Are they putting me through
this guantlet?
Or am i doing it to myself
subconsciously?

They say "I am your friend."
I love and respect you."
But do they have to be a certain way?

Do they have to be so calloused with
their barbed words
and their crushing opinions
and their jokes at my expense?

Then again....do I have to take it?
Take it from them, and not be so sensitive?
Take it and smile? Nod. Agree. Laugh.
When inside I am cringing?

Do they get me? They say they do.
And yet they are who they are.
Are they placating me, telling me what I want
to hear,
or are they relaying it from their perspective
from a place of counsel,
and telling me what I need to hear?

My heart knows the answer.
It doesn't want to face the hard truth.

It's NOT them.
It was never them.
It was always me.

I often feel I cannot be enough,
I often feel many will reject me
scorn me
shun me
ridicule me
laugh at me
turn their backs on me

It's happened before.
I always thought it would hapen again.

But they're still here,
asking if im okay.

So i tell them the truth
with the tears still flowing down my cheeks,
tears I cant tell are from sadness at how wrong I
had been about them,
or the fact that I'm ecstatically happy
that they genuinely care.

Their actions say they do.
so, yeah....the fault is mine.
The guilt flows.
so do the tears.

But so does the feelings of gratitude.
And i suppose that's the lesson.

we can't judge until we ask "why?"
And we can't get over ourselves,
until we listen to what we need to hear,
from those who truly care.

And if they do care,
they'll give it to us straight.
No chaser.

It's up to us to take that advice
and implement it in the best ways we can...
or not.

(A poem dedicated to everyone who has had my ear, and my back: THANK YOU.)

Write something in your profile description, explain what you are looking for, what hobbies you're into, music preferences, whatever.
Be cool, be witty, be fun and playful.

PROFILE RATING: ZERO.

Your status gets higher when you put in more effort.

Good luck.

If the chemistry is there on the first date, verbal intimacy's good. Physical intimacy can complicate things if initiated too early.
There's no right or wrong way to answer this because it's such a broad question that I think everyone would have different comfort levels and answers to give.
It depends on the individuals, really.

The question "is there anything like a sugar daddy?" kinda denotes you might be something of an oppurtunist.
Smarter men already know now to stay away from you if you want a sugar daddy, but if you're just curious about it, want to talk about it...well, it's a really short conversation to have and the subject matter really isn't all that interesting.
Had a really awkward date with a 20-something a few years back, and she was really preoccupied with finding someone to marry from a good, wealthy family. I asked her why, and her response was so stupid I nearly choked on my wine: "So he can buy me all kinds of expensive ****, and I can lounge by the pool all day."
Needless to say, the date ended with me going to a bar and chatting up someone a lot more down-to-earth and winded up getting a number.
dunno what happened to my date, but someone told me that she got what she wanted...and then got a divorce when the sugar daddy found out what kind of girl she really was.
Personally, I can't stand entitled heiress attitudes, or people who think they should own the world, or put too much emphasis on material things to the point that they believe that its all that matters.
Sugar mama's aren't in it for the love; they're in it for the materialistic opportunity.
Cue the mic drop sound!*

Touching and soulful.
I dig it.

Thanks for the advice, guys. I'm feeling a bit differently today.

Re-thinking my philosophy.
I may or may not have had two glasses of wine when I wrote what I wrote before, which kinda contributed to things...
I re-read it, and now I'm just kinda cringing at some of it.

I have faith that the right girl will FIND me, but I'm also not above rolling up my sleeves and doing the work involved in order to find her as well.
Was never my intention for the original post to come off as lazy, but my inner monologue is facepalming and going "Damn it, man! Now everybody thinks you're a lazy douche!"

I do stand by what I said about faith being rewarded, though.
And her coming to me IS still a romantic notion, one that in my mind would be a flattering fantasy, but I'm very lucky that I don't live in that world all the time, otherwise I would need very serious psychological help.
I think I might consult a therapist's advice anyway, because thinking optimistically, I guess it'd be good to get a more clinical perspective on a few things, or at least a step closer to figuring a few things out about myself.
And there's always the advice of good friends who want what's best for me, and are always ready with suggestions.

