Preference: a greater liking for one alternative over another or others. When we say we 'don't' do something. That is not a preference.


A preference ranks options by order. If I don't eat spinach, that is NOT a preference. It is a choice, and It is an exclusion altogether, not even in the options. If I prefer strawberry ice cream, I will still eat other types. But amongst those options, my first choice is strawberry.

If I do not date girls, that is my choice. Because they are not an option, I can't really say it is a preference. They are not even on the list. IT is an exclusion and it is my choice though.

Pardon? What are you saying MsHarmony?

She's saying there
's a difference between *preference" (i.e. what one prefers) and "choice" (as Ms harmony puts it, absolute *nopes*)

I disagree with the latter...some things, such a sexual orientation are NOT "choices"..

For some, sexual orientation is a choice, for others,it is a preference. Depends totally on the individual and their physical/psychological make up.

I THINK this is a gripe about word use and misuse.

I can definitely side with what I think msharmony's complaint is about: people (especially on dating sites) using the word "preference" incorrectly.

When enough people call something a "preference" that isn't accurately described as a "preference," a lot of other false things are implied as well.

It's why I am thought of as a picky grammarian by a number of people.

I'm not sure I'm all that happy with saying some things are a "choice" or not, by contrast, though. She and I might differ there. My sexual "orientation" sure as heck isn't a "preference" or a "choice." To me, "choice" implies that I COULD pick something else. "Preference" implies I actually WOULD take the other, if the one wasn't available.

That I am always 100% loyal to whoever I love, is absolutely a "choice." I want credit for the fact that I do not betray others for personal gain or pleasure, ever.

That I don't ever try to have casual sexual trysts while I'm not committed to someone else isn't a "preference" for me either. If I allowed someone to say it was, that would imply that I'm entirely happy to go that way, when I'm not. As Msharmony says, "preference" means "I like both things fine, I just like one slightly more than the other."

"It's why I am thought of as a picky grammarian by a number of people."

Me too...
I do make mistakes sometimes, but I try and catch & correct them

"She and I might differ there. My sexual "orientation" sure as heck isn't a "preference" or a "choice." To me, "choice" implies that I COULD pick something else. "

THIS.
One's orientation is NOT a choice..if *you* think it is..tell me exactly when you "chose" to be heterosexual..

Now, being bisexual is possibly a choice/ preference...

I understand perfectly what everyone is saying in this topic.

Getting inadvertently eaten by a bear is not preferable.

Escaping is choice.

I am mostly bored and wanting to point out the diff between something being a true 'preference' (implying a rank in a list) or a mandate (implying inclusion or exclusion from the list).

I stand corrected. Feelings are not conscious choices (there is some conditioning and subconscious association there). Actions are choices, like who we date or what we eat or what we wear , et cetera...,.

I agree that it is not a conscious choice. I do happen to think of it as something that is conditioned though. I think of Pavlov's dogs changing their physiological reaction to salivate to a bell, not by what we would think of as 'choice', but through the programming of action-reaction conditioning that embedded in the mind a stimulus replacing or adding to their 'natural' stimulus of food.

I think our subconscious makes those kind of correlations and connections on any number of things that we are not consciously making a choice about.

I prefer to give you this flower, the options were pretty slim..