37 and single for 20 years. tried so many ways over the years to even get a date and failed every time. at that point in my life where it almost feels easier to just give up. I must have something wrong with me if I never got a yes in all that time. Feel a bit like a loser. Advice? Thoughts?

Never stop trying. But maybe change your tactics. It might be your approach, your choice of women. There are alot of variables to consider. For example, if you don’t know the woman and ask her out, she might be shy and startled and say no. So get to know her and if you like each other, ask again. Alot of women like to be wooed. Shown that you have a genuine interest in them and not just want to date them so that you’re no longer alone. It’s not easy being single and it is tough to find someone that is on the same wavelength as you. But I think you will find a woman that sees who you really are and wants to be with you. It’s just tough to find in a sea a phonies.

Broaden your search, maybe by joining a club where you have an interest, or evening classes to learn something new. Meeting more people will certainly increase your chance of finding someone. Good luck in your search, stay positive and you are sure to find someone.

Men attracts Woman and Woman attracts Men ! If marriage is your destiny then the right one [IS] present somewhere ..
Dont ever say you are a looser . If you want to be a Winner hang around with a Right Winner . Good Luck from Me TO You..!!!!!!!!!

Reading some of that does help me feel less bad about myself. Gonna take a lot of work to not feel like a loser, but I'll keep working at it and trying. luck is definitely not one of my traits so all I can do is keep on moving.

You not a loser because you have not had a date in 20 yrs. I am sure there are others that have not including some Women for what ever Reason. Most people have expectations of a date that Never develop.
Maybe you need to Rethink where you try to meet a Young woman and then do something different. Never put All your confidence in ONLINE meets. It Often fails for Many people! Go where there are events you like and think Postive on finding a relationship.

I am an Older Lady
I do not know any Men that have not ever had a date by 40. Do not give up!!!

I have Dated Nice Men But not on Internet.
And had 3 Proposals of marriage since my Divorce Yrs. ago. I declined.

All positive responses, nobody holding any accountability from him.

I'll address the elephant in the room....

Lower your standards. There's obviously something unattractive about you. Whether it be your approach, your lifestyle, your demeanor, or the quality of women you feel you deserve. There IS something and you know this because you feel it's wrong or unusual about being single for 20 years - which suggests that it wasn't intentional, and not from a lack of trying.

There is a woman out there for you, you hafta remember - get what you give.

"Alot of women like to be wooed."
Traditionally yes, but theres been a wave change since I was single inbetween my 2 -22 year ltr's.

It seems more of a fit and settling with their current circumstances to benefit both.
Im noticing relationships benefit both parties financially and situationally more nowdays than chemistry. Its a sign of the times, and its not getting better.

That's arguing for your limitations.

These days there are a lot of women who are too much in their masculine energy, mostly due to societal demands. It became a habit to survive and sustain oneself in a man's world.
These women may have a tendency to reject anything that's chivalrous as that doesn't gel with the masculine energy that has become their normal.

In the same sense you also have men that are overly feminine, too much in feminine energy. These can be the "I'm such a good guy but nobody wants me?!!" men. They're too soft, their masculine side not developed enough.

All that is a side-effect of changing society, from imbalanced masculine dominated to equal. We're not there yet so where in a phase of chaos.


That does, however, not mean that women don't want to be wooed. Many women do and actually need that in order to develop feelings for a man and thus to fall in love.
It's the natural order of things, deep down -underneath the temporary societal stuff- these dynamics are still strong-wired in the brains of both sexes.
As in, men need to hunt = pursue and woo, women need to be conquered and wooed.

Depending on how much a man or woman is 'stuck' in the resp. overdose of feminine or masculine energy kinda defines how they tick.

Most important is to figure out for yourself how you work. What feels right and good for you when it comes to finding and pursuing a woman.
Go with that.
When you do you will also attract the women who match that.
When you don't and try to do it a way that isn't really "you", you attract women that aren't really what you want.

Oh and what you said "it's about financial benefits"...

You tend to get that when people are in survival mode because they cannot make ends meet.
It's survival instinct, nothing much people can do about that.
It's what easily happens in a country without a decent social security system: well-fare, unemployment benefit, pension, paid sick leave etc. but also decent holiday time per year, healthcare and so on.
In a country like the US where it takes forever to even get a week holiday per year people must be running on fumes.

That doesn't help, will have and keep people in fight, flight, freeze --> constant stress, fear of lack, fear of losing the (crap) job you have and so on.

People living like that likely won't be relaxed when dating either. Emphasis will shift from looking for that one great partner to what you said: financial and situational security.

Dear
be positive and Sincere Soon you will get your Life full of love