Again, thanks for the feedback, guys. But don't the original post too seriously. It's really just me, musing. Drunkenly, I might add, lol!

Take care!

"A young boy asked his father "what must I do to find the right woman?" The father answered "Do not look for the right woman. Focus on being the right man." - old world proverb

I came to a realization recently:
She's going to ask ME out.
She'll do it accepting the risk of me saying either "yes" or "no."
And yeah, I know it's less likely to happen because of the social tradition of "man has to ask woman out first."
Don't you think she'll know THAT, too?
If she's brave enough, she won't care about that at all.
And just because something is less likely to happen, doesn't mean it can't, or won't happen.
This kind of woman does exist.
I'm not worried about finding her. But when I do, I'll hold onto her long enough to show her how grateful I am that she had the courage to ask.
After all, isn't that what faith is?
And doesn't faith deserve to be rewarded with all the love a good man can give back?

Not to be insulting, but....is this to imply that you have one, or want one, or got one wrapped around your.....whatever?

I mean, it's not an odd thing to see a younger woman attached to an older man mainly because they love eachother and have developed what can be construed as a real relationship of mutual trust and understanding.

If he's the sugar daddy to a gold-digging oppurtunist however...it's not exactly the kind of thing that most people would label "realistic."
More like limiting. Finite. Probably a little sleazy in some circles even.

No disrespect meant, I'm just trying to get an understanding here.

And by the way, sorry for the misleading title.
Probably should read "Why you should'nt post your e-mail adress in your profile details."

Clarification rocks!

I've been on Mingle2 for a while now. No this isn't a rant on how I can't find attention or women, or anything like that. I know they're here, I've talked and laughed and spoken with them (especially in the forums).
No this post is about advice I'd love to give the younger and more inexperienced dating site users.
Well, the ones with working brains, anyway.
Are you ready?

STOP GIVING OUT YOUR PERSONAL INFO ON YOUR PROFILE.

1.You see, there's this thing called privacy. It's a thing that everyone has a right to. If you post your e-mail info on your profile or in the forums, or anywhere else, not only does that make you look AMAZINGLY DESPERATE for attention, it's AMAZINGLY RISKY AND POSSIBLY DANGEROUS.

2. do you really WANT every pervy guy or girl with any excuse whatsoever to flood your inbox with realy disgusting messages or images, or voicemails or god knows what else they can think of to really SKEEVE THE HELL OUT OF YOU? Like so much so that you have to edit your profile and take off your personal info? Because I guarantee you, IT'S HAPPENED. IT HAPPENS.

3. How's your self-worth these days? do you think of yourself as someone smart, intelligent, wise and classy? I'd like to think so. We'd all like to think so.
Oh, you put your e-mail adress up there for everyone to see? Well, thats gonna attract attention. But you better be prepared for loads of the wrong attention, because now that its there for all the world to see, they can copy it, paste it, hand it out to their friends, and their friends friends, and they're mutual acquaintances friends, and the local dogcatcher, and the mailperson, and your parents, and your grandparents, and ... you see where this is going right?

Now, I'm not saying its' gonna happen jsut like this. But i think a lot of smart people would agree with me that IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO PUT YOUR CONTACT INFO IN YOUR PROFILE.


save yourself the hassle, the embarassment, and the possible reproductive organ pics that some rando will probably want to place in your message board (or worse, stalk you like a creep until you get a restraining order, barb wire around your property, a shotgun, a keep out sign and a vicious guard dog and a firewall tight e-mail adress).

If you've read all this and taken anything I've typed to heart, feel free to comment below, and I appreciate your feedback.

However, if you've read all this and have still not goten the point, here is what I have to say:

May you live in interesting times...you'll probably be living in VERY interesting times because you done brought it on yourself.
What's that? Oh, you're being stalked by a murdering psychopath? Now how'd that happen?
Ohhhhhh right, you were desperate to find someone quick so you put private info out publicly and now you need the lawyer, and the barb wire fence around your property and the vicious guard dog and the restraining order, etc, etc, etc.

