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| Topic: One GLORIOUS profile | |
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"laid back outdoors type sports work homeowner own my own construction company .
like to travel to the beach going to the gym to work out cookouts softball baseball basketball life has been so good to me a women who will help drive me athletic fit someone who i can think about all day and cant wait to get home to see her, faithful, respectful have goals and a positive outlook on life." He forgot to add "not fond of punctuation." |
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"FUN, Romance, Adventure, Honesty, Loyal, Loving, Caring, Helpful, Sincere. (Need more words, huh, well I am just a good man. Sometimes explanations are best said with the mouth, eyes, hands, ears, and nose. What am I looking for? If the first nine words are not in your vocabulary, I guess we don't fit. Oh well... Have as nice of a life as you can. If you want to see what's in my yard, get down off of your fence. Meet me where I play."
I don't even want to speculate about what he says with his nose.  |
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Here's a set from awhile back: "Well let' put it this way I'm 22 and looking to stay that way." One word: Cryogenics -- Joan Rivers' kid obviously ============ "I play darts for the city of Chicago and I'm just checking this out to see what it's all about." I didn't even know Chicago had a professional darts team! Live and learn.... -- Y'know my gramma plays shuffleboard for the city of Sheboygan... ============ "i am big and sexy and have no kids or married and i live at home with my mom and dad and my two sister and i am look for a apartment and a job" How is this one not taken? -- and i allergic to punctuation and capitalization and verb conjugation ============ "Im a 24 year old Mother of three, in search of a nice desent man that is not a born jerk, has goals and dreams and means in which to achieve them." Some are born jerks, others have jerkness thrust upon them.... -- And others of us have to work real hard at it ============ "im 5'0 even and i weight 160-180 like watching football,baseball,basketball,i like to watch movies and spend time with my man i like to kiss and huge" Huge? -- That would be after the snacks during the game... ============ "I am unique like everyone else." That's like some kind of Zen thing.... -- Another koan for ya there ============ "I am a honest younge women looking for a honest man. I am a single monther of a baby girl, she is my pride and joy. So of corse I want someone who loves kids." Of corse you do. -- Of corse you cain't be an Enlish teecher ============ "hello helloe helleoelehhelejeoejo" What did I tell you about typing with that crack pipe in your hand? -- Meth. It's meth that does that. ============ "im friendly and i live my life to the fullist well i try and im outgoing and loving and i would love to shere my life with someone who is a real gentalman someone who would like to have a good time hanging out" ....and I come from a planet where there is no such thing as punctuation.... -- Same allergy as "big and sexy" above ============ "Hi! I'M FUN 2 HANG OUT WITH I LIKE 2 PARTY I LIKE GUYS WITH MUSSLES." Go talk to those guys on that boat over there. -- "I'm Popeye the sailor man!" ============ "hello my name is jfdisufiojeoi and if you want to talk do it" I would, but, damn, I always have trouble with those Dutch names. -- Italian you idiot. Notice the "i" at the end? ============ "I'm a around -away girl. I'm 5'7 dark brown eyes, dark brown skin I'm most down to earth person you'll meet. My style is urban/ skatebroad P. I'm shy at first then i become extermely silly. i rather be goofy" My Uncle Jake is a translator at the U.N., would you mind if I gave him a call? -- Nothing like a goofy skatebroad to make life fun... ============ "my eyes change colors i love foot ball every now and then evemn though i don't know what is going on. i love most sports i'm kinda a girl girl not all the way i love to get down and dirty i have 8 brother" ....more commonly referred to as "head trauma".... -- Key words to look for: "i don't know what is going on". ALWAYS an interesting date. ============ "I'M SOOOO HOT AND CHARMING" So is a pot-bellied stove, what's your point? -- I think you found it. ============ "Well, I am a single mother of one, I love my child very much and anyone I meet should except him too" Why should your child not love himself? -- So just ignore the kid in the corner? ============ "i like to read read magazines and books." In case you didn't really grasp it the first time. -- Well she DID say magazines AND books... ============ "lookinf for some that likes bod tits" Well, I don't know what those are.... -- She has 'em ALL OVER! ============ "I'm having kind of a bad year." Just think, you could be in the White House. Kind of puts it all in perspective. -- "So come date me so I can spread the misery" ============ |
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ugh
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ugh Is that from a profile???  |
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just checking to see if anyone was around
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puppies need profiles too
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Edited by
lilith401
on
Mon 03/17/08 08:49 AM
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Headliner: "you could spend all day trying to come up with something smart to type here."
"I think there is only one way to know someone and that is through communication. That out of the way I like just about anything." Do you think that took all day? |
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I agree
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You following me, Mirror? 
