong hands on her waist as his inner love pierced
through her sparkling eyes. He brought her down softly and she felt his
electrifying kiss flow through her trembling body. She wanted to be with
him forever so they could experience life’s wonderful ups and downs as
lovers and soul mates. She felt his touch as his magic fingers danced
over her shoulders. His tongue nibbled gently on her soft earlobe that
caused her to shake with inner desire for his love. They tumbled down
together, rolling on the soft field of grassy earth. She could feel her
soft breasts push into his large chest as his thick arms pulled her into
his young chiseled body. Their tongues intertwined together as their
saliva mixed lovingly into a single fluid of their souls. Their bodies
became as one as their limbs and torsos melded together. Forever, she
felt, as Heaven’s radiating light formed around them. Every nerve of
their core ignited the fire raging inside their glowing spirits. Their
devotion was unconditional as it tortured the affection they held for
each other. She could feel the grass of the meadow tickle her soft skin
as they worshipped each other. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind,
she faintly heard a dog bark, bringing her to being in a dream state and
reality. Her eyes slowly opened and she saw him. She saw the young man
she had loved throughout her life. He was walking up the dusty gravel
road before her. She watched the handsome young man as his muscles
bulged with each step he took. She could see his sweat mix with the
gravel dust on his lovely young face. She felt as if she was in a dream
as he approached her porch swing. She called out his name and the young
man froze. He had heard that name many times in his life. “Excuse
me, Ma’am. My car overheated down the road and I was wondering if you
would be so kind to let me get some water.” His voice touched her
soul. It was his voice, it was him, she reasoned. He began to walk
toward her again. Finally, she realized she wasn’t dreaming. She
awakened and stared into his young dark piercing eyes. “You look just
like someone I used to know years ago. I am so sorry if I startled you
earlier.” She slowly arose and walked toward the young man. She was
enthralled with how similar he was to her young love of days past.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” He asked her caringly. He noticed her
wonderful bright smile. “Oh yes, thank you for asking. I must have
dosed off. Now, you do need some water?” She led him to her outside
water hose. The young man introduced himself. When she heard his last
name, her hand trembled. She slowly lifted her eyes and asked the young
man if she knew him, her love of years ago. The young man could see the
affection on her face as she asked him. “Yes Ma’am. That is, I mean,
that was my Grandfather. He passed shortly about 2 months ago.” The
young man saw the sorrow in her eyes and a tear form in the corner.
“You know, Ma’am, before he died, while he was in the hospital, he
sat me down one day and told me a beautiful story of someone he once
knew. He told me he still loved her very much and he thought of her
every day. You wouldn’t be who he was telling me about, would you?”
The woman swallowed as she felt the dryness in her throat. The young man
could tell that he had met the love his grandfather shared with him only
a short time ago. “Ma’am, I’m sorry if I have upset you. I do
have to share with you what he said. He told me your touch alone was
more love than he ever felt in his entire life. He said your beauty
awakened from your soul when you were together. He told me that if I
ever felt that touch or that beauty that I had to latch on to it and
keep it forever.” The young man could see the tears slipping out of
the corners of her eyes. He watched a tear drop fall. As it descended
toward the earth, the sunlight reflected a rainbow of colors before it
crashed on the grass below their feet. As the thoughts of years past
raced through her tormented mind, she felt the young man’s strong arms
wrap around her and bring her close. It felt the same as it did from
years ago when she was just a teenager. It was an innocent mind welding
loving hug. “He told me that even though he lived a good life, he
often wondered how marvelous life would have been with his true soul
mate.” She lifted up her face full of tears and whispered, “Thank
you, you are a Godsend! I will never have to wonder any more. Now, I
know!” Even though she was saddened by his death, she was also
thankful that he never stopped loving her. Their love, their dreams
late at night of each other, their bond, it never became outdated or
old. She helped the young man get the water. As they parted their ways,
she watched the young man walk into the distance until he disappeared.
He was the one that she had loved so very much throughout her life.
Softly, she whispered, “Why did I let him get away?”

