No, no, your comments always have great value for my thought processes don't be sorry. I think bottom line of what I'm trying to figure out is WHY is it so much easier to forgive someone else, but so HARD to forgive self?

This is flippin awesome, thank you for posting.

I really don't have the whip in hand at the moment, Art. Fusions mushroom write made me think of this and I wanted to talk to someone who I can't email, soooo I took this route.

Thanks Bonnie. I see this same pain in the eyes of abused and abusers,
cutters,
basically anybody that can't find that self-control on switch, most often I do wish it was available at a K-Mart Blue Light special, but then again if it was an easy lesson would it be so valuable to learn?

Nice thought Davey, but that man's look is icing on the cake. You are right though in that perfection is something that's grown into and oddly enough, I don't think it's really recognized as such by the one it's seen in. Dragoness has a much better way of stating this, I think she wrote a poem about it here somewhere.

I do something "stupid"
or
I make a comment
I wish I would have kept behind my teeth.

The feelings this promotes:
A psychological mushroom cloud
like that of Nagasaki and Hiroshima
falls out billowing over my being
choking my self-esteem.

My thoughts
cut and whip into me.
Why this need to be so
excessively extreme?

I'm not looking for the blame game.
Pointing fingers at where I learned this
self talk from is NOT going to change it.

Me, myself, I
have the control
to cut that whip in pieces
before the lash falls.

Mental manipulation

Practice, practice, practice......

It feels fake, you're lying to yourself,
shush
I am not

Practice, practice,,,,,,,,,,
Walking became natural dammit why can't stopping this?



one day that wall's gonna knock me out for good

Yup, we do know that need to just "get it OUT" kinda like "out out damn spot"

Shrooms in bloom
not gentle like flowers
more like Ka-BOOM! (feel free to use the Billy Mays seller voice here)

Thanks T, oo hot nuts comin through Great, down burnin down the house is rollin through my brain ------ off to youtube

Thanks and Hi, Mr. DaveyB!

Marc and I were talking about your, "this might leave a bruise", last night and heroin came up 'cause he was explaining phrases he knew that I'd never heard before. He was reacting strictly to the title, so I read him the whole poem and then he verbalized his reaction. We do this a lot with your writes because I just don't have the experience needed to understand a lot of them, he does, so this way, I learn a lot.

Thank you! ( Sorry about taking the long way to get next door in this rambling response.)

Well done!

For some people, the thrill is the chase; the catch merely the confirmation of End Game and they think they've won. All I can do is grin thinking, "oo yeah, you're good, just wait till Karma snares your butt." Toby Keith moment: "How do ya like me NOW?"

This reminds me of the Brad Paisley and Andy Griffith song, "Waitin' On a Woman".

Purrr-fection for me was always the unabashed adoration of cats and ya never lose that even in their independent "ahhh, I'm lyin in the sun and I'm a happy cat, isn't this great!" looks they give ya. With people, the closest I ever could get was when I'd dress up for a party and people would exclaim, "Oh my God, I didn't recognize you!"

oo, I'm liken this, nicely done!

Oh thank God a typo, I was wonderin what an Ofce was Write away OctoWoman, oooo, I like-a-dat word! I'm ah gonna leave for I start spewin Hustler synonyms, oy what a word!

Well yeah, Marc has to have his midnight sleep walkin cravin killers and he just happened to request oatmeal raisin bar cookies, but the write was inspired by a lovely response Miss Sharris made in one of her threads.

You are edu-ma-cated, I know that fusion

Always baby, whatever I gotz, you gotz!

Jeepers, given the title, I thought you were going to write about hickeys.....................some day, we need to chat D4.

I agree with Jess. Plus, I found characteristics of me that I truly enjoy and didn't even realize I still have just because I felt comfortable enough to share with the wondiferous people here.