My wife up and left with no reasons , no heads up, nothing,4 years ago, she was my rock, my best friend, I never though i would heal when people said it, but you will heal, theres someone better out there. stay possitive

sorry x-wife

Timne is all it takes....in time the pain will all go away

FROM EXPERIENCE I CAN TELL U ONLY TIME WILL FIX IT.BUT IT WILL HAPPEN, UNTIL THEN KEEP BUSY BUT AVOID MOVING TO FAST INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP.GOOD LUCK

"time" for you to meet me????????

I agree about not just cutting off contact with the kid, but yeah, I'd avoid talking to her. I'm not going to say time heals all wounds, because I have several wounds that are still unhealed. But it gets better. Continue trying to keep busy and all that and one day it won't hurt nearly as bad. Good luck. :)

could not agree more!!

You have to do what's best for you. When I broke up with my ex fiance', my son was attached to her. It was MY responsibility to help my son feel better. And in that case, she's the one who broke up with me. She chose to leave you dude. While I feel bad for her child, the same as I felt bad for my son... She needs to be the one who helps him. Incidently, my ex fiance also had a son. I really missed the kid for a long time. I was that kid's father too. But he was okay without me. And her child will be okay without you as well.

^^^ hmmmm .. good advise

WOW!!! Listen to me. and listen to the girls on this page. DO NOT LISTEN TO THE GUYS. Yeah i'm going to say something now, that might qualify as a hit below the belt. You guys that are telling him to stop talking and no contact ARE STUPID! and now you wonder why you don't have a significant other anymore. THis guy i can tell is caring. and I have a feeling that little boy means the world to him. YOU CAN'T SCREW WITH KIDS. when they are growing up it is prime time for them to be meeting people and remembering faces. if there was to be no more contact, this kid would be crushed, and grow up the same way i did. hating men. i never had a father, i had one guy in my life when i was little and he up and left and he wasnt even my biological father. Now, i hate men, i do. i feel as if that I did something wrong for the guy to leave. and i would do anything to have a father figure in my life. so the "losers" out there who dont know **** about relationships. do as ALL a favor, and go live in an alley, away from any kind of internet =]

K thanks!!

-L

i have been going through something as similar i met up with a woman and i too quickly became father to her three kids considering her ex was a crack head who never spent a dime on them i worked any and every job to support them and get them the things they needed not soon after we had a son together so there were 4 children the youngest daughter was 3 months when i started taking care of her and i am the only one that she has known as a father ..i cant stand my ex but i still keep in contact with my little girl who will be 18 in february ..just because you dont get along with the ex you can still be a father figure to the little boy im not saying its going to be easy especially if your ex takes up with some lame ass ..when me and my ex split up i took my son with me and we moved away ..my ex well who cares but i still talk to my little girl and she still calls me dad ..my father left my mother sister and myself after the viet nam war i was 8 as a young boy i never had any one to talk to as a father figure it has impacted my whole life ..you should still try to be some kind of role model to this little boy ..he loves you and thats all that little heart knows ..

Well said tombraider

I agree that you can't mess with kids. I mean it's tough on them, and of course you don't want to hurt them. But kids are a lot tougher than a lot of people give them credit for. I was just like a dad to my ex's kid. But the last time I talked to her, she said he never even talks about me anymore.

I respect that the guy wants to do the right thing. I do to. Just because I'm presenting the other side of the argument doesn't mean I'm a jerk. It doesn't mean I'm heartless or don't care about the kid's feelings. What I'm saying is that meeting your girlfriend's/boyfriend's child, and forming a relationship with them does not mean that you will necessarily be in that child's life forever. Being single right now, I will have to take that into consideration before I let my next girlfriend meet my son too.

For all you ladies, say the guy dumps you and starts dating another woman. You want him back and have that relationship with the guy's kid. You have to see him dating this girl and whatever...

I was really great to my ex's son. And honestly... I do kind of miss him sometimes. I'll hear a song on the radio that he loved, and think of him, the same as I would about an ex girlfriend. But me calling there to talk with him is just a dumb idea. It's dumb for me, it's dumb for my ex, and in the end, it will be easier for her son to forget about me and move on, if I'm not constantly talking with him.

Just my opinion. I respect others, but I think this might be a "you have to be in the situation", and "every situation is different."

OK Doctor Phil the freaking expert on life has spoken, I came from a broken and even though as a child it might have hurt somewhat the pain of seeing him and reminding that poor child about him is going to be much worse then a clean break. Think about this the woman brings home a new man and the child is still hoping for this other guy to come back. dude walk away completely it will be best for that child in the long run.

Don't let her use the kid as a 'pawn' to 'toy' with you. Be realistc, if it's not going to work...move on. If the kids is not really 'yours', there will never be a long lasting tie there anyway.

Hang in there man..!!

Thank you I couldn't agree more