Sharia-A-Hug, the user RoamingOrator said up there that your profile is already scary.

So you may be doing already what I advised here.

In that case try to feel the men out for their reading and comprehension abilities. Do you say they must be funny? Do they reply they are funny? Do they ever SOUND funny? if no, they are playing lip service.

Do you say they must look like their pictures? do they say they look like their pictures? You can't verify this until you meet them, UNLESS you get a webcam and IM them with pics to see what they actually look like. You run a big risk this way, that they will show their penises (those, at least, who have more than one), and that's gross. There does seem to be no easy answer to anything. As much as technology helps, it also makes it harder.

Do you say they must be well to do, or be well off, or be available for international travel? Do they say they are? do they bail from paying for the coffee? Avoid this disappointment by asking them to email you a scanned page of their bank statement or if they would order an Equifax or other reputable credit reporting agency to send you a transcript of their credit worthiness. Or ask them to fax or emial you a scanned image of pages of their passports, current passports, to see if they have one in the first place, and if yes, the entry and exit stamps show how often and how far they travel.

These are the safety tips I would use if I were a woman, and would send to the woman if she were to ask me.

Now. The above may sound stupid or ridiculous to you, but it will ensure that the guy won't stand you up. At this point, this is your main concern, so let's do one concern at a time. if I were to tell you the entire contents of the Book of Dating, you would stand there stunned like a Mullah who had just been recited the enitre Old Testament, end-to-end, in one reading.

Another thing. Try to get a FB. A FWB. This sounds stupid, too, but it will cut down on your tone of desparation.

A FWB does not have to be sleezy, at all, or a sleezy relationship. Not at all. In fact, they are very often the most noble and spiritually, emotionally, and physically satisfying relationships. Why? coz there is not much at stake, so the parties can afford to become honest, open, sincere, with expressing their concerns, emotions and needs, often without the fear of being judged for them.

If you want a secret, very secret FWB, get the minister of your parish, or the judge in your small town, somebody like that. Not the pub owner or the local pimp or the editor of the community paper. Somebody very married, happily, with kids, who does not want to jeopardize his existence.

He will be your buddy, your f buddy, your mentor, your support, your teacher like I and others here are now.

This is not a bad deal, and people are doing it left right and centre, they just don't talk about it, for the reason that they prefer it private.

There. Go and forth yourself. Find a man, do it with him, and then start a search to look for a partner you can call your very own.

Ah-ha!

I suggest maybe you put down your REAL and TRUE feelings of what you expect of a man and what you won't put up with.

things that are perhaps embarrassing to you, because of your fine upbringing, or things that may put you or the man you seek in a light that is not socially acceptable in your circles.

I mean, be brave and put down how tall he must be in feet and inches, how much he must weigh at his height, what kind of car he drives, what his education and lifestyle has to have been, etc.

Don't be modest and don't undersell your own needs and wants. If you don't, you will meet the men you need and want. As long as you are a nice little dame in distress, you will get the unfortunate (who will meet you, like you, and be denied of you), the scammers, and the unsuitable.

Once you become a lot more specific, you will get much fewer dates, or none even, but the ones you get, will be with men who won't disqualify themselves in the first round.

You can play the numbers game, in which case you'd better have a large capacity to drink coffee, or you can be selective, in which case you will have a lot of boring evenings at home.

You can't have both.

There is a lot of "why"-s in your text.

I suggest nobody can tell you why a person they never met did something. Rude as it is, but how do we know?

I suggest that if you really want to know why; truly, you want to learn the reason, then you do the same thing and then you will have the understanding of this behaviour right where you want it.

If you don't want to do this behaviour, which I understand that you don't, then please settle with the resigned learning that you will never learn "why".

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The ways of the Almighty are unscrutable, but the ways of men and women are darnright senseless and made with no apparent forethought.

-- rabbi Kashner, in "A Mound Cried 'Hozhannah'"

Guys and ladies, don't be nuts. You don't need to copy the entire freaking correspondence in each freaking reply. Look a this page, it's a mile long, because you easily and automatically copy the entire prev correspondence.

Please try to edit out most of the prev correspondence in new replies. This is how you do it: You highlight the prev correspondence, and hit the del key. You highlight the prev correspondance by placing the cursor on the spot you want the highlight to start, and hitting the down-up-righ-left arrows or the page-up page-up keys until you cover all that you want to highlight.

Please make sure there are as many "quote" handles as "/quote" handles, that's the only thing to look out for.

This is a slippery eel.

if men have a harder time to get access at women, BECAUSE women are independent, then men are proven that their strength and power of attraction has always lain in their superior earning power.

Which means that women never actually needed men, other than to be supported by.

Which means that romance and passion has never been a major driving force in women's lives for passion and romance... it was a tool to get to a better life.

Which means that romance and passion were simply wool over the eyes of men and of society, as they viewed man-woman relationships.

Which means that that if romance and passion happens these days, they happen because the two parties involved in it truly feel that way; the prolific occurrance of romance and passion in the 1920 to 1970 were a phalanx, a front, an insencere act of behaviour.

In conclusion, romance and passion are not being reduced, neither in importance nor in frequency, but they are becoming themselves, for what they are, they are coming of age, of an age and maturity in their roles in history when their importance is their own virtue, and not merely a valuable commodity for trade.

I think your title gives away your answer... because it's a free dating site. FREE. Anyone can join for no money down.

If you want to shut out the third world guests, join a paying dating site, I'd suggest, or else wait until we become the thirld world and the thirld world of today becomes the first world.

It's not as far into the future as you'd think. A few years, or eve a few days or so. The financial collapse of America is imminent, and nobody knows when the world wakes up to the fact that we don't make anything, can't sell anything, so our money is worth nothing.

