Topic: My first date off Justsayhi
Queene123's photo
Sat 03/22/08 11:58 AM
aparently you have been hurt in the past and nothing is wrong letting your guard down, but your the one that didnt want to rush things, she on the other hand seem to be to selfish. having anyone whin, shows there pretty much immature. and i would say she was...

no photo
Sat 03/22/08 11:58 AM
Welcome to online dating!! This seems like a very typical scenario.

IndnPrncs's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:05 PM


(((Jill))) I'm sorry sweetie.. That bites.. flowerforyou
happens a lotohwell lol but one came back...http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/96874 check it out prncs


Oh I remember that one... I would talk to him and see what happened and see how you feel from his response and the conversation in general... Good luck sweets flowerforyou

Jill298's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:05 PM

Welcome to online dating!! This seems like a very typical scenario.
it happens frequently, I can tell u that. It really isn't your fault.

codelockbox's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:05 PM
Yes I was hurt in the past. Thats another story. And because of my past love story and and how it ended I have had my guard up for a long time.

I guess we all live and learn when it come to life and what we experience in life.

I know and understand everyone is different in there own ways. At the same time I feel sharing my story with the community on here will help me heal quicker.

To have this bottled up inside me will only hurt me longer. I thank everyone for reading my post.

Jill298's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:07 PM

Yes I was hurt in the past. Thats another story. And because of my past love story and and how it ended I have had my guard up for a long time.

I guess we all live and learn when it come to life and what we experience in life.

I know and understand everyone is different in there own ways. At the same time I feel sharing my story with the community on here will help me heal quicker.

To have this bottled up inside me will only hurt me longer. I thank everyone for reading my post.
I came here after my last break up... talking to people helped me so much

Jim519's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:09 PM

My heart. I should have not allowed myself to fall for a person so quickly. Love hurts. I understand people use/abuse the word Love. Most use it in generic ways. When I used Love, or My Love for her as in how she made me feel. We could talk about anything. So many same interests. I loved her smile, her mind, spirit, looks. I don't hardly put myself out on the line as I did. But after all the times we talked on the phone and it was a lot, I let my guard down for something I guess what not on the other end. She express all the same feels towards me, but I guess love was not what she was feeling inside, and that is what I felt inside.

That is what I mean by I hurt myself.


Yes, you may have allowed yourself to open too fast. Some can do it, some cant. Dont beat yourself up too bad on this. You went with your gut feeling and if you hadnt then you would have never known.

There is no doubt love hurts, better yet..It can crush you and leave you laying on the side of the road. Yet, once you find it and can actually experience it,...there is nothing like it

codelockbox's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:13 PM
I thank you Jim519 for the advice. I have learned a lot. Its good to see so many understand.

stevil342001's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:13 PM
about 5 years ago i met a women online she told me she was divorced so i went down to florida to find out she had a husband of 15 years.. she want divorced yet..omg what i mess it was

Jill298's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:13 PM


My heart. I should have not allowed myself to fall for a person so quickly. Love hurts. I understand people use/abuse the word Love. Most use it in generic ways. When I used Love, or My Love for her as in how she made me feel. We could talk about anything. So many same interests. I loved her smile, her mind, spirit, looks. I don't hardly put myself out on the line as I did. But after all the times we talked on the phone and it was a lot, I let my guard down for something I guess what not on the other end. She express all the same feels towards me, but I guess love was not what she was feeling inside, and that is what I felt inside.

That is what I mean by I hurt myself.


Yes, you may have allowed yourself to open too fast. Some can do it, some cant. Dont beat yourself up too bad on this. You went with your gut feeling and if you hadnt then you would have never known.

There is no doubt love hurts, better yet..It can crush you and leave you laying on the side of the road. Yet, once you find it and can actually experience it,...there is nothing like it
true Jim but there is nothing more devistating than loss of love

Jim519's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:17 PM



My heart. I should have not allowed myself to fall for a person so quickly. Love hurts. I understand people use/abuse the word Love. Most use it in generic ways. When I used Love, or My Love for her as in how she made me feel. We could talk about anything. So many same interests. I loved her smile, her mind, spirit, looks. I don't hardly put myself out on the line as I did. But after all the times we talked on the phone and it was a lot, I let my guard down for something I guess what not on the other end. She express all the same feels towards me, but I guess love was not what she was feeling inside, and that is what I felt inside.

That is what I mean by I hurt myself.


Yes, you may have allowed yourself to open too fast. Some can do it, some cant. Dont beat yourself up too bad on this. You went with your gut feeling and if you hadnt then you would have never known.

There is no doubt love hurts, better yet..It can crush you and leave you laying on the side of the road. Yet, once you find it and can actually experience it,...there is nothing like it
true Jim but there is nothing more devistating than loss of love



This I do know and agree...But it's not something we can control either. Whether it's we fall out of it, or the other doesnt feel it....

