100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: "Looking For" meanings / discussion... | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Not everyone is Crystal..... you may have very high standards, which may or may not work for you , but most serial daters, only do it for easy access to a man's wallet and all the free meals....otherwise why stipulate number of dates , before granting access to the world' most expensive property?
Now regular daters will only go on dates if there is a spark , a connection or an emotional charge. If that is not present after the first meet and greet, then forget the dates and the numbers....no leg spreading is required or warranted. I totally agree with you Slim... Who the hell tells someone they are getting to know they don't sleep with them till the 6th date then ghost them after the 5th date...Why even bring up the sleeping with someone?? Heck it either happens in the moment or it don't. 
Those are serial daters only out for a free fancy meal. Myself first meet is dutch and I let them know that from the start.. If there is a 2nd and they want to pick up the tab fine if not fine.. But there would not be a 3rd if no connection.. normally not even a 2nd date.. 
Maybe it is just me, but a date should not be dutch. If I ask a girl to go somewhere, then I expect that I am paying. It is nice for her to offer, but I will pay. That also means that we are going to a reasonable place...lol |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not everyone is Crystal..... you may have very high standards, which may or may not work for you , but most serial daters, only do it for easy access to a man's wallet and all the free meals....otherwise why stipulate number of dates , before granting access to the world' most expensive property?
Now regular daters will only go on dates if there is a spark , a connection or an emotional charge. If that is not present after the first meet and greet, then forget the dates and the numbers....no leg spreading is required or warranted. I totally agree with you Slim... Who the hell tells someone they are getting to know they don't sleep with them till the 6th date then ghost them after the 5th date...Why even bring up the sleeping with someone?? Heck it either happens in the moment or it don't.
Those are serial daters only out for a free fancy meal. Myself first meet is dutch and I let them know that from the start.. If there is a 2nd and they want to pick up the tab fine if not fine.. But there would not be a 3rd if no connection.. normally not even a 2nd date..
Maybe it is just me, but a date should not be dutch. If I ask a girl to go somewhere, then I expect that I am paying. It is nice for her to offer, but I will pay. That also means that we are going to a reasonable place...lol BEING an officer and gentleman, I will agree with you that a Man always pays for the date....number one or two or even three... But to make that kinda call, all starts with the first meet and greet...If she is not willing to go Dutch , it tells you plenty in silence, whats gonna happen if you decide to actually date her IMO |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have to agree with Slim and TG here. Most of the time you should know after the first date if you are interested in a person like that. No sense in leading someone on just for meals. It may not happen in everyone's world but girls do it around here also.It is bad enough that some girls will still want to go on another "date" even after you tell them that you do not think you see this going anywhere with them...lol Maybe it is just me, but a date should not be dutch. If I ask a girl to go somewhere, then I expect that I am paying. It is nice for her to offer, but I will pay. That also means that we are going to a reasonable place...lol I concur.. if after the first meet/date a person shud know if they want more or not.. on the YOU have to pay GRB..? I beg ta differ.. under the circumstanstes of no chemistry.. if there is none.. I'd feel weird letting the guy pay.. yes.. it's commendable.. but it just doesn't sit right with me.. makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of someones good nature or EXPECTing him to pay.. ya feel me?? lol now if there IS chemistry.. well.. different story, yes I'll offer.. but if he insists? I'll eventually, graciously accept.. I may not be looking.. but I ain't dead yet either 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
on the YOU have to pay GRB..? I beg ta differ.. under the circumstanstes of no chemistry.. if there is none.. I'd feel weird letting the guy pay.. yes.. it's commendable.. but it just doesn't sit right with me.. makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of someones good nature or EXPECTing him to pay.. ya feel me?? lol now if there IS chemistry.. well.. different story, yes I'll offer.. but if he insists? I'll eventually, graciously accept..