DONT PUT YOUR PERSONAL E_MAIL ADRESS ON YOUR PROFILE, IT'S JUST SOMETHING STUPID PEOPLE DO.
BE SAFE AND TAKE CARE, ALL.

I'm straight, so thats gonna be a no for me, but I'd have a beer with him and maybe operate as a wingman? I guess?

Bittersweet kinda day, so....here's a bitter song.
Artist: Daughter
Title: Winter

Drifting apart like two sheets of ice, my love
Frozen hearts growing colder with time
There's no heat from our mouths
Please take me back to my rich youth
And we were in flames, I needed I needed you
To run through my veins, like disease
And now we are strange, strangers
It's different now
Gray faced
Eyes burnt out
Flames are gone
Gloves are on
I have a feeling
Love's gone back
Went to the cinema, losing our minds
With comic fever, shutting confined spaces
Lost in the dark, my heart taken
Resting on your heart
And we were in flames, I needed I needed you
To run through my veins, like disease
And now we are strange, strangers
Wait for
Me to
Degrade before
You go
Caring
Pray for
Waste of
Daylight
Speaks when
Sun burns keeping
Undeveloped
Out of revenge
And degrading
My youth and stained on our sheets
It's on a piece of me
It's on a piece of me
Winter comes
Winter crush all
I've heard things that
I once had

:(

right, ok.

I'd really appreciate it if someone checked my profile and gave a testimonial here and there.

I know I haven't befriended too many of you, but as long as you're genuine, you'll always be on good terms with me.

Thanks in advance if you can help.

And take care out there, Minglers and friends!

I think I will copyright it, because I have a lot of people on sites like this one reading but not saying a word...which either means it wasn't that good in their opinion....or they might be up to something....or not..dunno for sure, but I'll probably never know.
Thanks, Sitka!

Dont you make me blush.....don't you make me--


......DAMN IT!

Rain droplets stab and explode against
the window pane in relentless sheets
of unforgiving mercilessness.

Light crackles of lightning in the night sky,
and a low rumble of thunder
the gray skies outside match my mood.

I rise and close the blinds
curtains come down,
house is bathed in darkness
save for the candle I've just lit.

I carry the candle over to the dining room table,
sitting in the chair.
It's silent, save for the pattering of rain
on every surface outside.

It was only one year ago.
One year ago when we were sitting
at this table of mahogany and oak.
One year ago when you smiled a smile
that I cant forget, and never will.

One year ago when your laughter was the music of my life,
the start of the soundtrack to my hapiness,
when your touch made me feel alive,
when being in your arms made me feel
what it was like to know and feel,
to truly feel what tangible love
felt like.

My eyes a re blinking back tears,
and my heart is beginning to break.
I put my head in my hands and let it out,
the tears streaming down my face.

It was also a year ago today
that the local police came to my door.
A year since everything blurred my vision
when they looked at me with such sympathy in their eyes,
being the ones that had to tell me.

A year since upon hearing them, my knees gave way,
and I was feeling the absolute shock.
a year since I got so deep into depression that
I nearly drank myself to death.

Somehow I found a strength inside of me to go on,
the pain doesn't get any less,
but I deal with it better now.
At this moment, I am failing, as I slump in the chair.
Through a shaky breath, I utter three words to the darkness.
"Be here .... now."

I blink, and suddenly, I'm far away.
Far from the house, far from the sadness, far from my pain.
The pains been replaced with a vision.
The sky is clear and blue, dotted with a few fluffy clouds.
I'm laying in a filed of green, and i sit upright, looking around.
I ask to the landscape Where Am I?
A voice answers.
It's a voice i never thought I would hear again.
Does it matter? you say.
I turn and you are there.
I squeeze you tightly, never wanting to let go
of you ever again.

We walk through the greenery together, hand in hand.
You tell me something that I would hope you never say.
I'm killing you. You need to let go, sweetheart.
I tell you that I don't know if i can.
You take my hands and whisper something to me.

