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| Topic: One Of The Boys? | |
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OK - We've all heard it...some have felt it. When a man is assertive towards a goal, he's a mover, shaker, go getter. A woman....a Biach.  In a meeting last week Mario said, "Ellen, why are you being such a D!ck about this?". Ellen said, "because I'm the only one in this room who has balls enough to take a position". She played the "boys game" and was better at it. It seems like most women I run into "like" to beat the boys at their own game. I've been a fly on the wall for womens conversations.........  MUCH more graphic than men's! WOMEN: At one time it was out of necessity, but at this point do you LIKE "playing hardball" or wish there was more class and decorum when operating in mixed company? Define 'playing hardball'.............if you dare...  Walking not softly and carrying a big stick...whether natural appendage or not. 
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I have a filthy mouth. I grew up in a all male household.  You seem to own your speech, your lifestyle, and your sexuality. That's Power!  It's about all I own, besides my washer and dryer.
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OK - We've all heard it...some have felt it. When a man is assertive towards a goal, he's a mover, shaker, go getter. A woman....a Biach. In a meeting last week Mario said, "Ellen, why are you being such a D!ck about this?". Ellen said, "because I'm the only one in this room who has balls enough to take a position". She played the "boys game" and was better at it. It seems like most women I run into "like" to beat the boys at their own game. I've been a fly on the wall for womens conversations......... MUCH more graphic than men's! WOMEN: At one time it was out of necessity, but at this point do you LIKE "playing hardball" or wish there was more class and decorum when operating in mixed company? Define 'playing hardball'.............if you dare... Walking not softly and carrying a big stick...whether natural appendage or not. I am happy to go where angels fear to tread... smelling salts are not in my vocabulary, and I have saved many a person's arse from curly situations, irrespective of their gender... I don't see either gender having to be any 'type'... and I suspect, 'assertive', is the new black...no matter what colour ribbon you wore in your hair when you were little. Not everyone has a partner, or pal to chop the wood, change the tyres, darn the socks, arrange the flowers... but both genders are capable of it... ( Was my stick sharp enough?  )
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I have a filthy mouth. I grew up in a all male household. You seem to own your speech, your lifestyle, and your sexuality. That's Power! It's about all I own, besides my washer and dryer. ....and I'm sure you're not afraid to use the spin cycle even when there isn't any laundry
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Edited by
Beachfarmer
on
Tue 02/26/08 03:35 AM
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OK - We've all heard it...some have felt it. When a man is assertive towards a goal, he's a mover, shaker, go getter. A woman....a Biach. In a meeting last week Mario said, "Ellen, why are you being such a D!ck about this?". Ellen said, "because I'm the only one in this room who has balls enough to take a position". She played the "boys game" and was better at it. It seems like most women I run into "like" to beat the boys at their own game. I've been a fly on the wall for womens conversations......... MUCH more graphic than men's! WOMEN: At one time it was out of necessity, but at this point do you LIKE "playing hardball" or wish there was more class and decorum when operating in mixed company? Define 'playing hardball'.............if you dare... Walking not softly and carrying a big stick...whether natural appendage or not. I am happy to go where angels fear to tread... smelling salts are not in my vocabulary, and I have saved many a person's arse from curly situations, irrespective of their gender... I don't see either gender having to be any 'type'... and I suspect, 'assertive', is the new black...no matter what colour ribbon you wore in your hair when you were little. Not everyone has a partner, or pal to chop the wood, change the tyres, darn the socks, arrange the flowers... but both genders are capable of it... ( Was my stick sharp enough? ) Lee.... You are a "Progressive" and usually don't think in terms of separation. I completely worded my inquiry wrong. It just seems to me that sometime in the 90s (I think), that there seemed to be a shift where (just for example) women would be more likely to TELL a sexually explicit joke than be offended by one. The 70s and 80s seemed to be so reactionary (probably necessarily) and now the "PC thing" has taken a back seat to ownership of topics "where angels might not dare to tread". |
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Joel, I suspect as this trend towards women being equal to men, and men being capable of nurturing, a shrugging off, of the 50's mentality, it was a quite normal phenomena for women to take on what were seen to be male traits, ie, aggressive business dealings, aggressive posturing, both physically and verbally...for women to achieve success, (commonly thought to be equality) they had to adopt traditional male behaviours.