It is not a 'I have to pay' thing but a 'I want to pay' because I asked her out. I am paying to time the time and find out if we have chemistry or not. If there is a possibility for something to happen, then we can talk about a second date. But usually you can tell way before the date is over if you are interested in them or not. So even if there is nothing there, I am paying for my chance to find out. It is better than always wondering if there could have been something...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I get what you're saying.. again.. commendable.. but for me I wouldn't feel comfortable letting HIM pay if there was no chemistry or.. no chance at a 2nd date.. maybe cuz I've had to fend for myself for so long, I'd feel "dirty" (or expected ta put out lol) if he paid..
that said.. if the 1st date is just coffee? (which is more than likely LOL) yeah, sure.. pay for it.. after all.. it's only a coffee lol |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
There used to be another option that I don't see in the OP list. Maybe it got removed? It was 'separated'. When I first got here I chose that option as I was out of a relationship but hadn't been married to him. I learnt in the forums that separated meant something different and not "split up". I'm not really familiar with this cooling off period thing when you file for divorce. We don't really have that anymore although it can take about a year for divorce to be official due to busy courts. But there is no legal cooling off period at all. In the end I had to change to "divorced" which felt weird to me as I'd been divorced for ages and had a long term relationship after that. By choosing "divorced" I basically had to leave that relationship out of the picture, as if it had never happened. That never sat well with me as it was big part of my life! Oops, yep, you're right, haha. Oh well, can't delete it anymore, hihi. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yeah yeah ....you go on a meet and greet if you are attracted to the person....if the meet shows promise, you arrange a first date then a second date ... So after how many dates do you get to sleep with the date... I had one tell me , she does only after six dates.....but she enjoyed all five dates I paid for and then ghosted me....Was I suckered or just scammed by a serial dater..... So if I understand correctly you think that you paying for dates means the woman has to spread her legs for you? Do you really think a few dates/dinners equal a woman giving up her most intimate, most sacred sanctuary??? I don't have a set nr of dates before I get to that point. Any good dating coach would advice against that. You reach that point when you as a woman really want to go that far with a man. And in order for that to happen I need to feel emotionally safe, feel that I can trust the man, rely on him, AND know he's not sexercising other women. The only right time to have sex with a guy is when you have an emotional bond. Until that time there may be other joyful things. Fact a man gets the privilege to spend time with a woman, feel her joy & warmth & playfulness, should be enough. But a few dinners can no way vie with my most valuable gift to a man! If you hold such selfish beliefs you better stop dating. Have dinner by your lonesome self and go see a prostitute for the rest. Not everyone is Crystal..... you may have very high standards, which may or may not work for you , but most serial daters, only do it for easy access to a man's wallet and all the free meals....otherwise why stipulate number of dates , before granting access to the world' most expensive property? Now regular daters will only go on dates if there is a spark , a connection or an emotional charge. If that is not present after the first meet and greet, then forget the dates and the numbers....no leg spreading is required or warranted. The set number of dates is a typical US thing. As for women being after a man's wallet... if a guy implies that over here about 99% of all women reply that they have their own income and don't need a guy's wallet at all. Another thing I don't get, but maybe it's again US & CA: why do you have dinner dates? I wouldn't even be interested in that myself. I like a man with a bit more creativity and initiative, as in coming up with fun things to do. I have never, and I do mean never, been on a dinner date with a man I was not in relationship with. And most certainly not ever a meet & greet. I wouldn't do dinner on a meet & greet either. What if you're half way through your soup, or after ordering but before food arrives, decide he isn't it and you really, really don't want to sit across the table from him for another hour or so? Sod that. So if paying for dates, mostly dinners, is such a problem for you, then why don't you do something else? Tons of things you can do that don't cost a penny. And then you can still have a cup of coffee or something. And by doing all kinds of fun other things you really get to know one another as well. Win-win. To be honest, if all a guy wanted to do or came up with for a date was dinner I'd be gone after 5 dates too! Maybe sooner. And that's not ghosting or using someone for money. That's saying "I don't want to be bored to death!" Another thing I don't get... why do you date women when you think or notice they're only after a free meal? And I stand by what I said earlier on. If all you want when you pay for dinners -which you could circumvent yourself, it's not like you're a victim here- is for her to allow you to have sex with her... go see a prostitute. Paying for dinners doesn't mean you get to have sex with her. Think about this: What if a woman dates a lot and would have sex with each man after 3 dates. By the you meet her she's been doing that for several years. Would you still want her??? I wouldn't want a man who did that either. I don't expect a man to live like a monk, but if he'd been sexercising tons of women by the time I met him, I don't want him. I don't want a man-wh*re by my side. And believe me, I'm not a prude, I have a VERY high sex-drive. But having sex with a guy too soon -before you have an emotional bond- usually means he loses interest and then he is a goner. Leaving me hurt, disappointed, and feeling used. Which is why I don't want to go there. And trust me, not always easy when you do resonate with a guy and feel attracted to him while you have a high sex-drive, hihi. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can not speak for everyone here, but just paying for dinner is just an example. Each date is different since each person is different. Personally I like to see what festivals are going on so it is something new, but I would not want to go to some place she is not also interested in so there should be at least enough conversation between us before going that I think she might like it. Assuming we are just talking about meeting a stranger online here...lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can not speak for everyone here, but just paying for dinner is just an example. Each date is different since each person is different. Personally I like to see what festivals are going on so it is something new, but I would not want to go to some place she is not also interested in so there should be at least enough conversation between us before going that I think she might like it. Assuming we are just talking about meeting a stranger online here...lol And kudos to you! Oftentimes men ask where you want to go, and I've got 3 entirely different things I'd enjoy. Then he can choose which one we're going to do. I will be happy regardless, hihi. And only 1 of the 3 costs money so it's up to him if he's willing to go for that one or not. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oftentimes men ask where you want to go, and I've got 3 entirely different things I'd enjoy. Then he can choose which one we're going to do. I will be happy regardless, hihi. And only 1 of the 3 costs money so it's up to him if he's willing to go for that one or not. The one I always found weird was going to the movies as a first date. Sitting in a dark room with a bunch of other people with a movie that you can not pause or talk during. Maybe you get stuck with a bunch of people that want to talk back to the movie the whole time so you can not hear what is going on. So you are really not there for the movie... Maybe that is the 6th date for some...lol |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Everyone is different... myself I don't see the first meet as anything but a meet and greet.. That is why I prefer to go dutch first meet...
Now if you like them and them you and you decide on a real date to go somewhere. That does not always mean out to dinner.. It can be other things as well.. Maybe just go for a walk or see some sites... heck I had one that we went to the shooting range... Pretty kewl actually and I out shot him.. 
It has been for many years that the men pay.. Actually times have changed... Now at times the one that sets the date pays... It does not hurt for women to pay from time to time... In the past the Men were bread winners now days many women make good money.. So it does not hurt for them to pitch in or pay the tab once in awhile, it is out of respect & not taking advantage of the one your with.. 
There is no US thang~~ for Women all over the world decides when they are going to sleep with a man or if they expect a man to dig into his wallet ..One that implies it is only US Women that does that, needs to do their research.. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Everyone is different... myself I don't see the first meet as anything but a meet and greet.. That is why I prefer to go dutch first meet...
There is no US thang~~ for Women all over the world decides when they are going to sleep with a man or if they expect a man to dig into his wallet ..One that implies it is only US Women that does that, needs to do their research.. I agree... there is no "typical" US or CA thang.. as you said TG.. every woman makes their own decisions.. at least those I know of in Canada do not typically go to dinner on a first date.. it's usually a meet'n greet at a local Tim Horton's.. this way if there is no "spark" ya don't get stuck with the other for long and each pays for their own.. personally I'd hate to sit thru an awkward meal with someone I did NOT like or click with.. I also agree that people shouldn't presume to know (or judge) how others live or act, outside their own back yard.. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
People always presume what others are thinking, even though they are clueless to a certain lifestyle...
I was gonna say we men , but since I cannot presume on behalf of other men , I will say , Me personally...date with intention and in good faith . But do expect , after all the fun and games , including dinners, lunches , breakfasts etc etc to end up in the sack, whenever my date is feeling the vibes, no pressure at all . But if I dont find that happening , it means I am friend zoned...and I will make a dash for the door. I think its a reasonable expectation, having sex when both are ready, otherwise the whole dating experience comes to naught ! And if a woman has a high sex drive and resonates with a guy , she is gonna throw caution to the winds and gobble the guy up . Why ? Because she chooses and can !! |
|
|
|
|
