Why do most people think because their ex was hostile, that even their next will be?

Am tired of always explaining myself to the potential lady all because their ex ****ed up.

And will you even know my worth if you don’t try talking to me?

Does not responding to messages now the fair way of “IAM NOT INTRESTED “???

Actually if they do not respond that is your answer they are not interested or have not been on the site in a while to even see your message..

Probably because we learn wisdom by experience.
Expectation is a self-preservation safeguard.


Then don't, just choose a different lady.


That is predicated on the assumption they want to know your worth.


No answer is an answer.
Let it go and make a new choice.
Choose Wisely.

No reply could mean not interested or no longer active on this site.

Move on.

history helps us to build a better relationship because we learn from experience

Agreed. The answer lies in the questions that you have put up. We are what we are due to our experiences. Now what kinda impact our experiences have on us is truly very complex. It's mostly conditioned by the the society, to be put simply! How do we stay focussed on our future without being waylaid by the "ghosts" of our experiences? Tough work. Remain analytical about situations, incidents.

Your message is contradicting itself...
You say you have to explain yourself all the time...
in the same breath
You say women don't reply.

???

Human nature?

Unless they're really stupid, they don't.
That's just a game some people play.
Especially if they aren't that attracted to you.

People come up with win win scenarios for themselves.
If they can label you "like their ex," they can reject you as a part of that compartmentalization rather than as a person, so no guilt.
If they can get you to chase them and prove you "aren't like the others," that's validating attention.
If they get you to commit to that personality, they've secured whatever benefit they're seeking.

Among many others, men have the "nice guy" personality, women have the "I'm a victim" personality.

If a woman brings up her victimhood past to a complete stranger, she's trying to manipulate you into jumping through hoops that are validating to her.


If they're bringing up their ex, they are simply playing a game with you.

Their ex was their choice. Their mental/emotional health is their choice.

If they're trying to make you responsible for it?
They're playing a game.

And really, ultimately, that means they aren't that attracted to you.
Only to some perceived benefit they see you can provide, not are.


You have no worth outside of what value they wish to perceive you bring to their table.


"Now?"
It's been the way of saying "I am not interested" since the 90's.