im just wondering why nice guys finish last. i got out of a bad relationship that lasted 5 years. and im geting back into the dating scene. i met this girl and she had just got out of an abusive relationship. we were seeing each other for about 5 months. and i thought everything was going good. when one day she said she didnt want a "nice guy". shes now dating another abusive man. i asked her if she was happy where she was and she said she was. i dont get it. its mind blowing how how someone can have the **** kicked out of them or be the one doing the kicking and "be happy with it" if yall can give me some insite. i would appreciate it.

nice guys finish first! bad = no good = yes!

i wish someone would show me that maja.

they will just don't start hittin' no matter how tempting turning to the dark side is STAY!

she got a serious problem......usaully they dont go looking for the guy thats gonna beat them up it just ends up that way all the time cuz u always go for the same type of guy cuz of some situation when ur growing up....but she straight out said she dont want a nice guy right?...so she just hates herself...and enjoys pain

i myself will never hit a woman. theres nothing in this world that a woman can do to even make me think about hitting her. this is the 3rd time this has happened to me. weather it be "i dont want a nice guy, or your to nice, one actully asked me to hit her once in a while.

one actually asked me to hit her once in a while. WHOA! WHAT KIND PERSON SAYS THAT! i know what it's like and personally i never went looking for the same type of guy, it's like common sense, oh i date him i can't wait until he bashes my head in yes! i always wanted man like that! i want a nice guy one that doesn't treat women like a dog, if you think hitting is okay, and abuse you have NOOO respect for that other person

why cant a woman like you live near me.

oh believe me you will find someone just don't ever change who you are find someone worth your affection

It's funny- I was talking to my friend about this last night. I don't know what it is about girls that make many (but not all) of us want the bad guys. And on the flip side, guys tend to go for girls that will treat them like crap.

I have yet to figure it out. But don't give up looking, the right girl will come into your life at the right time and you'll be glad things worked out the way they did.

Sometime when a person is being abused, they feel its their falt and want to make it better.

Other times the abuse think they can change the abuser and make them nice because they need fixing.

So my wife cheated and left me for an abusive man because I'm selfish and I have no interest in the "mechanized dating scene"

You are so right. I mean you do all the right things-open the doors, go to the nice resturants, pay the bill, tip well,pay her compliments just overall be sweet it just seems no matter what you do something always happens- good women are attracted to disfunctional people and relationships. The better I treat a woman the faster she is gonna leave. What gives ladies? I would love to know. Now I will say that when you find a crazy(and they are out there) those are the ones you cant get rid of. I don't know I guess Im cursed.

I can't answer your question but for sure, nice guys do finish last!! Being nice allows you to be used, used, and re-used until you have nothing left to give and then you get dumped for somebody else. Where are the 'nice' girls?....or at least the ones who are happy to have a nice guy for a partner.
Like you, I have been burned before and can't understand it!

i feel you man!!!!! a similar situation happened to me!!! when a girl is used to being treated like crap they dont know how to act when they get a good man!! trust me i was treat women like queens and for some reason they like assholes so i let them get em'!

first of all nice guys finish first but the problem with lots of people they mistake nice guys for ass kissing guys (weak) if your nice and have confidence u always finish first The secret is Confidence :)

I seem to suffer from nice guy syndrome also. My previous ex once asked me why we don't ever fight. I thought that was a ridiculous statement. She said that if we fought that maybe I'd buy her gifts.

In past relationships when I get nice and start buying gifts the women get a big head and quickly take gifts and date others and I get dumped. That's why I didn't buy her gifts without occasion. And no doubt, we go to Vegas together and she gets her new Douney and Bourke purse for her birthday and we break up the following week. As it goes she didn't get me a gift on my birthday the previous month.

I am torn. I am also single and suffering nice guy syndrome. No I can't hit women and nice guy runs them off. Women will always say to be the nice guy so that they can be drained and dumped.

F*** it! Now I'm on this site and still can't meet anybody. It think I give up. I need to find a school for assholes and abusers and then I'd probably have a bevy of babes. Lots of drama and sex.

I have a thing for the bad boys, just not the abusive ones.
I was married to a man who was more the abusive, I couldn't wait to get away from him. I would have given anything to have found a *nice* guy, after my divorce. But I mostly stayed alone, dated on and off, but that was about it.

PMS

Its not the "nice guy fininshing last". In all actuality, you are finishing first. Dont laugh. If a woman will end what you have just because you are too nice or too sweet not "dysfunctional enough on some level, then you have just come out ahead. That kind of woman is not looking for a real loving relationship, its all about the moment for them. The nice guy finishes first on all levels. When you do finally settle down , it will be with the right woman for the right reasons.

Also....maybe there is an issue in what you are doing. Why are you consistantly attracted to women who are looking the wrong way? Maybe rethink what you are attracted too, might need to make some changes there....just a thought.

Good luck everyone.

Youssef nicely put.

He's right. I am who I am.... that is a nice guy. But I'm not weak by any means and I don't let the gl step on me. That's usually when the downfall begins.

You had a gl for 5 years???? So did you finish last in that one? Then you had 5 months and learned she has issues? Did you finish last in that one? Did you know she had issues up front and didn't pay attention.

I have had gl's and wives that I find out have issues that creep up. Not my fault... not my issue.

I think there is a chemistry to these guys that have a rough edge to them... The girls that go this way eventually get tired of it.

It is the same thing as the guys that go out with the wild girls but then they have issues and the guy gets tired of that and leaves for a more, "stable situation".