this disscussion is so boring

no i was not somebodies ***** when i was locked up for five years

of course we can afford it anything for you my sweet

I've only had one beer officer

what do you mean there's something floating in the toilet it's not mine

of course i don't fancy you're sister

yeah yeah of course i love you
and yes of course I'll respect you in the morning

i'd post a reply if i wasn't friggin laughin so much

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room..

She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos we're going down the tracks'.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.'

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,
'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.
We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.'

She hears the little boy continue,

'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'

As the mother began to smile, the child added..........

'For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen.

another gem

oh no my cat!

now i'm gettin hot underneath my tunic

find me fresh scallops i'm all yours

mind you if it's just the two of us oysters followed by fillet steak then baked strawberries topped with vanilla sugar plenty of quality wine the well bed after that lot ha ha

consider this a trans-atlantic hit on ya

pork and clams all welcome

sign your name terrence trent darby

dedicated to my princess

ahh sorry to much vihno collapso tonight my appolies thought you were getting personal to all minglers sorry
and one to you also

don't mind being called ugly by people i know but hey bit much from a stranger, may not be brad pit but"

bit personal