Community > General Discussion

Topic: Is it so difficult.... ?
hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 01/15/08 03:49 PM
Well, IMDavid, you never e-mailed me. I would have at least replied.

AaronzDad Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 10182	Tue 01/15/08 04:21 PM
ImDavid (too many dang Davids around... I'm another one!) The problem with online dating is every site eventually gets overrun with the losers and idiots. YOU may be a decent guy and you write a thoughtful letter to someone. However she's getting dozens or even hundreds of others from every pervert, jackass, psycho, and oddball with an internet connection. She's taken the time to reply nicely to a few emails and received nasty "Who the #*(% do you think you are you little %!^(#" letters in response. LOTS of guys on these sites are too desperate and too immature to handle ANY kind of rejection. So the lovely lady you emailed isn't interested in you for whatever reason. Hey, it ain't personal obviously - all she has to go on is a picture or two and some text on the screen. But she doesn't dare reply since YOU may turn out to be just another freak who will whiiiiine or spew vitriol back at her. Then again maybe SHE is one of the desperate nutcases that flock to these sites and you're just lucky enough to seem too normal for her.

Moondark Joined Tue 11/27/07 Posts: 5866	Tue 01/15/08 04:35 PM
Well, after replying to people, then getting totally slammed because you just aren't interested in the person, even as a friend, you stop replying to people. There are a few things I find creepy, but I'm not going to tell people that. But when you try to be polite and it does no good, you decide it is safer not to answer people you are not interested in hanging out with.

AllSmilesInTulsa Joined Mon 05/28/07 Posts: 1903	Tue 01/15/08 04:42 PM
ImDavid (too many dang Davids around... I'm another one!) The problem with online dating is every site eventually gets overrun with the losers and idiots. YOU may be a decent guy and you write a thoughtful letter to someone. However she's getting dozens or even hundreds of others from every pervert, jackass, psycho, and oddball with an internet connection. She's taken the time to reply nicely to a few emails and received nasty "Who the #*(% do you think you are you little %!^(#" letters in response. LOTS of guys on these sites are too desperate and too immature to handle ANY kind of rejection. So the lovely lady you emailed isn't interested in you for whatever reason. Hey, it ain't personal obviously - all she has to go on is a picture or two and some text on the screen. But she doesn't dare reply since YOU may turn out to be just another freak who will whiiiiine or spew vitriol back at her. Then again maybe SHE is one of the desperate nutcases that flock to these sites and you're just lucky enough to seem too normal for her. As I read through this thread I am thinking the exact same thing. I once politely answered every email. Many times I got the abusive email back so now it all depends on my mood as to whether I reply.

Pretty_Good_Name Joined Tue 01/01/08 Posts: 183	Tue 01/15/08 04:45 PM
I try to get back to people , but to be honest, Often I check my mail right befor I head out the door to work. Sadly enough sometimes I don't get around to mailing them back (usually when I get home from work my mind is worn to the point that I don't think that I could let someone down softly,does that make sense?)

Moondark Joined Tue 11/27/07 Posts: 5866	Tue 01/15/08 04:55 PM
And when you check just before work, it is easy to forget you had things you needed to reply too.

longhairbiker Joined Tue 09/04/07 Posts: 26589	Tue 01/15/08 05:02 PM
Well David, David, David, David, David, and David you really have to look deeper and check your expectations. Its too easy to hide behind a computer screen.

ImDavid Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 1400	Tue 01/15/08 07:02 PM
ImDavid (too many dang Davids around... I'm another one!) The problem with online dating is every site eventually gets overrun with the losers and idiots. YOU may be a decent guy and you write a thoughtful letter to someone. However she's getting dozens or even hundreds of others from every pervert, jackass, psycho, and oddball with an internet connection. She's taken the time to reply nicely to a few emails and received nasty "Who the #*(% do you think you are you little %!^(#" letters in response. LOTS of guys on these sites are too desperate and too immature to handle ANY kind of rejection. So the lovely lady you emailed isn't interested in you for whatever reason. Hey, it ain't personal obviously - all she has to go on is a picture or two and some text on the screen. But she doesn't dare reply since YOU may turn out to be just another freak who will whiiiiine or spew vitriol back at her. Then again maybe SHE is one of the desperate nutcases that flock to these sites and you're just lucky enough to seem too normal for her. Isn't it amazing how quick people change? I had a friend tell me she had a guy writing to her, then he started getting sexual about thing in his letters to her. He was always nice, blah blah blah, but when she rejected his sexual advances, he became abusive and disrespectful. He started calling her all kinds of name, you effing this, you effing that, and all the choice words angry men throw at women. So yeah, I kind of see that point. Of course, that is what the iggy button is for.

ImDavid Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 1400	Tue 01/15/08 07:03 PM
Well David, David, David, David, David, and David you really have to look deeper and check your expectations. Its too easy to hide behind a computer screen. It's not a question of checking my expectations. It's a question of what happened to common courtesy and respect. That's the jest of the letter.

Softtail70 Joined Mon 12/31/07 Posts: 377	Tue 01/15/08 07:17 PM
I am guilty...kinda of that. I try to reply to all of them but sometimes...I am just so busy and by the time I get to them, they are like 2 or 3 days old. But, I will reply, even if it is alittle late. I know myself when I e-mail someone, I kinda would like a response like in 24 hours...I am now gonna change my tactics.