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First Date
( UNDER SOME CONSTRUCTION ) Let's see,... I pull up in my custom Pantera ( Don't laugh it could happen! hahaha ) you are looking supermodel hot and sexy in a tiny dress that reveals way more than you would ever actually wear in public except in a guy fantasy, hehehe,... We race at speeds the would make astronauts hurl, recklessly through traffic, but somehow instead of the terror we should be feeling by my superfast lousy driving, we are romantically gripped by lust like some silly perfume or "I-Cant-Believe-It's-Not-Butter" commercial. ( Fabio better not be there or he's getting slapped on general principle! What a sissy girlie man! ) hahaha,... Then we pull up to a trendy night club that in reality I can't afford ( but I am writing this so Nah nah nah! ) We go inside,.... nevermind that I am Scandinavian ( which equals "So white the boy cant dance!" ) and we proceed to dance in ways that shame the cast of, "Take the Lead" or "Dirty Dancing". Afterward we head back to a romantic view of the Bay ( My fantasy so near my home locality! Duh! ) and I say something witty, you laugh tantilizingly ( see the earlier perfume romance commercial refferance ) and we then get hot and passionate in a car that looks sexy but was not built to accomodate horny daters trying to get freaky by the bay! I nibble, you kiss, we touch, your mom tried to warn you ( Hey,... I had no idea she was YOUR mom! Besides that was so long ago,... ) Hahaha,... But None-the-less the sex is great ( best you ever had of course! Hahahaha Guy Thing! ) and we agree to continue this back at my place,.... Then hugging you closely I move in and just then as you gasp in helpless ecstasy,.... I wake up only to discover my pillow has been drooled upon and squeezed into a weird shape, and I am running late for our real date,... sheesh! I better rewrite this! hahahaha,... - Erik - Guys love to brag about how great we are in bed! ( In my case it's true,... but most are just bragging! ) hahaha Like that one? But to support the fantasy vs. reality here's a little poem I wrote as a sexual study. Enjoy! - HOW I SEE MYSELF SEXUALLY - vs. ( Reality ) ________________________________________ ALL THE GIRLS SAID ERIK WAS LONG ( Winded ) THAT AMONG MEN HE WAS SO HUNG ( up,... ) FROM THIS WORLD HE DIDNT BELONG ( ever ) SONGS OF HIS SEXUAL PROWESS WERE SUNG ( jokingly ) IN THE BEDROOM HE MADE THEM SCREAM ( enough! ) AS WE MENTIONED HE HAD ALL THE STUFF ( Wrong ) THE WAY THAT HE TOUCHED THEM MADE THEM DREAM ( of others ) ALL HIS WILD SKILLS MADE IT SO TOUGH ( not to laugh! ) MY PRECEPTION = SEX GOD! The Reality = "Winded up,... ever jokingly enough! Wrong of others not to laugh!" |
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Hello sweetheart if u really single and not full of
**** please pick up the phone and give me a call and u can also texts me and please email me with your pictures so i can see what u look like ****** (***)***-**** Male : Age: 35 : **********, South Carolina : Well i just want you to know that i really love how fine beautiful and so very lovely you look on hear and that i really am looking to go with that very very special woman that i really love to finally go with and to also married one day and that i'm very serious about meeting someone in my life. And i really love PLUS SIZE WOMAN AND THAT I DONT CARE HOW BIG YOU ARE CAUSE I LOVE ALL THAT THICKNESS THAT YOU WILL HAVE FOR ME IF YOU WILL LOVE ME TO HAVE IT. Because my love i'm bold enough to handie all that love you will have for me and i dont want you to bee shy my love cause i wont bite i just love to nibble all over your beautiful body whenever you let me because i'm a very very good freak if you will lov me to be. And i'm from Charleston SC born and raised and i just love to have you in my life so its up to you now if you will love us to get to know eachother and hares my phone number (843)870-3944 and if you email me sweetheart please email me with pictures ok cause i send other member messages with my phone numer and my email address and i get email all the time its just i dont know who thay are then when i reply to thay email for pictures some of them say my pic on the site like i ask them that. So i meen its up to you if you send me emails but i just love to know who you are when you email by by for now !!!!!!! Send me a message! Profession: DryWall & Painting Contractor Interests: I love to travel to the woman that i will love to go with and give her all the time that she will love me to give her and i also love giveing the woman i will love to go with full body massages for hours and rubing her beautiful foot so good |
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Because my love i'm bold enough to handie all that love you will have for me and i dont want you to bee shy my love cause i wont bite i just love to nibble all over your beautiful body whenever you let me because i'm a very very good freak if you will lov me to be. I think I just vomited a little bit in my mouth.
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Don't worry Lilith - I think that guy is looking for Lex's blushin' Russian brides. |
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"FUN, Romance, Adventure, Honesty, Loyal, Loving, Caring, Helpful, Sincere. (Need more words, huh, well I am just a good man. Sometimes explanations are best said with the mouth, eyes, hands, ears, and nose. What am I looking for? If the first nine words are not in your vocabulary, I guess we don't fit. Oh well... Have as nice of a life as you can. If you want to see what's in my yard, get down off of your fence. Meet me where I play." I don't even want to speculate about what he says with his nose. Ah-Choo ?? |
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It's really a shame we can't make fun of stuff from the threads... Damn, they make it so easy! |
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I don't know how I missed this topic. Good one, AD... Go ahead, make fun of my threads, I don't care
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I thought you'd already posted in here EE Go back to page one and read through it all. This is one of the few threads that's worth it. Damned entertaining! |
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I still find this one the funniest/saddest/most desperate I've seen...
Hello Ladies, I Am real picky in whom I would Marry. She must Love God with all your heart. She Must Love children. she needs to enjoy the simple things in life. such as walks in the park on a lightly sprinkle day the parks I am talling about are the serria mountains she must be able to be free from responsibilities for the summers or be able to take them with.such as children. she must be able to pick up a shovel to help me plant a garden. and in the building of our house. right now i stay in fresno and hang in the down town library. i also have dinner and lunch at the poverello house. its a good meal. sometimes not i have a cot out of the weather but it still gets cold at night. it would be really nice if i can find a wife right off. i refuse to make love to another lady until marrige. so lets get married asap. i do not want to sin against God. nor will I. please get in your car and come and rescue me. come and find me hard at work on the puter in the library. rescue me. i am problebly at the library right now |
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