Have you ever had that? Unexpectedly seeing your ex again, the one that you thought and felt you'd finally met THE one?

A few weeks ago I thought I saw mine, but wasn't sure because of the face mask, but in a way I was sure.
Just now at the information counter of the supermarket, and I see him standing on the other side also waiting for the employee to arrive.
I see the recognition in his eyes and I'm not sure what to do or say. Do I say something at all even?
Then the supermarket manager comes toward him to talk about something and the way that goes I can tell he's been there more often.
Then I'm ready, so I walk past him, still not sure what to do. But I decide to just leave and not say anything either. After all, if he had wanted to see me or talk to me he could've initiated that. He knows where I live.
It did make me nervous as hell though and I quickly cycled home.

Back home, I get these questions. What the F is he doing here in my village? Why come here? He lives on the other side of the country. Is he still with that woman he left me for? WTF is he doing here, did he move to this area?
And then I get angry. Meaning there clearly is some work to do concerning that relationship and what happened in the end.
I can still feel the hurt now, and I'm angry. Angry he looked happy, angry he's here, angry he didn't say anything.
Just GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I had not expected this to ever happen with him as he lives nearly 2 hrs away from me.
And really odd this happens after I got a few voice messages from a crystal seller whose voice and accent was EXACTLY the same as my ex's. How's that for coincidence?

Have you had similar things with similar feelings?
And what did you do?

If I see mine, i ignore her. But she would still pass remarks.

But she is not allowed near my house, and vice versa, as stated in the judicial separation agreement.

Happened to me too.

I bumped into my ex husband a year after we split in the supermarket. It was Valentines Day and I saw he had a bunch of flowers in his basket. If he didn’t have the flowers I would have ignored him but considering it was Valentines Day I made a split second decision to go chat to him. I went up to him and pointed at the flowers in his basket and said “Aw, are those for me? You really shouldn’t have”. Well, you should have seen his face! He blurted out some nonsense like “What? Erm......no, I’m buying them to give to someone so they can give it to someone else”. Yeah right He was very flustered for sure and after being together for almost 40 yrs I could read him like a book. He was lying. I knew he was with someone but he had been denying it all the time.

We chatted about finances and stuff for a few more minutes and then I wished him well and turned to walk away and as I did so he called out “You’re looking really good”. I didn’t turn round but in my head I said “Yep, I’ll take that thank you very much”.

i met my exes husband. we had been broken up almost a year. she had sent me a picture of him and his name when we were trying to be congenial.
he took a job at my work....very tacky in my opinion, 0 respect for a person like that...i think he was looking at my facebook page and didn't have a good job at the time...we are both in the driving career, most bizarre.

Ouch, that is very awkward indeed!

Sounds painful!

Got no exes, all are present

You daredevil, haha.
I don't think I'd have the guts to do something like that!
But better to keep a distance and not get engaged in normal conversation. I know from experience you can too easily slip back into the good vibe, the old rut, and then it's very difficult afterwards as that old rut and vibe has no foundation anymore.
To be honest, I'm glad he was alone both times I've seen him. It clearly still gets to me, even though it's been 3,5 yrs since we broke up.

If that means plural then it can get even more awkward, hihi

I’m a bad girl haha.

I guess I just wanted him to know that I could see he was buying flowers for her when all the time he was denying he was seeing someone when I knew otherwise. As I said, if it wasn’t for the flowers I would have ignored him.

What would you do if your ex has moved to your area? I’m guessing it’ll be awkward if you’re likely to bump into him more often.

My ex and I lived in another county before we split up and I moved 50 miles to be closer to my daughter and grandchildren. My daughter lives a 2 min drive away from me now and my ex moved to the same county as us a week after I moved here! He now lives around a 15 min drive from us but luckily I haven’t bumped into him again but there’s always a chance that we will. Now that we’re divorced, there is nothing I have to say to him so would ignore him if I saw him again. It’s been over 6 yrs now anyway.

I make a point, to not see my ex wife.
Hopefully, she won't see me

oh that reminds me a while ago i thought i saw my ex at a casino....took a closer look, thought it was probably her, walked on by....that was strange too.

I would do what I decided this afternoon: ignore him.
I have nothing to say to him. I'm quite sure we could talk for hours, but then you get in that familiar vibe which will still affect me a little afterwards. It's like stepping back into the relationship while it's gone.
It'd be way more awkward to see him with another woman.

With my other ex it's less awkward. He lives on the island too, that's how I ended up here. But I never see him -knock on wood- but it's easier to play-act with him as I had to do that for 10 yrs to survive (he's a narcissist).
My ex hubbie wouldn't be a problem either.
With both I can see myself doing the same thing with flowers that you did, hihi.
But this one...
I'm just gonna assume now that I'll see him more often here. And ignore him if I do.

Í think my ex husband feels the same way, even though I did nothing to harm or hurt him. But he sees it differently.
Typical how the ex-situation can remain tricky.

I think bumping into an ex in a place you are socialising, hanging out, like a casino or pub, is even worse. At least in the supermarket both are their for a short time.

I don't have any ill feelings toward that ex wife.
Nor, her toward me.
(Surprise! )

It's just a personal space thing.

my latest ex, ex fiance gf of 4 years if i saw her again would probably hit on her

If they know they hurt you and they do not initiate contact -and with an apology early on -or at least with an apologetic attitude -things would not likely be different if you did start talking, etc.

If they posed as a crystal monger, well.... that's just super head-gamey.
Mayyyyyyyybe it could be some ill-advised, awkward attempt to figure out your current situation if they would like to get back together, but still not respectful.

Some use psychology to manipulate rather than understanding it so as to better treat someone even more respectfully.

There may or may not be sincerity within your ex, but insincerity can also exist in the same person -each concerning various aspects of a relationship and/or overall respectfulness/positive regard (real love).

Realize you are already upset and angry. Not a good start -and you may be simply revisiting what you have already sorted out because they are in some way very attractive to you.

Consider the difference between your deal breakers for someone being THE ONE and the things which you find attractive in this person.
If the deal breakers are not likely to change, are they really the one?

Good to hear! My relationships ended well too, friendly, thank goodness. My ex husband developed ill feelings later on. I think that began when I found someone new after a year.

What you really don't want to do is settle -get involved with someone then actually meet someone who is the one. Worse than that would be not meeting the one because you were busy being unhappy again.