Softtail70 Joined Mon 12/31/07 Posts: 377	Tue 01/15/08 07:20 PM
I wrote a lot and just get snub also...yes a GET LOST DUDE would be cooler Mike Honey... I'm gonna write you an e-mail...a nice one...

littleredhen Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6837	Tue 01/15/08 07:31 PM
Softtail I wish I had your "problem" LOL

symbelmyne Joined Mon 01/14/08 Posts: 5356	Tue 01/15/08 07:35 PM
I think sometimes what happens with these sites is they kind of turn into a buffet bar. People pick what they want and leave the rest behind. True that common courtesy requires some kind of acknowledgement, but one shouldn't take a failure to reply as a personal snub. Its just too soon in the game to worry about such things, don't you think? Besides, what someone doesn't do, speaks volumes about them too.

Softtail70 Joined Mon 12/31/07 Posts: 377	Tue 01/15/08 07:41 PM
Softtail I wish I had your "problem" LOL Hey Littlered Hon, I see you are in my state..Welcome...anyway...In my profile I target the Harley world...which I have been a part of most my life...So I just get so many e-mails from people with the same interests I have...I would love to have my Knight in shining armour come riding into my mailbox

DaveyB Joined Wed 10/10/07 Posts: 18786	Fri 01/18/08 12:44 PM
Hi David (yet another one here) I do know what you mean, and I too try to respond to any but the most rude messages. And yes I have had a few. Hopefully like me you will have better luck here than elsewhere. I have had a few people not respond to me, but a response back to me seems to be the norm rather than the exception here so I'm happy.

CaRisLOVE Joined Fri 11/02/07 Posts: 3459	Fri 01/18/08 12:48 PM
Tell me about it tha local girls i message dont respond much at all, its like im some kinda virus , i keep wonderng if their shy or local girls really think im some disease, but it sucks i get haunted by American girls who just message me like crazy

N8Short Joined Mon 02/19/07 Posts: 231	Fri 01/18/08 12:48 PM
Is it so difficult to be polite enough to respond to someone's email? Even if you are not interested in friendship, what is so hard about being polite enough to respond and say thanks but no thanks? What has happened to common courtesy these days? I believe in treating someone as I wish to be treated, so I politely let people know if I am interested in them or not. I like making friends with anyone, so that is okay. I hardly turn anyone down in real life, just seems there is less people who want to be friends even though it is says so in their profile. If someone has taken the time to write, at least be kind enough to respond even if you are not interested in anything. Just be nice about it. I haven't had that experience here as I am still fairly new and haven't really written to more than a couple of people. I just think it may be a good idea to bring attention to being kind. Thanks for listening to my "rant". Here's to making new friends.. My only thought would be this.... It's a pretty whacky and dangerous world out there and even on here. You never REALLY know the people you are dealing with and what they are capable of.... This being said... Some people might have some personal experience and have set up personal "Defenses"... This might be one of them.... Not everyone can handle "Polite" you know. It's just easier to not get involved if you KNOW you don't want to be involved. That's my take... And with this logic, you can say... "It's cool, no worries. It's all in good fun anyways so let's just get over it?" I hope that reads as polite as I meant it to sound

DaveyB Joined Wed 10/10/07 Posts: 18786	Fri 01/18/08 12:53 PM
Well, after replying to people, then getting totally slammed because you just aren't interested in the person, even as a friend, you stop replying to people. There are a few things I find creepy, but I'm not going to tell people that. But when you try to be polite and it does no good, you decide it is safer not to answer people you are not interested in hanging out with. Sad isn't it. I do understand though. A rejection doesn't always get a reply from me but sometimes I do and it's always to thank them for taking the time to respond. So sorry you have met up with people that made you want to stop replying.

symbelmyne Joined Mon 01/14/08 Posts: 5356	Fri 01/18/08 06:47 PM
its a crazy world out there, even in cyber-land. Always best to be cautious I guess. Too bad, isn't it ?

Suzanne20 Joined Thu 11/15/07 Posts: 9261	Fri 01/18/08 06:51 PM
Is it so difficult to be polite enough to respond to someone's email? Even if you are not interested in friendship, what is so hard about being polite enough to respond and say thanks but no thanks? What has happened to common courtesy these days? I believe in treating someone as I wish to be treated, so I politely let people know if I am interested in them or not. I like making friends with anyone, so that is okay. I hardly turn anyone down in real life, just seems there is less people who want to be friends even though it is says so in their profile. If someone has taken the time to write, at least be kind enough to respond even if you are not interested in anything. Just be nice about it. I haven't had that experience here as I am still fairly new and haven't really written to more than a couple of people. I just think it may be a good idea to bring attention to being kind. Thanks for listening to my "rant". Here's to making new friends.. I have found that the people who are more likely to respond in a polite and timely manner are in the forums. Agreed Mirror. For the most part, those of us who post in the forums WANT to get to know people. So we are more likely to respond. I personally respond to every message I get. It may take me a little while but eventually everyone gets a response from me.