My fiance and I broke up after 3yrs recently. I raised her 3yr old son to be my own. She makes him call me and say he misses me but i know its best that i stay away right now.I understand that our relationship is done and that stuff would not be able to work anymore but the heart ache still lingers. Ive tried everything...being xtra busy at work...talking to someone...working out...other girls...nuthin seems to work to make me feel better. Any ideas?

cease all communications with her ,and her child,and move on.............

Time heals all wounds, trust me on that one.
And nothing hurts more then a broken heart.

yea i agree w/ semiloco

i took up comming here and talking to friends. i too am going through this.my daughter is 6. i have been dealing with it for 2 years now.john

it will all take time. its gonna hurt for awhile, but with time it will heal. you can stay busy, but its just gonna put it all in the back of your head until you have time to chill out. if you deal with it up front it might not take as long to heal.

wow, dont stop talking to her son. If her son honestly and truthfully misses you. DO NOT stop talking to him. You are probably the only man that has seemed like a father figure in that childs life. If you stop talking to him, he will grow to think that his "father figure" stopped talking to him because it was something he did wrong. The worst thing you can do it stop talking to the child. As for the ex finacee. Only talk to her when you have to. Just reassure her that you are seeing someone else, but you still want to be a part of the childs life. If she can't accept that, there isnt much more you can do. If she sees the way that child looks up to you, and sees you as a father figure, she should find a way to open her heart and let you be there for him.

=] good luck!!

It would be nice if there was a magical way to get over everything but there's not. Friends are invaluable at times like this. When you're feeling down just call someone you're close to and talk about it. Generally speaking, good friends won't steer you wrong because they probably know you just as well as you do. (but they're not confused by your emotions)

first i'm sorry to hear about ur break-up but time really is a big healer!! also i'd like to say i totally agree with ibelive- u can't mess with kids minds, it's not fair on the child, but i know how hard it is for u right now and i feel for u totally good luck! xxxx

This is why all us needs a "DELETE" button in our lives.

no contact!

Dude I'm in the same position as you are. Unfortunately I cannot yet move out and have to deal with her seeing others while I feel like throwing up day after day. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I have heard that time cures all. Good luck.

dont torture yourself, leave. Thats just disrespectful. You deserve more than that. I d rather live in an alley.

I couldn't agree more, go to a halfway house or something but get the hell out now.

Two of the truest statements ever made. Remember these, and know that things will get better.

hello j..kolhauszer here.

i was once in a relationship not unlike yours,in my case jackie had three children all from a previous marriage,and let me tell you that it wasnt long before we met that i vowed to myself never to be in a long lasting relationship,especially with a woman who had three kids..but i soon fell in love with the whole idea.
not just the children but i fell in love with being a family man.
money for us wan never a problem but i remember doing hours of overtime just so that we could have enough money left over after the bills were paid,just so that we could do things as a family unit..there was so many wonderful times for us...

and then it happened,we broke up.
it is now 4 years later and believe me i still think about amanda,justin,and brandon everyday.

but it all boiled down to the simple fact that these children were not mine,and i had no choice but to distance myself from them.
i can see that you are a good man because of the fact that you spoke about the child,and i'm sure that he misses you very much,as you miss him.distance yourself from the past and maybe find yourself someone who will bare your own child and start new.

got a feeling that you're a great dad...

take care

no-one lives forever

Thanks everybody for your input! I guess im not the only one that has this problem in this crazy world of ours. The no contact thing was going well until her and her new man got in a fight, then its back to me cuz she knows I love her. Im glad i dont have to stay in the same house with her...I know that if that was the case someone would be going to jail. Again thanks for all the input!

Her child has NOTHING to do with the relationship you had with his mother..if YOU are the only "father figure" that the child has there needs to be some way you can still be around for the kid without seeing the mother..DONT make a child suffer over adult mistakes.

Time heals all wounds is correct, just the amount of time it takes for healing can be soooooo long when going through it. Just keep to what you think is best and keep yourself busy. I do not recommend another relationship as you are not emotionally ready for someone elses stuff but just keep yourself busy. One day you will be outside and you will breath deeply and you will realize the pain in your heart is less. It will come, just give it the time.