Thank you for the compliments. Now, maybe someday, I can meet a True
Angel......

Time for gin and juice then let's analyze your situation

Wow, if marriage looked like that, it's time to go! Been there done
that once. Won't do it again! Well, unless a sweetest lil thing like
cleopatra came along and stole my heart. But then it would be ruff,
ruff.

I guess they don't like coloring or driving outside the lines. They are
contained, constrained and have no desire to try something different.
It's better to steer clear of those. If you want enlightened, go for the
ones without limits. My thoughts anyway. You just might find a coloring
book underneath your bed that has a page completely colored in without
regards to the picture it was supposed to show!

Wow, that's a tough one! When I was younger, I dreamed of an older
woman dating me. But hey, now, it really doesn't matter. I am one year
away from the big 5-0 so I would date an older woman at least up to 60
but I wouldn't go further than that. It would be too much like dating
my mom at that point. Same goes with younger women. As much as they
look good, I am not into dating someone that looks as young as my
daughter. Fancy that will ya!

Wow, 4 reasons? After my divorce, I took a hard look at my financial
situation. It wasn't good. But hey, it wasn't good when I was married.
I have one reason. Finances! Of course, without the good Lord's help,
it wouldn't be like that. I have donated more money now, in my life, to
charitable causes then I ever was able to when I was married and both of
us worked. Being patient, I have been able to invest, save and finally
have a credit reports/scores worth bragging about. Shopping for
shoes/purses isn't neccessary. I save a ton of money going without
undies. What a ripoff! Tight jeans fit you in just fine!

Sometimes, imposing on the woman, I do feel uncomfortable, I don't want
to put her in a situation she has to kindly remove herself from.
However, it is okay if she imposes on me. The more the merrier!

She arrived from Heaven
A true Godsend!
It's not about her beauty
But what her soul contains.
The manner in her smile
That brightens up your day.
The thought in her voice
That is so oh reassuring.
It's not her tender kiss
But her wonderous touch.
It's the radiance she projects
When you see her gliding
Through the air.
She reaches out with
Friends in need.
Her inner glow takes
you to a safe place.
It latches into your mind
As she beckons you along.
It pushes away the fear
That she may spread her
wings and disappear.
For this I am so thankful
To have met a caring soul!

Finding what is lost or losing what is found!

I can’t touch her yet she is so near
Her lovely hair enthralls me
My fingers reach out but do I dare
For if I touch her will she see?
Stopped at the crossroads of life
I must be patient so she will find
That I have through life rolled the dice
Playing gently thoughts enter my mind
It must not be games that separate us
Yet I travel here and there to find a cure
Haunting feelings that conceal a must
Walls closing in, life is it so pure?
Radiant white shining light so bright
Her lovely eyes twinkle I am so lost
Does she want me to find a cure or fight?
Asking questions in the dark it costs
One tells me that the road is close by
Another one mentions it is a puzzle indeed
And another tells me away I must fly
The last explains my hunger I should feed.
I place the pieces of life I have bought and found
On a round table made of marble and wood
Only if they fit snuggly to solve then I will not frown
Somehow I know it won’t come about or could
For the roads I’ve been on seem too narrow
To seek out the answers she holds so dear
Will the bow spit it out, a dart or arrow?
Daringly lost, I know only one that can make it clear!

Consciousness


Oh, the sound is so deafening,

The pounding won’t stop.

Do I dare let them into the

Recesses of my mind? As

They knock on the door, do

I allow the souls to enter?

It bangs away at my un-

Conscious being. Escaping,

I will, once it goes away.

Shutting out the truth, the

Honesty of the right way

To head in a desolate

World of confusion.

Is the commitment I made

To myself mean more

Than the noise inside

My being? I have been

Here before, the souls

Creep upon you to des-

Troy the very fiber you

Trust and promises made

To your own brain. Do

I dare let them enter

Into a mind so scattered?