Talk about a gender confusion era.... Now there is the dichotomy of women returning to the instinctual feminine, and males to the instinctual masculine, and they look nothing like the gender roles that have been modelled over centuries.... Some people have had challenges adapting to this, and struggle to flex into roles that dont require a gender... It's an interesting era, and am so glad to be in the wings of the opening performance of this era. |
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Good morning my Friend
Actually I think that this is a thought provoking topic . I own my own business but when I was still in the big bad world of working for the man .. It seemed like I had to work harder and play smarter then the men in my position .. I assumed it had to do with all those meetings of the mind that I missed in the Men's rest room .. I also always got the feeling the times that I did have to leave work and take care of a sick child or go to a school function that those were always counted against me at this family first ( gak) business.. There is a rush when you do beat someone at thier own game no doubt about it be it male or female ...
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Is adopting (stereo-typically) male behaviours "fun" or a necessary evil?
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Is adopting (stereo-typically) male behaviours "fun" or a necessary evil? Actually I don't like being treated like one of the guys .. I do ask the men in my rock climbing group to watch thier mouths around me lol but when you get to the top of an especially hard climb a few colorful words of joy are sometimes spoken .. I guess on the whole cussing and dirty joke thing - there is a double standard and sometimes I will let them out but it usually shocks those that know me well .. It is like bambi with a gun it just doesn't fit .. Gender roles have become blurred and I hope that one day it will just be we are all people first and our sexes second .. I still like my doors opened and of course we here in the south use our womanly wiles to get our ways .. they are called breasts .. wonder twins activate ... |
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Tue 02/26/08 04:00 AM
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Is adopting (stereo-typically) male behaviours "fun" or a necessary evil? I don't know, I was born this way, and culturally the polyester frock, sensible shoes and apron, got ditched in the fifties here in Australia... perhaps because of the harshness of the country, and the seasons, gender is irrelevant... So is it fun adopting a set of 'bloke' behaviours? No, it just is... I am sorry, I am having such a challenge with the what is male behaviour and what is female behaviours. I can be aggressive when someone or myself is threatened. Business wise, I have always stood alone, it's a genderless industry I work in. Women have always had the bawdiest of humour, we just didn't want to offend men's delicate ears... my gran could tell the filthiest jokes, but always out of grandad's earshot. Ask any indigenous group of men and women...women told stories, and cackled at their wry and sometimes lurid humour, long before Edison remembered his lightbulb. |
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Is adopting (stereo-typically) male behaviours "fun" or a necessary evil? I don't know I was born this way, and culturally the polyester frock, sensible shoes and apron, got ditched in the fifties here in Australia... perhaps because of the harshness of the country, and the seasons, gender is irrelevant... So is it fun adopting a set of 'bloke' behaviours? No, it just is... I am sorry, I am having such a challenge with the what is male behaviour and what is female behaviours. I can be aggressive when someone or myself is threatened. Business wise, I have always stood alone, it's a genderless industry I work in. Women have always had the bawdiest of humour, we just didn't want to offend men's delicate ears... my gran could tell the filthiest jokes, but always out of grandad's earshot. Ask any indigenous group of men and women...women told stories, and cackled at their wry and sometimes lurid humour, long before Edison remembered his lightbulb. you wimmens don't skeer me!!
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Morning s1ow...
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I prefer to remain more silent in the workplace as actions speak louder than words.
I recently accepted a position in which I replaced a male and was quick to discover, from other employees, that he was far less than adequate. New into the position, I do not have time to battle with words in the board room. I take notes, understand what needs to be done and complete what I am presented with. Nuff said! I walk the walk. |
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Also just a thought even has far back has biblical times there were woman in business .. The one that comes to mind is Lydia in the bible who was a merchant of purple cloth .. she put the disciples up in her home before the walls of the jail came down which scared the hell out of the romans and ultimately was the begining of the end ... The big JC himself taught woman and men to follow him .. the story of Mary and Martha comes to mind .. So seems to me that this very topic has been going on for a very long time ... I have a little sign in my kitchen that says a woman place is in the home and I will be there as soon as I get off work ...
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Edited by
Beachfarmer
on
Tue 02/26/08 04:03 AM
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"Blurred" for sure!
My 2 closest "female role models" (if you will) were most certainly complex INDIVIDUALS. Mother could tell a joke like Jess' gran while knitting Sister ..."almost" ultra-feminist through college (WAY more than just opening shoes' door for her).....& ultimately decided to stay home to raise her child |
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I prefer to remain more silent in the workplace as actions speak louder than words. I recently accepted a position in which I replaced a male and was quick to discover, from other employees, that he was far less than adequate. New into the position, I do not have time to battle with words in the board room. I take notes, understand what needs to be done and complete what I am presented with. Nuff said! I walk the walk. Morning s1ow... it reminds me of "fitting in" behavior when someone new joins a group - any group and starts adopting mannerisms and speech patterns - of the group they associate with... such people are social chameleons. there are those who easily adapt to their changing environment and thrive successfully. these niche fillers succeed to progeny and become successful organisms in Darwin's sense of the word. there are also those whose environment is changed and molded by their presence in it the way a massive body bends time and space like a rubber sheet. these people are mutants...like Einstein...and when they lie on the bed their partner irresistibly rolls downhill toward them...but with a smile on their face...
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I have a filthy mouth. I grew up in a all male household. You seem to own your speech, your lifestyle, and your sexuality. That's Power! It's about all I own, besides my washer and dryer. ....and I'm sure you're not afraid to use the spin cycle even when there isn't any laundry Oh yes, all the time.
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I will say though Joel, it is a scary situation when faced with an intensely aggressive woman in the workplace... it seems that in the 90's women had to be twice the male....
And be a superhuman housewife, and wife, and hostess... That seems to be fading now, women have realised it won them no favours to adopt behaviours which were stereo typically male, especially the lesser type behaviours,( aggression, posturing, poor taste derogatory jokes) it seems women are much more accepted and respected by their peers, both male and female, for their contributions, rather than their behaviours. We came out of the kitchen, yes, but we can still scramble a mean egg.... (as can males.) Geez Joel you picked a tricky topic, this whole male/female thing does my head in, and although I have written papers on the psychology behind this paradigm shift in gender roles, it still feels like I am typing with a mouthful of marbles.. it just doesn't sit well with me. |
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I will say though Joel, it is a scary situation when faced with an intensely aggressive woman in the workplace... it seems that in the 90's women had to be twice the male.... And be a superhuman housewife, and wife, and hostess... That seems to be fading now, women have realised it won them no favours to adopt behaviours which were stereo typically male, especially the lesser type behaviours,( aggression, posturing, poor taste derogatory jokes) it seems women are much more accepted and respected by their peers, both male and female, for their contributions, rather than their behaviours. We came out of the kitchen, yes, but we can still scramble a mean egg.... (as can males.) Geez Joel you picked a tricky topic, this whole male/female thing does my head in, and although I have written papers on the psychology behind this paradigm shift in gender roles, it still feels like I am typing with a mouthful of marbles.. it just doesn't sit well with me. Why do you think they call it "Gender"?
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I prefer to remain more silent in the workplace as actions speak louder than words. I recently accepted a position in which I replaced a male and was quick to discover, from other employees, that he was far less than adequate. New into the position, I do not have time to battle with words in the board room. I take notes, understand what needs to be done and complete what I am presented with. Nuff said! I walk the walk. Morning s1ow... it reminds me of "fitting in" behavior when someone new joins a group - any group and starts adopting mannerisms and speech patterns - of the group they associate with... such people are social chameleons. there are those who easily adapt to their changing environment and thrive successfully. these niche fillers succeed to progeny and become successful organisms in Darwin's sense of the word. there are also those whose environment is changed and molded by their presence in it the way a massive body bends time and space like a rubber sheet. these people are mutants...like Einstein...and when they lie on the bed their partner irresistibly rolls downhill toward them...but with a smile on their face... as long as "my" mutant has big hooters personality (especially a conforming one) only goes so far runs like a coward before the Anita Army shows up with snips
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