I was just reading Terry's post about a nasty deception he got caught up in -- and THERE is a wake-up call for everybody -- and I was reminded of a situation I encountered about a year and a half ago.

I signed up on another site around May of 2006; and almost immediately was contacted by someone there who said she liked my profile. She was articulate, obviously intelligent, and had been a regular contributor to a national magazine. As a writer myself, I found this common ground highly appealing. Unfortunately, she lived in another state, but the distance didn't seem to be an insurmountable obstacle.

We started spending more and more time talking on line and on the phone. She actually went so far as to make brownies and cookies and mail them to me. (Good stuff, too!)

A little later, I signed up on a blog/dating site; it looked like fun, and there were a lot of local people there.

Shortly thereafter, I got a message on the blog site from someone in the Chicago suburbs, asking me about one of my blog entries. At the end of the note, she wrote, "By the way, are you seeing anyone right now?"

I thought the question was a little out-of-nowhere, but when I wrote back, I said, "No, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment, and I'm not sure I will want to anytime soon. Relationships always seem to be more trouble than they're worth." And that was pretty much how I felt at the time; I was coming off a bad "burning" (more of a complete incineration, really) and wasn't thinking about another relationship.

Well, it turned out that this girl had signed up with the blog site solely to find out my feelings about the one I had met on the other site. They were friends, and this was their way of setting up a situation where (presumably) I would reveal my true feelings about the first girl.

Which I did -- I didn't see us as anything more than friends, nothing more than friends had even been DISCUSSED up to that point -- and she gave me some grief over it later!

"What do you mean, relationships are more trouble then they're worth?"

I told her I hadn't done anything wrong. I guess she expected me to flirt with the second girl, I don't know; I didn't do that -- frankly, the second one seemed a little shallow to me, anyway -- but all I was looking for at that point was people to talk to.

But her biggest problem with the whole scenario was that I didn't tell the second one that I was romantically interested in the first one. But I WASN'T interested in the first one, at that time, beyond being friends, so why should I say I was?

This is the sort of thing that makes people paranoid about meeting someone on line.

I was just wondering if anyone else had ever been set up like this....?

is this really you Lex or are you trying to trick me into revealing something that you heard about me on a different site?!

No one will play with me Lex!!!

I wasn't set up like that but one time I was on a pay site, had my picture posted as main, one of my ex's friends saw it, told her, and she made me out to be and feel like a online predator.
That's why I don't use my picture as main, if you are interested in my profile then you'll see my picture. You just don't know who's out there, it's a chance that you take when online.

I see no "chance" here. That is my picture and I don't care who sees it. If somebody I know sees it, I am sure they would tell me, as far as ex's, who gives a rats a$$!! LOL


Sue me!!!

Wow Lex..kinda makes me glad I am looking for men and not women. Not that I like to generalize but I can't picture a guy going to those lengths to trick a girl into declaring her feelings..usually they are just looking for money or sex...

As long as you are truthful & open, anything you say is fine.
People playing games to ck. on others have a trust issue.

Set up heck I can't get them to talk to me more than a few days.


But do understand what your saying it does happen but........ friend maybe but doubtful. For most of the time it is the same person not a different one.


Anytime you get questions like that its a red flag. When they get to asking questions on whom you talk to etc,.... think and listen before you answer. Most likely when someone one else is digging about another your talking too red flags should be waving.

I know that you wanted response from people who have been set up like this Lex, but I am responding to the positive side of what hapens when you join a site like this.

I was in a position where I was on AOL for a number of years. I was a member of the local Pitt Chat group and was lucky enough to meet those I talked to at the monthly party that was held in Monroeville. Through that site, and those parties, I made many dear friends, that I still have contact with. Maybe I have just been lucky.


My heart ached for Terry when he told me what happened. I have met Terry he is a great friend, and as true as he shows himself to be on here.

I am lucky enough that I have exchanged phone calls with different people from this site, and soon I will get to meet more of them.


Whether it be online or offline your going to run into people who play those types of games. I have run into those players more offline than online. Life is taking the good with the bad, the sad thing is the bad ones are the ones who seem to win, too many times.


Just be carful, take your time getting to know someone, and never ever be ashamed of stating what you feel is the truth. This way if someone is playing a game they only have themselves to blame.

