I've seen a few posts recently from people complaining that they're tired of reading posts from people complaining that they will never find anyone, they will be alone forever, etc.

Do you honestly believe that people on a dating site will never feel disappointment and hurt? Do you honestly believe that it's wrong for them to want to express those feelings? Are they hurting you by being human?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has caught the underlying irony (tinged with hypocrisy) of people whining about other people whining. And yes, I'm taking it to the third level now by whining about the people who whine about the first people whining; but the difference is, I'm sticking up for the first level.

You know what? If you're tired of reading those posts, don't read them. It's really pretty simple.

I think it's disingenuous of some people to sit here and talk about what a "family" we have on JSH, and then jump all over someone who posts something they don't like. What happened to tolerance, to empathy? Have you never felt a need to vent a little, to get some feelings out there?

If this is your idea of "family," I think I'd rather stay in the orphanage.

There are three people whose posts I NEVER read, simply because I know they will never post anything BUT whines. But I'm not going to tell them they shouldn't post; I'm just going to ignore them.

What makes anybody think that this site exists solely for them, that it should be run the way they want it to be run? This site is for everybody. The sooner some people lose this self-absorbed "entitlement attitude," the better.

Very well said, Lex. I think the people that complain about other's complaining are those who are just here for amusement, and are not really looking to actually meet anyone. At least that is my impression. So they, therefore, cannot understand a person who is wanting to know why they have no luck.

It is one thing to complain about lonliness or being alone... but quite another to draw so much attention to it that it demands it's own thread. It isn't that people are expressing their feelings, it's that there are SO MANY people creating threads about it. If there were 1 or 2 threads to vent it out, ok... but it seems like every other post is about someone being excessively lonely.

People on a dating site... people in general... don't matter... WE ALL FEEL HOPELESS AND LONELY AT TIMES. But there are different ways to deal with it... and creating a thread simply to draw attention to yourself is NOT very tactful.

Amen!!!!

Oh and I meant Amen to Lex not the post below!!!!

I'M GLAD YOU STARTED THIS FORUM. ITS SO TRUE.

Well suspend me now Lex, because when someone takes up space to do nothing but complain, I will suggest to them alternative methods of looking at things.

Even rather bluntly.

As this is now an International Site, surely if not being personally derogative, then being blunt and saying get a clue is not as unusual as it appears.

Australians as a rule dont hand ring, and whine and moan woe is me.... we suck it up and get on with it.

And yes it does irritate the crap out of me to see 97 ooo threads all bemoaning the excuses the OP comes up with as to why they haven't been inundated with people desperate to partner them.

Yes it's a dating site... lets just make every thread in every category a place to get pity, or do some exotic thing to the person above us, shall we?

The site's IQ has dropped tremendously in the past six months,,,, sad but true... I joined for intellectual stimulation, for a laugh in a light hearted manner, to debate politics, and religion, to share a sense of human empathy, and to extend my world a little from geographic isolation...

SO, shall I shut up, and say nothing?

Nope.

Will it end in me being banned? Possibly.. I choose not to allow the calibre of this site slide aided into the muck.

Do I have a right?

Nope.

DO I care?

Nope.

I am being true to me, Lex.

Political correctness is not equal to respect....it's the bastard child of fear and money.

So it's OK for the first couple people to do it, but no one else should be allowed to do it after them. So, how do you determine which two get to talk about their feelings today, and which two get to do it tomorrow?

It's all a bit -- dictatorial, isn't it?

Maybe there really are a lot of lonely people here. So we should muzzle them, because it's uncomfortable or inconvenient for us to deal with their feelings?

Sorry, I don't buy it. I find that mindset incomprehensibly insensitive. We're supposed to be helping each other. Telling people "shut up, I don't want to hear what you have to say"
does not strike me as being particularly helpful.

Again, if you don't want to read those posts, don't read them. But don't try to take away someone's right to communicate their feelings. You wouldn't want someone trying to do that to you, would you?

If YOU break down the true WALLS in all of US.
You would see and hear.
That men and women BOTH are about equal in THEIR relationship struggles and the SAME AMOUNT of BOTH will PLAY, LIE, CHEAT, Be TRUE, Fight, love, and have Honesty....
So to me THEIR is NO difference in men and women as far as personalities goes, we both have them all..

But some women and some men, because of their lifes disapointments, WANT-TO blame the SEX that hurt THEM!!!

WOW!!! Lex you are good...

Who else could go for some flapjacks right about now??

I know one Australian who doesn't suck it up and get on with it!!! He would rather throw punches at someone (Russell Crowe). Kinda like what you are doing verbally...

And your point?

SO I don't agree?

I didn't see fine print stating only applause allowed.

No Lex... a billion threads about the same crap suck- whether they are "hottest JSH person"... "I'm so lonely my dog won't play with me" or "Is there one man/woman that doesn't blah blah blah"...

The point is 1 thread...or 1 section... we have a section distinguished for regions, one for general, one for religion... etc... maybe the site needs a section for the pity seekers...

All I'm saying is that life doesn't change by saying, it changes by doing...

No we get your point Jess you just don't care. You said so.. It's a shame!!!!

I didn't see a request for a tiny violin. Everyone should be entitled to their opinion, whether the masses agree or not.

DO I care, I will state the truth?

Nope, Do I care I may get banned? Nope....read it again... and is that the Royal 'we', or are you the elected spokesperson for all?

Im sorry Lex......maybe Ive been here too long but ya everyone has a bad day and after awhile.......every time I see a whiney crying wimp or wimpette I wanna scream!!!!

I do understand that sometimes we need to vent but if I hear another why dont men love me why dont women love me blablblablablaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I want to grab that person and do the old faceplant in the toilet routine........

Jess -- I would make a distinction between your policy of "I will suggest to them alternative methods of looking at things.
Even rather bluntly" and censoring.

It's two different things. "Here's another option you may not have thought of" is not the same as "shut up, I don't want to hear anything you have to say."

I'm not looking for applause -- I'm just trying to say there's another side to this situation; and when I see people blindly jumping on the "let's shut all them there complainers up" bandwagon, it makes me wonder where their hearts are.

The thing that bothers me is when I see a 19 y/o complain that they will be alone.

It really is somewhat pathetic at that age to be complaining just because they had a breakup.

They need to be realistic with their thoughts before they place them on the site such as saying, "Will I always be alone?".

It is not a very constructive forum really. Constructive would be to find out what was right or wrong about the relationship and really get into it.

This shallow stuff is the Problem with people.... Not paying attention.... ie.... my ex gl didn't pay full attention and is like that. Won't bone up to the real issues.

J