And don't forget the flapjacks Jace!!!!

LMAO! Right-o!

Good point Terry, but how do you know what someone is posting about another member is true and not just vindictive lies trying to destroy their reputation. We have no way of knowing if someone comes on and said they met "so and so" and she tried to burn his house down. We have no proof of that. The man reporting it could be a compulsive liar, he could be an abusive man who actually hurt her and went on the offensive to destroy her reputation before she could tell anyone about his abusiveness.

That is the reason I am sure the Admins. want to keep people from posting about other members off the forums. I could post lies about you or you could post lies about me, nobody would know who was telling the truth, but it would hurt both of us.

_______________________
I also like Jess and think she is honest and has a good heart and does not go after people to hurt them, but will defend someone if she see them being attacked. I agree with her idea of giving the poster an alternative idea, if she knows of one, to resolve their issue. I think some people here may have misinterpreted what she posted.

I happen to like the site. I have made incredible friends from all over the country. When I think about it, I have lived in my town since 2003, and the friends I have made in the year I have been on here I am closer with than anyone local, and my friends on here stretch from Pennsylvania, to Virginia, Indiana, Oregon, Canada, Texas, California, Illinois, etc. What did we do before the net??

And, you guys with your talk about flapjacks are making me hungry!!

Does it help to jump on the "bash the guy" bandwagon? If you have something helpful or constructive to say, then, by all means, do so. But just to be the 37th person to put the guy down -- who does that help?

Empathy and compassion come from within, they are not generated by an external source such as a post on a dating site forum. Either it's in you or it isn't. There will be varying degrees of these, depending on your mood, etc., but the bottom line is that you still don't have to read the posts that are only going to annoy you anyway.



It's not my place to tell you where to go. Go wherever you want. The only thing I can "suggest" is a little respect and tolerance for others when you get there. And I'm not pointing a finger at you, individually -- I'm using "you" in the generic plural all-inclusive sense.

Oh Lex, Pleeeeease stop whiiiinning about the people who are whiiiining about the people who are whining. There, I've done my whining. I actually totally agree with you, I just wanted to take it to the next level. Now we have whined about the people who have whined about the people who have whined about the people who have whined. I pass the baton to whoever would like to whine about me.

That is the reason I am sure the Admins. want to keep people from posting about other members off the forums. I could post lies about you or you could post lies about me, nobody would know who was telling the truth, but it would hurt both of us.

Marie, I don't like to see, feel sorry for me threads or How good looking am I ?
But to ALLOW EVERYBODY to bost about how GREAT their MATE is and on and on,,,,THATS OK!!!!
BUT two months down the road they break up, and come on post to try and explain what happen,,,,SHUT UP OR POST WILL BE BANNED, NO BAD DRAMA,,,,
WE ONLY EXCEPT "ALL" THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE AND "NO" BAD!!!!

To me THATS JUST WRONG, one sided and if we here how someones GOOD is or was ,,,THEY EXCEPT THAT!
But any ,,,,ANY,,,,,"ANY" kind of a small problem,,,,POST BANNED,,or PULLED,,,

Jace -- One of the things I love about this place is that we ARE able to take a topic like this and thrash it all over the place and still be friends when it's all been strewn all over the room!

Frankly, I wouldn't feel comfortable raising a topic like this one (or a lot of the other ones I've raised in the past year) on any other site.

No, that's fine Lex, I asked the question...

thankyou.



May I also point out that when taking a humorous sarcastic look at people's profiles, even the tape dispenser threads, all of the dry humoured posts and threads, regarding people's profiles, are also a more subtle passive aggressive form of the same thing you are asking of others not to do?

Ridicule is ridicule...as is straight out rudeness.

I am happy to comply to the forum rules, and will not be personally derogatory to others... HOWEVER, even considering having an opposing opinion appears to now be a frowned upon thing too.

As to empathy and compassion, I know full well they are internal, thanks for the reminder....

I shall attempt to dig deeper for the next four hundred years of"People are all losers, and no damned good threads", by posters.

Does Jess tell people to stop whining?..........YES

She will usually also give them options on how to change the situation. There are very few here that not 'jumped' on a thread where someone was whining just to tell them to shut up.
I have noted though that a lot of these threads are started by those who are angry about lack of responses to their messages. Is it possible that the problem may lie in the way the messages they send are phrased? Or that they are people who don't post a lot and that people haven't gotten a chance to see what they're like, except for the complaining.
But then what do I know.

N -- In theory, this could become an infinite progression....!

Except that this will undoubtedly metamorphose into "Would you whine about the person above you?" and get moved to Sex & Dating....

There really is a supportive "core" of people on here and for those who seek real advice and help, they go down to the Misc. Help & Advice section. There is a depression support thread there that runs continuous. Other people post issues asking for advice whether it be about physical issues, depression, or other life issues, i.e., cancer family member support, etc. I have NOT seen any bashing or put downs go on in the depression thread or the other support threads, everyone in those threads is super supportive of everyone who goes there, kind of like a sanctuary on here, and they have become something of a family in there. Maybe that is what some of the other threads are missing, a sense of true caring and support.

I have personally been surprised and upset over the bashing and fighting that goes on in the threads, some of the attacks have appalled me, and they have been over ridiculous or assumed things. How can someone attack someone over something they "think" about the other person. They are talking to a computer screen for God's sake, they can't prove their point, so I think the attacks are out of line and unwarranted. Some people I do believe come on here just to make trouble and they do tend to get banned eventually.

Jess, it's not the same thing. My satire posts are NEVER aimed at any individual -- they may target a certain TYPE of post, a certain GENRE of poster, but there are never names named.

When someone is rude or abusive to a poster in a thread, that IS targeting a specific individual.

possibly the best post yet. it bears repeating.
and i love jess' posts. i have seen her being honest with ppl and then getting attacked herself for not having enough compassion. if the ppl attacking actually listened to her advice, they would see that it makes sense.

(jess, not saying you're a saint though. )

Jess and Marie, I think their are few GOOD posts because the age of poster's has gotten younger and their topic's are not interesting as much to us BECAUSE WE are not trying to hook-up just for sex. lol
WE find long reading and interesting COOL, and THEY find ACTING and LOOKING HOT as COOL THINGS.

Some posts I don't even wonder into because there to nasty for me,lol, well, to discusting to TRY to anwser in...lol.

We have not tried to show them by example much???
This threads good and some are But WE as a WHOLE do not TRY TO LEAD , so they have a clue to WHAT WE LIKE FROM THEM, to read..

THIS SITE is what WE ALL ALLOW IT TO BECOME,,or NOT TO BECOME...

Start making the POSTS YOU WANT TO SEE and READ...

Start to NOT post in threads that are TASTE-LESS, or FOWL.

Just some thoughts...

I agree, however, in the past few months any posts of remote intellect disappear, with few posts made.... obviously not relevant to the time frames that posters who prefer light banter are on at.

Lex, I may see things a little differently, however, the very essence of your thread is with a desire to make this a more pleasurable site FOR ALL...


I got it, I just had to whine, about the whine, about the whiners whining about the whiners.

No problem -- you and I may disagree on the occasional point, but you've always been one of my must-reads here.

And you're absolutely right -- the bottom line is to make this a better site for everybody.

Except for those TPAY lowlifes....

Jess, will YOU PLEASE, stop whining,,,,,shezzzzzzzz


Now go punch Lex in his big toe and me in my little toe,,,lol

Now that the whining is done can we get to the dining?



Was that red or white whine?

Mmmmmmmm, not sure Karma, which goes best with the flapjacks Jace was offering a few posts back??

Hope you have a good night. Take care.