MountainWaterGirl - FYI, your new avatar is hotter than the last!

And I see that you and AthenaRose are stepping with the deep deep insight. Good.

With your two cents though, didn't many have problems with it? I won't lie, I WISH it was still like that. I am a decent guy, I make great money, a Marine most of my adult life, and I'm great with kids. Using the "old-school" method of selection I am an 8! DOH!

We (the planet) are in trouble, and I am so jealous of the naive-but-happy folks...

yes guys who biatch about women being gold diggers need to look in the mirror and make sure they are not solely seeking a woman for sexual pleasure or based on her looks alone, equally shallow....before casting the first stone.

most chicks,, the prenup can keep any assets from being distrbuted upon divorce,,,


which I never really understood, because divorce laws already take care of dividing marital property, I wouldnt sign a prenup personally,

What makes you think I'll ever be too old to date 18 year olds?

My last girlfriend is 30 years younger than myself and I'm currently talking to a couple of 18 year olds on dating sites. We'll see if anything comes from it.

I don't think I'd date a woman older than her mid 30s.

Long thread - my eyes now hurt.

Look, the Doctor will set you straight: MOST (not all - everyone's different!) men IMHO can easily separate sex and emotion. They are not bonded together as is the case with MOST women. "Most" meaning greater than 50% mind you. Maybe you fit that group, maybe you don't. Please don't flame me either way!

You may be able to catch a honey at the club/meeting spot, put a little alcohol in her to loosen the bond, and convince her by hook or by crook to share her goody-goodness with you. It won't be the same (definitely for her) than if she knew you, and you courted her the right way, and tilted her emotional side in your favor. If you perform the latter and share a special moment with THAT woman - done the latter way - the sex, no, the lovemaking will be pure magic.

Some of us men, because we're older, got cultured, were taught, whatever/etc, perform the latter and have hyper-wonderful-magical lovemaking and it IS better for all due to the emotional bond.

I'll share with you = I told my wife AND her special friend that I would have PREFERRED if they just had screwed! According to both of them, they didn't(?) They did, however, form that bond I was referring to. This was/is my extreme pain, and I am a little wiser in the process. No screw-ups for me next time...

So with all that, I think YES. Most (see earlier definition of the word) men DO think only about sex. But this it at certain times in their lives...

And on top of that, sometimes sex sex sex can lead or develop into to love! Arrrrgh - too complicated. This is why just sex CAN BE a good thing - it is fairly simple = Tab A goes into slot B, then C will come out (ha!)

Not only do women get smarter when they stay away from men, they suddenly no longer have faults. They become perfect.

Its a mystery.

We get smarter because there is no man around to do our thinking for us as they suck the life's blood out of our brains.

True story recently..

3rd date in... She asks to borrow 1000$

as far as this "gold digger" label that all we women who care about the quality of our existence have to face accusations of at some time during our eligible lives, it is just an intimidation tactic wielded to guilt trip us into keeping our expectations and requirements low from the onset...

however, those of both genders who seek partners out strictly for what they can financially gain from the other are mostly just players who like to ride thru life on their backs and the backs of others, while any actual digging consists of manual labor that these types prefer to avoid...

just my take.. okay.. I'll shut up now...

My ex once called me another guy's name when we were having sex. I said to her, "That's not my name". She asked me if she had said that and maybe she wasn't aware she had done that. Perhaps she did it just out of habit and she wasn't actually thinking about him. I don't know. When my old dog died and I got a new one my mother kept calling the new dog by the old one's name. It took me a while to stop comparing the new dog with the old one and feel a proper bond with her.

Now, women are not dogs but when I was in a relationship I don't remember thinking about other women when we were having sex. Sometimes I wished that I was with someone else and not with her but it was nobody else specific that I wanted to be with. I just felt that she wasn't the right woman for me sometimes but that wasn't really when we were having sex. The sex was always good and it was the relationship itself that I wasn't sure about.

I don't know if I think about anything apart from what I'm actually doing when I have sex. I am aware of my body and hers. I sometimes talk to the woman I'm with during sex and I listen to the noises that she makes. One time we were smoking in bed and there was a fire. She said that she could smell smoke and we didn't know where it was coming from. The house could have been burning down but I didn't want to think about that and I wanted to just keep having sex.

Women say that they don't want to just be wanted for sex or treated as a piece of meat. What if you are with somebody though and you really love having sex with them? Is that so bad? I suppose it could be if you only feel entirely happy being with her when you are making love but relationships are difficult and you might be trying to make her happy and love you by trying to satisfy her in bed. Sex isn't all that women want though. They can be having a great sex life and still not be happy. Sex isn't all that men want either. It just might be the thing that they most enjoy doing. It is like a drug. It takes our minds off our problems. It is a treat that we look forward to. I can only speak for myself but I constantly worry about the future and find it hard to just live in the moment. When I have sex though I don't want it to end. The French call the moment after orgasm "the little death".

and why would you care what your partner is thinking during sex? if i really loved this woman, i would cherish the time she did decide to spend with me. i cannot control who she likes, wants or thinks, i can only control what i like or want. thats part of a big problem with people now, they want, want, and then want more, but are never happy with what they have...

Well now, I disagree with the premise that you can't know a person's core being.
The quintessential mistake being that we don't often take the time to learn it before we move into action... like getting married od even falling in love.
Yeah, yeah, they tell you this and that. I do the same... I'm no different in that respect.
But if you rely on what others tell you... to the point that you disregard your own observations, your own intuition?
Did you bother to look deeply?

Listen... I don't wanna judge you or anyone, but your life is your own. Trust whoever you want to trust... and don't whoever you don't.

I'm just saying that none of us are free from the expectation that you infer... we all lie.

But if you start with that premise... you lie, Teditis lies, the next dude in your life is going to lie... that will be a bit more realistic, no?

As to their "core-being"... acknowledge that you're smitten by emotion... (That's a very lovely time.),then pull back a little and do the hard work of seeing if behavior matches what they profess. And if what they profess and what you're looking for is a good match.
But if you get lazy and don't look... hey, that's on you. (imho)

But to assume that your expectations are all are running the same course... seems presupmtuous. There's too much diversity these days.
What you call lying... others call a "means to an end(goal).

So it ain't lying until you state your expectations... and quit assuming theirs.

But if you have no definitions as to your own expectations... you're going to flounder. Be cork on the ocean.

We're all liars, Moutainwatergirl... the trick is to lie less, and ask your partner if the're willing to do the same.
If you're afraid to ask... stay single.

Personally; I would rather be hurt with the truth than a lie. I can get over the truth but will never get over someone lying to me as eventually; the truth will come out. Once I lose trust with a person; I will never trust them again ever.