But if she is posting a false pic, isn't it true that there is a disingenuous side of her personality which you won't know about? I maintain that it's all but impossible to figure out someone's personality online. Personality TYPES, maybe...but only broadly.

Sorry to bolt, but you'll have to check back later and i'll address it...I've got 3 pages left on a 15 page paper due in a half hour....

Depends on the vehicle they drive.

I met a guy online once..exchanged emails and phone numbers..then I found out that his pic was like 15yrs old..he didnt bother to say a word about it..lol.Needless to say..we dont talk anymore..lol

working in a home has given me a new perspective on looks...believe me old age is not pretty.i'll take a great personality.who wants to live with an ugly old grouch?

True...looks do not last forever!

Well THAT certainly tells you something about his personality doesn't it?!?!

I want both..

personality first

Ok, finished banging that sucker out...

I think that it's incredibly hard to get a real grasp on someone's personality online. First off, there's the anonymity factor to consider. No one here knows anyone, nor will they have to converse with them ever again if they don't want to. In real life, people who witness you being a big a$$ will judge you and you'll be embarrassed...but I've found that embarrassment is scarcely a deterrent online, and people will act greatly different than in real life.

Secondly, the text medium makes it hard to convey emotions, connotations, humor, etc. Multiple times I've been joking about something online and people will get offended and think that I'm being a jerk, because they thought I was being serious. This happens far more often online than in real life, and leads to a false impression of someone's personality.

And those are just from the forums...don't even get me started on the profiles. Some of the most interesting people I know have "Just looking to meet someone nice" as their entire profile. Other people have mini-novellas in theirs, but turns out later that they aren't very interesting and most of what they said was just what they thought other people wanted to hear.

With a picture...I can see you. I can physically make out your appearance, and so for me looks are conveyed much better in the online medium than any sort of personality. And as for people who post fake pictures, like I said before isn't that just another aspect of their personality (dishonesty) that you are unable to know online because of the restrictions of the internet (E.g. you have no way of proving if they're honest with their picture or faking).

Edit: Sorry for the length of that, I just got finished writing a paper, so I'm in writing mode.

I think my profile conveys my looks and my personality..

Soxfan you make numerous excellent points but I put the qualifier "sometimes" in that sentence.

Yeah, it's VERY easy to be a fake online. When people ask me for advice (which is quite often given my experience with it ) about online dating one of the first things I say is "Internet relationships are perfect and that is their greatest downfall." The other person can be whoever you wish or imagine them to be. We all see the world through our own glasses and it's not until we spend significant time in person with someone that we truly know them.


But in the online dating world someone may only have a blurry older pic to display or perhaps no photo at all. If they are honest in their profile and honest in their postings on a forum such as this then you get a view of their personality but not they're physicality.

Hence the statement "Sometimes it's easier to gauge a personality than to see their appearance". (Rephrased for clarity)

Of course the fact of the matter is all too often on sites like this both the personality and the appearance are complete frauds.

Aaronz, I saw the modifier in the original post. I still disagree that it is ever easier to gauge someone's personality than their looks online. Must be a personal thing. I just never feel like I could adequately figure out anyone's personality online. From meeting people off of this site in real life after emailing them often, I can say that their personality hasn't been what I expected.

Obviously, there is the caveat that extreme personalities can be deciphered easily. Someone who posts incessantly with rude messages or something along those lines is easy to classify.

Well there has to be some attraction, but personality is mostly what I look for. Because in reality I have ran into women that were really beautiful as looks go, but the min they open there mouth. I lost interest

Yeah, the "extreme" cases came to mind after I'd made the last post. But even so I've met a few people from online and they were pretty much who I figured they'd be. Sometimes like you say you get completely blindsided too. I dig pretty deep when I'm emailing people though so maybe I'm getting more personal stuff than average.

It's a crap shoot any way you look at it - but then what the heck else are we gonna do? There's only so many singles at church, the bars and clubs are full of shallow punks, women grab their purse and scamper away when you say hi in the produce aisle...

So here we are.

The elephant man had a great personality, but how many women did you see on his arm?

In a magazine poll I found online, women were more likely to say personality matters more while men were more inclined to admit that looks matter more. With anything, there are exceptions, of course.

I'm new to this on-line thing, but I would venture to guess that just as looks could be faked, so could personality. Someone may be more at ease typing flirtations into a computer than in a public, live setting. Plus, you have the benefit of editing and censoring your thoughts prior to posting.

My initial posting here was that looks mattered more, and I blamed it on being a 30-something-year-old woman who is driven by hormones a little more than I'd hope for. In all honesty, however, whether in a live setting or an online community, I am initially attracted to looks. I believe truly that most people are. We like looking at beautiful creatures of the opposite sex--all of us. Sometimes, that beauty can quickly dissolve if a horrible personality surfaces. And vice versa. Still yet, I'd admit that I've met some great men who were not very attractive physically with whom I did not pursue a relationship. Physical attraction and our own definition of beauty is part of what makes a love connection.

Love should advance beyond physical attraction, however. We all get old, wrinkled, and ugly physically. That's why we need to do our shopping early. :-)