Just you wait, and you'll be writing those Thai and Laosi people form letters on dating sites, begging them to send you a "yellow card".

Oh, and please don't forget that most poets are misunderstood. I understood your simile, maybe, correctly, maybe, but there are tons of poets nobody understands, like T.S. Elliott or like Suburghana Trumngdai, who wrote very, very beautiful poetry in a language which was spoken by a tribe that was later annihilated by the Niger Child Warriors, so nobody can understand the poems. Because there is none left in the world to know that language from Cryptic puzzles.

OP, I get you, I think.

You are making a pun, on "training a dog / man / woman", and training, as in putting down railway tracks and running a train on it.

This was a good pun, if you are new to the English language. It shows courage, a sense of feeling the language for its shortcomings, and an ability to transplant all that into a verbally described visual.

Plus, "trainign a woman by a man like railroads train the world" can mean his tongue or fingers rattling along her skin, pulling pleasure and filling her with static and electricity, all around or in straight lines, from station to station; or else it could mean a length of rough hemp rope that embraces a woman's naked, sensitive flesh and keeps her painfully immobile for the duration of the training session, like railroad tracks keep the world together and from falling apart as if by a loosely knitted net.

I like your simile. You ought to be a poet.

No sweat. Keep up the good work.

I like that joke. Never heard it before, sounds like Rodney, and also like my hero, Benny Hill.

Your problem maybe that you want to do it as if it were a party or a team-effort of two.

If you learn how to do both the loving and the being loved by yourself, then there will be no more fundamental problems in your life.

Woody Allen once said, "being bisexual doubles your chances of finding a date for Saturday night."

I say being self-sexual makes your chances be fulfilled with absolute certainty, and with no frustration ever.

Oh.HOW does one know.

You used to enjoy a man, and there was this thing he very much enjoyed with him. It could be anything, really, but it has to be soemething that you only could enjoy with him, because he was special.

So when fate makes you behold another man, who you have an urge to do that special thing with, because this new and improved other man looks like he can do the special thing with you so well, then you make a move.

Like wear miniskirts, and drop your glove as if by accident in front of him. Go as if to bend, and then make it look like you've just realized what you are wearing, and then... look at him Quixotically. If he does not respond, well, he is not the man you want.

It takes two to tango, that's the biggest tragedy and parody of life.

The gods must be crazy.

Very much so. Like when you were a little girl, and your mommy spanked you for eating all the mustard in the pantry.

You wanted to run away, and you did, and then you came home when you realized that there is no justice, love, and providence in this world even near the same as the one Mammy can give you.

Oh, to answer your first question: this is not an uptight dating site like PoF or a mayhamly hateful and hating one like DHU. We are relaxing the rules who can join, and we draw the line only at child abusers and convicted war criminals of crime against humanity. God can't join, for instance. If you don't want to beleive me, search for him on the search engine, and you'll see that you can't find Him there. We have our standards, too, you know... except they are somewhat relaxed.

We had a guy like that once here, a guy who did not make the grade of selection criteria, and he got booted out as quick as... well, he was a member here for several years before the truth was revealed to us, and then he was booted out in a flash.

Yes. A girlfriend.

Join the club, good friend. I haven't even held hends with a bird for over a decade.

maybe it's a religious thing. During the holy month of Ramadan, Jews have extra sex, and during the Catholic period of self-restraining Lent, the protestants have extra beef and mustard on their plates.

You know, people are so weird that sometimes it just does not make sense.

I would suggest you see the movie "A Serious Man", or rent it on DVD. It has all the answers to all the questions anyone can ask in his or her life. The answer this movie offers, is the same as that in the Book of Job: Makes no sense, nothing makes sense, not even the famous cat of Schroedinger in the box. A lot of people turn to the uncertainty principle to help them make sense of senslessness.

The Hasham is mum on the subject, on any subject, so religious meditation and inwardly examination of your soul won't help.

I would suggest that if things don't improve, then at end of February, 2013, go back to Chicago where you came from, and leave the dude to his autoerotic fantasies.

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Edit: no, I am not the Hasham, and I am not an angel (messenger) of the Hasham. I don't even have a soul, for crying out loud, not even one. I am therefore way more reliable than the Bible or the Quran.

If you want more guidance, turn to page 236 of Becker's "Routine exercises in problems of Quantum Mechanics", and examine Questions Sixty-seven and Sixty-eight. All I ever needed to know I learned it there.

You're way, way, way too kind.

Thank you very much!!! "flower" "blush" "smoking hot"

Sorry, Jeanniebean, your nose is too perfect. You need to run it through the meat grinder a coupla times before yours at least starts to resemble Ms. Radner's.

Yeah, you're right about that. Angie, with all her undisputed beauty, looks like her body has grown up, but her nose got stuck in one or another of her early developmental stages.

Did you know, that I am 5'4" because that was my height at 13, when my mother died? I got so stuck on her death, that my intellectual, mental, emotional and physical growths all stopped at the same time within a day of her death.

My spiritual growth did not stop, coz there was nothing to stop. I don't have a soul. This is rather curious, and secret Hungarian police physicians were trying to find out why, and the nuclearly radiating chemicals they fed me during the experiments made me grow a dong like an elephant's. It glows, too, so I may be the only man in existence who can always find the "man in the boat", even in the dark. It's like a dedicated-purpose flashlight.

I am weird, deformed, and stunted.

And then I have the nerve to complain about Angie Harmon's nose.

A lot of people tell me I look like a cross between George Clooney and Arnold Schwartzenegger.

I say to them, Arnold is not gay, I can't possibly be their offspring.

They tell me then to go and get lost myself.