Something that I know I used to whisper to you.
Memories of you being sad, angry or upset come
rushing back to my synapses, and I would whisper
to you three words. Three words that snapped you
right out of any bad mood you were in.

We embrace eachother for what seems like forever,
we kiss eachother's lips for a long time.
And abruptly, it just....ends.

I snap awake, gasping for breath!
I calm down and my eyes turn toward the window.
The storm is passed I notice as i open the curtains.
The candle's been burned to the quick, snuffed and done.

But there's something else on the table I hadn't noticed before.
A simple band made of gold.
Your wedding ring.
And on the inside of that ring, the three words.
I pick up the ring and read them aloud, with affection and conviction and strength.
Love. Every. Day.

Thank you, wife and beloved, always.
I promise I will. In loving remembrance of all you were.
And all you still are.

It's then that I hear a familiar voice in the air,
but very faint, barely audible.
Thank you husband.

(comments encouraged and appreciated. Thanks for reading!

JURASSIC WORLD.
Better than I expected, definitely a crowd pleaser, if a little predictable.

Neon fascination abides and shines on all sides
of this metro megalopolis,
the sights and sounds heightening and
intensifying,
but all they are to her at this moment
are another thing to curse
as she made her way home,
tightening her wool peacoat around her
lithe athletic and skinny frame,
her pace quickening.

How dare they! is all she can think
a moment of triumph short lived as the
other girl she'd always been nice to
always gave tips to,
took a spot that was rightfully hers,
all her hard work for nothing.

Hours of painstaking, jumps, lunges,
squats, holds, feet burning,
toes literally on fire, ankles feeling
like they would give way so many times.
But they didn't.
The scars made her physically stronger,
but at this moment, on her way home,
she couldn't stop her hands from clenching,
and then unclenching.
She needed the warmth of her apartment.
She needed to cuddle with her puppy.
a hot bath, some chocolate,
...and him, if he was home.

The door to her place slammed shut, and she
slumped onto the couch
in a heap, her tiny beagle puppy leaping to
lay beside her.
She smiled briefly as he licked her hands.
she flicked on the tv, crossing her arms as she saw
the backstabber.
The schemer.
The liar.
She imagined with a little bit of glee, how it would feel to
push her off the roof of the auditorium, then shook her head free of such selfish thoughts.
Worry not, be strong, her lover would say.
She did not feel so strong at this moment.
She hugged her puppy as he laid in her arms chewing his toy,
and her eyes welled up.

Minutes later, her lover came through the door,
and her head picked up as their puppy bounded off
the couch to run to his legs, eagerly wagging his tail.
He closed the door took off his coat, and sat beside
his lady, the dancer.
They talked.
She vented.
He let her, keeping a steady hand on her leg the other
on her shoulder as she began to get animated about her
"stupid revenge fantasies,"
and then he smiled and chuckled
she didn't stand to look very appealing in prison
orange.

She smiled for the first time in an hour, and she couldn't
help throwing her arms around him, and her tears were
a bit more happy this time.
In all the emotional commotion she had realized she hadn't
taken her boots off, so he took them off for her.
He went to the bathroom and started the water
in the tub for her.
She needed a soak, but first he kneeled in
front of her and massaged her tired, worn, and
arthritic feet, kissing her wounds gently.
He grinned and lifted her in his arms, admonishing
that she wont be using her feet for a few more minutes,
bringing her to the bathroom as she lay hear head on his
shoulder, sighing contentedly.

As she washed her cares away alone in the bathtub,
he watched the game with the beagle pup, rubbing his
belly as his favorite team scored.
She sighed.
She may not have made prima ballerina tonight...
...but as she looked on "her boys" enjoying the night
on the sofa from the comfort of the open door of the
tub she soaked in, bathed in the warmth of the soothing
water and bubbles surrounding her to the shoulders,
...as far as she was concerned, it was okay.
For this moment, her heart danced even more than
her tired weak body.
And all was well.
Worry not, be strong.
And she would.

My brain and heart.