How about removing expectations and ownership from the equation?
Be there, be in the moment and focus on the present.
Stop letting your fear of the unknown cloud you.
Try not to read into simple statement or actions.
Realize you are dealing with another person who also thinks and feels, has strengths and weaknesses and WANTS to be with you right now.

Try to realize not every woman is a barracuda and not every man is a schemer.

Everyone changes constantly, its how we grow. As a couple you will change. Its your choice to change for the better or change for the worse.

For starters: Learn how to talk to each other.

Rules of Rational Communication
by Michael J. Hurd

· Do not interrupt. Allow your partner to finish what he is saying. When there is a pause, politely ask, "Are you finished?"

· Actively listen. In other words, think about what she is saying. Look for evidence of honest misunderstandings. They are almost always present. Misunderstandings, rather than fundamental differences, are the root cause of most marital quarrels.

· Do not try to formulate your answer while he is talking. When it is your turn to speak, pause and carefully formulate your answer before stating it. Don't rush things.

· Allow time-outs. If you are too emotional to continue, take a five- or ten- or thirty-minute time-out. Take responsibility for re-initiating the discussion at the end of the time-out. Although time-outs can be frustrating, it is more frustrating to try to carry on a conversation when one or both parties are too emotional to think clearly and logically.

· Be very careful to avoid saying things you do not mean. Hateful, hurtful statements, made in the heat of emotion, do irreparable damage. Words do have consequences.

· Try to remind yourself that you are an adult, and that you are no longer a helpless child at the mercy of adults. You are in this relationship by choice. Nobody is forcing you to be here, and you owe it to yourself, more than anyone, to resolve this conflict rationally so that you can be happy with your spouse.

· Try to avoid generalized comments such as, "You always accuse me..." or "You never show me you love me..." Use generalized statements only if you know for a fact they are true. In the heat of discussion, you might feel they are true, but feelings and facts are not necessarily the same thing.

· Avoid defensiveness. Don't feel you have to defend yourself against enemy attacks; with the person you supposedly love the most in the world as your mortal enemy. Instead, calmly and politely ask for the evidence that you never show that you care, or the evidence that you are not truthful, or the evidence that you do not keep your promises. You do not have to accept assertions without proof, even from your spouse.

· If your partner does provide convincing evidence for a criticism of you, act like a grown-up and accept responsibility for the fact you made a mistake. Adherence to the facts of reality is a virtue, and will help your spouse respect you more and improve your own self-esteem. Faking reality, denying that something is true even though you know it is true, represents the greatest sin you can commit against yourself or your spouse. The damage is permanent.

· Follow this absolute rule: feelings and facts are not necessarily the same thing. You have no right to assert your feelings as truth without valid, logical proof to back them up. Neither does your spouse. If either partner fails to follow this rule, as an absolute, no marital happiness will ever be possible.