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| Topic: Disingenuous | |
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No we get your point Jess you just don't care. You said so.. It's a shame!!!! It's a shame that people can't have respect for the opinions of others even when they don't agree. |
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No we get your point Jess you just don't care. You said so.. It's a shame!!!! Actually Jess does care. If you read what she said the 'I don't care' is regarding being suspended for giving her opinion. |
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This is true. But everyone and I mean everyone does go through a grieving period and we all deal with it differently. Some people maybe want sympathy, and others may want to be by themselves. It takes time and we need to let them vent when and where they want, if it helps them. You may grieve in a different way (obviously)... And however you grieve no one should complain about that... They aren't hurting anyone. Have a little compassion.
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So that's a no on the flapjacks?
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Good thread Lex, and I agree with you.
I have been on here a long time and the only point I would add is that some of the posts I have seen with people complaining are people who are new to the site. I don't know what they expected when they signed up, but it is not exactly a "drive-through" dating service, "pull up to the window and place your order" but we do seem to live in a world where people want instant gratification. Sorry folks, very few will find it on a dating site, any site, just as in real life with your chance of running into your perfect mate walking down the street. It takes time to meet people, talk to them, get to really know them and so on. I think what has surprised me about many of these threads is that many of them are posted by people who are new here. I have even posted to some of them and told them to be patient and post more so people get to know them and give the site a chance. But you are right about not reading the threads that bother you, we all have the right to avoid threads that annoy us or about topics we choose not to talk about. We are adults after all. I guess I would also tell them to relax and enjoy making friends with the people on here, there are lots of good people here and enjoy their friends, who knows, one of their friends may turn out to be the person they are looking for in the long run. |
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Jace I'll have some flapjacks with extra butter.....
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All I'm saying is that life doesn't change by saying, it changes by doing... I have to voice my agreement for Singing on this point. I would like to believe that I seldom whine. Even when I do, however, I try to identify a SPECIFIC problem and to formulate a question about solving that problem. I know that some people feel very close to JSH as a family or a community. To be perfectly honest, I don't. In my opinion, a web forum lacks the necessary intimacy for that. While I might complain without focus to a close friend, I try to avoid doing so at a place like this for a couple of reasons. One, as Singing has pointed out, it's kind of annoying. Two, it doesn't help anybody. If I'm willing to post my complaint to random acquaintances on the internet, I may as well go to a little bit more trouble and couch the complaint in a way that actually promotes discussion and results in useful advice. |
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Good thread Lex, and I agree with you. I have been on here a long time and the only point I would add is that some of the posts I have seen with people complaining are people who are new to the site. I don't know what they expected when they signed up, but it is not exactly a "drive-through" dating service, "pull up to the window and place your order" but we do seem to live in a world where people want instant gratification. Sorry folks, very few will find it on a dating site, any site, just as in real life with your chance of running into your perfect mate walking down the street. It takes time to meet people, talk to them, get to really know them and so on. I think what has surprised me about many of these threads is that many of them are posted by people who are new here. I have even posted to some of them and told them to be patient and post more so people get to know them and give the site a chance. But you are right about not reading the threads that bother you, we all have the right to avoid threads that annoy us or about topics we choose not to talk about. We are adults after all. I guess I would also tell them to relax and enjoy making friends with the people on here, there are lots of good people here and enjoy their friends, who knows, one of their friends may turn out to be the person they are looking for in the long run.  Well said Marie
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I don't like Hip Hop music. So I stay out of the clubs.
I don't care much for Oriental food. So I don't go to those restaurants. I'm not a drinker or a partier so I don't hang out at the bar. There's not a sitcom made that I can stomach so I don't turn on the TV. I have no patience for childish whiners bawling for pity or desperate for attention. I cannot help the emotionally scarred who don't know how to (or don't want to) escape their prison of guilt or shame or whatever hurt they're feeling. So I ignore those posts and go on with my life. Anyone getting all worked up about any posting of that sort and making frenzied posts of their own trying to fix someone else's life belongs in the psychiatric clinic right next to the original poster. Encourage and support when and where you are able. Leave the rest up to others and to God. |
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 Sorry, I don't buy it. I find that mindset incomprehensibly insensitive. We're supposed to be helping each other. Telling people "shut up, I don't want to hear what you have to say" does not strike me as being particularly helpful. Hey Lex, would YOU NOT say that someones drama was important at times for others to be aware of? But, THIS SITE has a NO DRAMA RULE, in other words, SHUT UP WE (the site) don't want to hear it! If a guy and girl here get together and one turns out to be HURTFUL,, I mean A slap or smack, or grab,,, PERSONALLY,,,,"I WANT TO KNOW THAT"!!! If the lady tries to burn the guys house down, I WANT TO KNOW THAT! THIS SITE IS DESIGNED TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER. SHOULD NOT THIS SITE BE RESPONSIBLE ALSO TO ALLOW ITS MEMBERS TO TELL OTHERS OF THE "BAD" ONES AS WELL AS THE "GOOD" ONES? I think their should be a post designed just for ALL THE DRAMAS. Let people vent, and let people SHOW the others what they had happen to them. And WE ALL KNOW, that the DRAMAS will happen behind the lines of view, and their in emails the friends will here about it, but ANOTHER VICTIM won't have ANY IDEA, that "THAT" person was capable of doing any harm....  Just my thoughts man.. 