Wolfshado's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:18 PM
wait just a dog gone minute.....


people on here ACTUALLY DATE??noway

codelockbox's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:20 PM
I guess another thing I have come to learn from this, is love hurts. I was with this women a long time ago, we dated for almost 4 years. And we broke up. My heart hurt so badly back then. I thought I was gong to die, but I got over the pain, took almost a year to heal, and now after 5 years I have that pain again.

I guess in the end we can forget something, and let our guard down on other things.


Jim519's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:24 PM

I guess another thing I have come to learn from this, is love hurts. I was with this women a long time ago, we dated for almost 4 years. And we broke up. My heart hurt so badly back then. I thought I was gong to die, but I got over the pain, took almost a year to heal, and now after 5 years I have that pain again.

I guess in the end we can forget something, and let our guard down on other things.





Can you say you actually fell "In Love" with her mainly over a webcam, email, and telephone? In person for two days?

Similar scenario for me a few years back, I was crazy about this women, we date for a long time and it went really well. I was ready to take it to the next level and she wasnt, simply because of her life and what she was involved in with academics and her career. I was confused and didnt understand, I thought I loved her, but in looking back I honestly think it was more of an infatuation now....I truly beleive Love doesnt happen overnight. Maybe it's the need of having someone? Missing that and wanting it so bad?

codelockbox's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:32 PM
I guess "Love" is different for everyone. I don't use the term generically. I guess my feel of love is the bond, a very strong bond you have with a person.

I understand for some people that bond can take a long time. And to me the bond was strong.

3 month of talking, that is e-mail, yahoo, and phone. I had built a strong bond with her. Anything from movies, interests, her likes and dislikes.

We had so much in common and I felt in my heart that she completed me as a person from what we shared. I understand you need physical needs and wants, Lusts our hearts desire. But I fell in love with her as a person who made be feel complete not just in the physical needs that nature programed into me.

I feel in love with her because of what we had in common, because when we talked how she made me feel, how everything seem so right.

I guess that was a illusion on my end of this. She expressed how much she liked me, how happy I made her feel.

In the end. I wore my heart on my sleeve and I guess she didn't feel the same. She expressed to me all the feeling I was having she also had. I guess why this hurts in the end when you express so much to have it all ripped away in a heart beat.

no photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:46 PM
That really sucks. Sorry it happened to you, I know exactly how you feel. That's happened to me, more than once, although i never went to meet them, thank god. It'd be nice if people would have the integrity and consideration of others to just stay out of the "dating pool" whether online or in "the real world," until they're ready. It's not fair to the other person. Once you fall for someone it's pretty hard to erase those feelings.

I used to talk to a guy online and he claimed he was over this girl he was into- she was never into him, but he refused to take no for answer- so I let myself fall for him. He claimed he really liked me, wanted to meet me, blah blah, you know the drill. Well, one day he informs me, via email, that he has decided he owes it to himself, and to her- who is not remotely interested in him at all, mind you, she even has a live-in bf of 3 years- to try to have a relationship with her. He hoped me and him could be friends, unless it was too "wounding" for me to handle, in which case he was sorry. Needless to say, we're no longer friends.

If you decide to continue internet dating, I hope it works for you, it's never worked for me, so I don't even try anymore. Best of luck. :)flowerforyou

codelockbox's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:53 PM
Oh I feel for you. I understand life is only what you make of it. I have to take what has been handed to me and better myself with the experience I have gotten and learn from it.

Like I said with my very first post. My buddy told me about this link to talk to new people. I was never searching for love but I guess I feel in love.

Love is a crazy thing. You can look for love and never find it, or don't look for it and it creeps up and bites you in the ass.

But I do like this site a lot. So many people on here to talk to and a great community of people to listen and share stories with each other.

That is what makes this site so great in my opinion.

ChocolatBliss's photo
Sat 03/22/08 12:58 PM
Dude , this happened to me about 3 years ago ..long story short i flew to Europe on my dime and the minute i got there she was M.I.A !! when i finally met up with her we went out and i thought everything was cool then the next day she pulls a david copperfield on me (she disappeared) and leaves me a bottle of wine and a dear john post card and the front desk of my hotel !!! I caught the first flight outta there .. So I know what you are going through it does get better ..but it is just a big mind **** afterwards .. WE did the email telephone thing for about a year ... So yeah men have it bad too....

Keep your head up player ..You are worth much much more that she could have ever given you

Jill298's photo
Sat 03/22/08 01:00 PM
it really is HER loss, not yours. You're worth more than you think you areflowerforyou

MirrorMirror's photo
Sat 03/22/08 01:00 PM
frown Thats sucks dude :cry: