Howdy y'all

The Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful
parrot.

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says
some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and
waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said

"New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then! thought
"that's really not so bad.

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them
and said: "New house, new madam, new girls.

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about
the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said:

"Hi, Keith!"

nope trucks .....


((((((BRY))))))

Trucks and cars.....


Hi {{{{{{{{Cuppy and BRY}}}}}}}}

funny stuff Bry

(((((Bry, Eileena))))))

LMAOROF....

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.
Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth
has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating That she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The
hands Have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Hillary Clinton's clock?" asked the man. "Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

LOVED THAT 1 BRY ......ROFLMAO..... 2 DAMN FUNNY.... HAVE TEARS IN EYES ......LOL...

((((((dc)))))..

Send some sunshine up this was hun...We had
more snow today...

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
> A.) So men can be open minded.

Good one catch...

LMAO..!!!

Damn & all this time I thought was so we could breath......




Sunshine on it's way just 4 you sprite......

does that warm ya a bit....

It would if my feet wern't so darn cold..

So I guess ya want me 2 lick your feet now?????

I told ya I'm a lap dawg , not a foot puppy

Damn my sprite flew away

musta skeeeeeeerd her

My friend Jim got home after work yesterday and his wife asked him to take her to an expensive place...

So he took her to the gas station!

hey there dc,hows it been going for ya

You didn't scare me off hun...

You know how I flutter around...

Nothin scares ES...lmao

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called – and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose ..


3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.