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Jace I'll have some flapjacks with extra butter..... That's one order! Hooray! Coming right up! |
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Edited by
UWannaBSpontaneous
on
Sun 12/30/07 12:26 AM
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Blueberry flapjacks for me! Oh! and Thank You for offering.
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Good thread Lex, and I agree with you. I have been on here a long time and the only point I would add is that some of the posts I have seen with people complaining are people who are new to the site. I don't know what they expected when they signed up, but it is not exactly a "drive-through" dating service, "pull up to the window and place your order" but we do seem to live in a world where people want instant gratification. Sorry folks, very few will find it on a dating site, any site, just as in real life with your chance of running into your perfect mate walking down the street. It takes time to meet people, talk to them, get to really know them and so on. I think what has surprised me about many of these threads is that many of them are posted by people who are new here. I have even posted to some of them and told them to be patient and post more so people get to know them and give the site a chance. But you are right about not reading the threads that bother you, we all have the right to avoid threads that annoy us or about topics we choose not to talk about. We are adults after all. I guess I would also tell them to relax and enjoy making friends with the people on here, there are lots of good people here and enjoy their friends, who knows, one of their friends may turn out to be the person they are looking for in the long run. |
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The thing that bothers me is when I see a 19 y/o complain that they will be alone. I remember being 19 and getting dumped; it really DID feel like the end of the world. I'm not going to minimize someone's feelings just because they are younger or have less experience with relationships than I have. From that person's perspective, all that stuff is totally irrelevant. All they know is that they are hurting, and maybe they could use a little advice or a friendly and sympathetic ear. |
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Blueberry flapjacks for me! Oh! and Thank You for offering. Blueberry coming right up. (This is gonna be messy..LoL) |
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Jace I am starving, make it a full order pleeeeeease!!!
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Here here. I like the thought of having a "Drama Forum". This will separate the pathetic from the real issues in relationships.
I'll help clean up Jace. Here let me get that pan out for you. |
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And your point? SO I don't agree? I didn't see fine print stating only applause allowed. Jess -- I would make a distinction between your policy of "I will suggest to them alternative methods of looking at things. Even rather bluntly" and censoring. It's two different things. "Here's another option you may not have thought of" is not the same as "shut up, I don't want to hear anything you have to say." I'm not looking for applause -- I'm just trying to say there's another side to this situation; and when I see people blindly jumping on the "let's shut all them there complainers up" bandwagon, it makes me wonder where their hearts are. Lex, if a person posts a thread stating Am I ugly, because ALL women hate me... Where is the space for empathy? Where is the space for compassion? And that is the 934 unintelligible thread for the day...ignore it? Come on.... so where do you suggest I go? Down to miscellaneous, where a simple vegetarian vegan thread got trashed? Yep sure...How about I hang out in bug reports? No one rarely goes there... The number of quality threads generated get trashed into oblivion within minutes. |
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Hey Lex, would YOU NOT say that someones drama was important at times for others to be aware of? But, THIS SITE has a NO DRAMA RULE, in other words, SHUT UP WE (the site) don't want to hear it! Terry -- Yeah I do see the importance of being aware. We do have a rule about "pity or attention-seeking" threads, but it's a little vague to me, and I would much rather err on the side of giving the poster the benefit of the doubt. But as I said earlier, there are only a handful of posters who I could honestly say never post ANYTHING put pity/attention-seeking threads. And I personally don't want to read anything they have to say -- so I don't. But I would never try to stop them from posting. Nothing gives me that right. |
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Going out on a limb and nominating this for Thread Of The Day right now. Good stuff, and a well-spoken discussion with just the right amount of the-world-is-not-ending insight and humor.
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