Oh lex try having tits and looks. You're just plain screwed. I've met the tall, dark, and handsome "yoda". I've met the 30 thousand a year "millionaire". And I'm set and really am finished with idiot deception online dating. The only reason I'm here is to chat with a few of my freinds that are on here. But because I put a couple hot pics on here I'm swamped with replies and "peepers". Its ok. I have a delete button. Maybe I should put a deceptive picture on here. Maybe I should put up a deceptive ad. Obese bisexual woman with herpes and 5 kids seeks love and security. Please send checkbook and housekeys.

not on purpose..... but...on this other dating site i get emailed..says something of the sort of where are your nudies?
well i skimmed since not single at his profile and thought what the heck? when he wrote me that... so i emailed back saying "i dont do nudies...and notice u dont either" that was my email... i didnt look at his pics full sized or study them since im there to chat anyways... so next day my bf uncle comes over... hes a yr older than i... said he emailed me. i said what? of course its in front of my bf... then i recalled email after he said that... well my bf took conrol of his uncles email and made him show him.... i guess i answered wrong? is what im told... i know his uncle was joking and after re reading what he sent he wasnt trying to hide who he was....i thought he was speaking spanish on some of the email lol... but when i end a regular email i always put ..deb or deb ........on this one i was being short cause of the words he had sent and didnt even put my name..... so lex maybe that is simular but not on purpose.....

oh NO you don't!!

gets out little black book and begins taking down facts surrounding the crime. (head down, pencil scratching)

your pics are half nude..... id say u are here for attention not to just chat with your friends...

I was once im'd on another site by a guy who turned out to be letting this girl use his account....She revealed who she was & sent me a picture of herself that looked attractive....so even though she was a 2 and a half hour drive away we talked on the phone for 2-3 hours at a time....after almost 3 months I drove all that way to meet her....she turned out to be about 5'3" and 250 pounds at least....nothing like the picture....and the things that she said on the phone sounded silly in person....and that is why I don't like penpal dating....

I was dating a guy, and he had one of his friends or under a different name, he was grilling me. He asked me if I had a boyfriend, I said yes, do I cheat, I said no, that I was very happy and falling for this guy I was dating. A few days later he broke up with me anyhow, he said it was getting too serious too fast. On his profile he said he was looking for his soulmate and wanted a serious commited relationship. I think he found someone else. lol

Lex... and everybody else too... i'm going to make this real simple...

anyone who goes through those legnths to do anything, find sincerity or otherwise... ain't f***ing worth it anyway!

noone trusts anyone, is it too much to ask for faithfullness and actually EXPECT to get without having to hire a private detective???

i've been cheated on twice... and that doesn't mean i suspect every girl i meet or get serious with to do these things.

in Lex's case, this particular story he described, it never even got that far... which is a good point to cut it off right?



.... People are crazy, and i don't know about the rest of you, i'm looking for someone sane, someone i can trust blindly, and someone i can feel safe secure happy and content with. I may never meet that person, and if i don't then i don't care! Obviously that is the dream for all of us isn't it? isn't it? ...i thought? i dunno but crap i gotta go.... now my mom's over and she's causing holy hell with comcast, sounds like i'm about to lose my internet, i gotta go put a stop to this......

Only4thebest:

Here is a sampling of your posts. If you combine them with your photos, [one of which you are clearly half nude], it seems you're putting out mixed messages. Can you be so obtuse not to see it? Or maybe you're just having fun. Who knows. But just be aware you're coming across, woman to woman, as gamey and hypocritical in your flirtations and statements.

Topic: Meeting a stranger??? Wed 12/26/07 10:43 AM
I'm not looking to meet anyone on here. I'm here for the addictive forums. Says that on my profile. But do you think anyone can read? By the messages I'm getting I think they just look at pictures. Hmmmmm.

Topic: romantic tricks! Wed 12/26/07 10:58 AM
Sunday night a gentleman from this site picked me up to go visit some of his freinds. When we got there he had draft horses hooked up to a sleigh and we went for a romantic sleigh ride in a snowfall. He thought of everything. Thermos full of hot spiced cider, snacks, blankets and heated towels. When he kissed me the snow melted.

Topic: romantic tricks! Wed 12/26/07 11:01 AM
Too bad the butthead won't commit to a relationship.

roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i looked too! and u forgot some!

Hehehe, lets play nice!!!