Philophobia is afraid to fall in love

*I've always afraid to enter in a relationship again because my mind always think that, "What if it didn't work like my past relationships?" Nah. I don't wanna suffer the same pain again

Love, maybe the most underrated metaphor in this world, sometimes it makes u feel alive, sometimes dead.. you'll never know which side you are in!

Well, if you are afraid to fall in love you will never find love. It's a way of negative thinking and once you start to think more positive and take a risk, love may come your way! Remember, the biggest risk in life is not taking any.

Not loving for fear of suffering is very much like not living for fear of dying...
Go out and live your life, you have only one.
You may get hurt, you may hurt others, you may suffer and joy... this is what is called life, not just waiting until it's over.

good luck to you

Did you even try to love yourself first? I heard a few times, without loving yourself it ain't possible to love others.

Love is a feeling. Like sadness, joy and anger.
Most people can't control their feelings.
However, many people do try to hold onto feelings.
Feelings come and go naturally.
They are the highs and lows of life.

Feeling love for another in itself is not so bad.
The problem is, love can't be given, taken or stolen.
Its something you feel inside.
You can't make someone else love you.
They either feel love for you or they don't.

Since feelings come and go and are personally felt,
You can love someone one moment and not the next.
They can feel love for you at one moment but not the next.
When the love you feel for another is prominent, you feel 'in love'.
Many people try to hold that feeling but because its a feeling, it fluctuates.

When people feel love for another they demonstrate that love towards that person.
Sometimes the other person doesn't respond to that demonstration.
Sometimes they feel no love no matter what you demonstrate.
On the other hand, sometimes how another demonstrates their love for you is lost in translation. Both parties must be open to the expression of love from the other.

When the demonstration of love is receptive by both parties, those two people feel they are 'in love' with each other.
Each feels love but it is not the other person's love they feel, it is their love they feel towards that other person because they are receptive to the love they demonstrate.

While it is possible to dull the feelings they are still happening but you are controlling them. Its like when you are angry yet keep it in control.
It doesn't mean you can't love, just that you are in control of the love you feel. The same way you are in control when you get sad or angry.

Love in and of itself is not a bad thing. Its a positive feeling. Just as anger and sadness is a negative feeling. When you control your feelings too severely, you run the risk of stress. Some feeling expression is important and healthy to keep you sane.

The trick is to find inner contentment.
If you are content most of the time, your feelings are free to rise and fall naturally.
Trying to hold on to one feeling over all others creates a conflict which can make you unhappy or 'malcontent'.
When you try to hang onto love or happiness, you slowly lose the sensitivity to those feelings. Then when love does happen, you can't feel it as you used to.
You start thinking you are unable to love.
All you need to do is let go of the controls and let your feelings rise and fall naturally.

"Philophobes" wouldn't sign on to dating websites.

It's like someone with agoraphobia attending via hot air balloon an open air concert to decimate forests to create more open spaces so more launch pads into space can be created.


And yet...you're here.

So what do you "really" want?

I was going to make the same comment as Tom .,

A phobia is a extreme irrational fear .., the tendency would be to avoid social encounters to reduce the risk being exposed to falling in love... Especially dating sites ... unless it is part of desensitising therapy .

Being scared of falling in love does not always result in a phobia .

Don’t let past experiences harden your heart . If you close your heart to the possibility of love you are hurting yourself the most

You can always date, no need to rush in to a serious relationship, and if your last relationship ended very recently, you do need time to get over it, so have fun being single for awhile and go out with your friends. If you decide to go on a date, let it be known it's just that, a date, enjoy yourself without making any further commitment. You will recover, you just need to give it time.