This came up by Matthew Hussey, and I thought it was an interesting topic, and important too.

Many women have sex with a new guy without ever talking about it first with the man. That means they don't know if the man has the same reasons and feelings for having sex as she does and which leads to feeling rejected or used or whatever if the man ghosts her after sex.

Most don't talk about it prior because they're scared he'll be off, maybe fear the sense of rejection if he does, and/or they lack confidence to address it as it's a vulnerable conversation to have.
So most end up going with the flow and having sex regardless, thinking & hoping it is as meaningful to him as it is to her.

Condom-use often knows a similar issue. Many women daren't state their boundaries on this, and thus end up having sex without protection.

As such the question:
Have you as a woman addressed this prior to having sex with a man?
If you're not ready or not seeking a hook-up and deep down only want/have sex when it's meaningful to you, do you assume it's the same for the man? OR do you talk to him about it?

And if you're a man, how do you think you'd feel if a woman would address this prior to having sex?

PLEASE KEEP THIS a decent conversation and PG13!!

If you want to watch the clip from Matthew:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7raum5mnM7U&t=289s

If your not going to talk about it then how are either of you going to know what the other thinks or what they desire.

Guilty
I have gone where most feared to go , without talking beforehand about it ... and I gotta report , it was as great in real life as it was in my imagination ..

Anytime I have been single, I welcomed/expected to discuss it or more than likely, at least talk about sex alot as flirting before actually having sex.
I am ashamed to say that when I was married, I remember expecting sex much more than I had sex with my ex. Probably due to lack of communication, so...
I believe that the feelings of fear of rejection or having insecurities isn't a female issue as much as it is whomever in the relationship has the least self esteem, so your topic seems to insinuate these feelings and fears are only on the female side, but could be on either ide in my opinion.
Either way, communication is very important.

I get that for men it can also be difficult or awkward and can make them insecure.

Big difference is though that when having sex women's bodies produce oxytocin which makes them want to bond, have a commitment, and all that comes with it.
This ALSO happens when a woman has NSA sex. It's our biology, not something we can control.

Men on the other hand release testosterone which makes them want to be off after the deed to impregnate other women.
MEN DO NOT BOND THROUGH SEX, WOMEN DO.

That is why NSA is much harder for women and usually only happens when alcohol came into the picture.

As such, what I wrote is far more applicable to women, certainly in the early stages of a new connection.
This is also why it is advised to women to not have sex with a man very early on. Sex CAN work as bonding, add to bonding, for a man but there have to have been other emotionally bonding moments for that to happen. Without those moments a man can have sex and simply walk away, never show up, never call again. Likely even forgot the woman he had sex with exists.
It does NOT work that way for a woman.

Based on all that, I think the moments that a man can feel insecure about having sex with a woman is AFTER there have been emotional bonding moments. So when having sex means something to him other than getting his rocks off.
GEnerally speaking there's loads of men out there that only seek that: getting their rocks off, so as a woman you have to be careful, and sift and sort or get hurt. Or pregnant even as generally speaking a man doesn't have a condom with him or he doesn't want to wear it.

Crystal, that sounds like a bunch of misandry dressed up as pseudo-science.
I don't buy it: it doesn't match the talks I've had with men, nor my experiences with women.

hi

You can disagree, no problem.
Thing is, these are facts based on science, psychology & anatomy, experiences of women and so on.
It's been the way it's been since the existence of mankind and goes all the way back to primeval man and is related to survival of the species and creating the strongest possible offspring so the species does thrive and survive.
If you want to agree with all that, fair enough.

That's how single moms are made ;)

…. oxytocin is released by both sexes and it is just one of a chemical cocktail released during sex . It does not act alone and is reliant on how the brain processes physical and environmental cues . It plays a role not just in romantic connections but social and parental . The presence of Oxytocin does not guarantee bonding ..and it’s effects are not always positive .,

Although women produce more oxytocin in general .. (compared to men) that is also misleading and very much individual . For the hormone to bind and exert its effects it needs receptors .. which can vary person to person . We all have a unique genetic makeup . The stimulus/reason oxytocin is released is also a factor .. for example more is released during child birth /lactation . During sex if a women is not stimulated adequately or does not orgasm then oxytocin release at that time will likely be diminished . Oxytocin release in men is associated with ejaculation/orgasm.


As for casual sex there is a theory that LESS oxytocin is released along with a change in neural pathways . Some Women can and do engage in casual sex. .. likewise some men can and and do bond through sex .

.

Understanding your partner is a great way towards building a healthy relationship, and this involves lots of communication and openness, it's very good for partners to actually talk about sex and to satisfy each other more, rather than keeping quiet and expecting the other person to magically know your deepest desire.

well I was born in the 70s but I 1970 but I have the mentality of a hippie kind of. if I am physically attracted to someone I will make the first move. and it usually ends in us having sex. safe sex but sex nonetheless

In my younger days, didn't talk about sex beforehand with the lady. Just guessed and a mood killer is asking if I need to stop and put a condom on. Fast forward, laying out ground rules beforehand can make the experience more rewarding. Had one lady friend tell me to cut the chase, that she was taking hormones for post-menopause and was horny as all get out and wanted to know if I would just fu.k her brains out. Of course I volunteered to help out a damsel in distress.

Finally, a worthy topic and adequate ideas!
Yes, that's a big trouble for many women and it's roots are deep in their childhood: low self-esteem, inability to set the limits and protect them, stereotypes, lack of proper education and elementary knowledge of their body functions/psychology/STDs.