Just heard this woman on the radio say she was having a great Sunday as she was sitting on the couch with her husband. How could it get better?
Me thinking: Boring!!!

Which brought me to the question: if you have a partner, live together, what do you do when you have time off?
If you look back at past relationships, what did you do and did it please you.
NOT sex.

Relationship 1: mostly about raising the family and building up careers so we could get a decent home.

Relationship 2: at first fun outings, picnics etc. But soon not much togetherness, doing our own thing under the same roof

Relationship 3: he didn't have rest inside, always needed to go somewhere. Not nice.

Hmm... so what would you (like to) do?

Relationship 1
home should be a place full of understanding and love
We can do interesting things together shopping reading watching movies going fishing and traveling and exploring different places together and enjoying different food ...

No sex? Sounds a bit weird. Maybe you meant sex wasn't the primary emphasis you wanted to talk about.

As for what I would want in a mate, it's for them to be a basic mate. Think old fashioned cave man level stuff. Not hunter-gatherer exactly, just that we do stuff together that needs doing, and when we have time that nothing needs doing, we do stuff for fun.

Some of what I enjoy is one-person stuff, so that wouldn't be what you want.

One thing I think I might understand that you found boring, is that "off time" isn't any fun, if there are pressures to perform somehow. I know lots of people who choose not to have a mate at all, because they don't want the non-stop sense of obligation to entertain that goes along with it for some mates.

There are plenty of entertainments that look to be fun, but so much of that kind of thing requires that a person have a lot of money as well as a lot of "spare time."

After all, I like skiing, I'd love to go scuba diving, but it takes hundreds of dollars to do the former very often around here, and thousands to do the latter. PLUS a ton of spare time, AND high quality expensive transportation.

I love to go to live performances of various kinds, but in my area that again means at least a hundred bucks per opportunity. And going dancing just flat out isn't possible any more, because all the real estate opportunists drove the cost of dance space up to the point where there literally aren't any venues that allow it.

Since most of my personal entertainments are intellectually related, I'm not very good at coming up with more interactive stuff. One of the reasons more than one person left me behind because of.

I indeed meant to not reply with "sex".
To be honest, when I think about being with a partner, the scenario of living together, I sometimes wonder what the hell you'd do. Of course it'll work itself out but still.
Like my first relationship revolving round kids, family, money & career, getting a house sorted etc. That phase of life has gone, and that's one thing it can be about.
The other one we ended up each doing our own thing more and more as the relationship was crap.
Last one always wanted to go places, to be out of the house, which I didn't like either. I also enjoy being at home.
And yes, the intellectual & mental part, I need that too.

But to think of what life would look like with a partner in an enjoyable fulfilling way... I find it rather difficult.

I believe the key is lifestyle. They either fit together and compliment each other or each goes their separate ways. Probably a healthy balance between always being together and always going your own way.

Another possible way to consider it, is more "organically," if you will.

That is, the point of having a mate and living together, is just exactly that. Not to do more, or to think badly of oneself for not doing "couples activities."

Just to be a companion to each other through very normal existence, can be a "thing to do," in and of itself.

I agree, as you go through the motions of being a couple, you figure it out. No stress,
just living life together.

Life can get busy, so for me, the couple enjoying time on the
sofa can be a wonderful thing to do together when you’re not
doing all the other things you have to do. :)

Last partner, listen to music, talk philosophy, go for drives, just hang together. She was an actual angel.

One before: watch videos, read books, cook, work in garden, visit friends and rellies, drives, camping, motorcycling, archery, bushwalking, dump scrounging, picnics, and heaps more.

One before: listen to music, talk philosophy, go for drives, short local holiday trips. Sort her dramas since she was an alcoholic - not fun.

Next partner (I wish): bicycling, sailing, bushwalking, picnics, drives, camping, listen to music, star gazing, metal detectoring, diving, fishing, motorcycling, archery, car maintenance, hunting,
and then her interests: ?

I love the outdoors and New Zealand has a lot of it. So hiking, camping, swimming, kayaking, checking out music/bands in a low key way. Walking and caring for our 99 rescued animals
Snuggling in bed at home and watching movies, giving each other space to pursue our own friends and interests too. Making friends together, but I am very particular who I let in my home. It is my safe place ...

Yes, there definitely would need to be a healthy balance in that!

Very good point! Thank you :)

Thank you everyone for your feedback!

And if both of you are exhausted and need a break, just sitting on the couch enjoying company is relaxing for body and mind.

But you probably only got part of the story, maybe they were both zonked on pharmaceuticals, and that's about all they could do anyway, was sit around.

Sometimes, things just don't mesh
as well as they should.




In a couple, each should make the other
a better person. Not by force of change.
But, by allowing each other room to grow
together, and as individuals.

What's wrong Rock, you didn't make the most of the topic. I was expecting thoroughly crass and funny.
Oh, the things I would do with a partner . . . that's right - no sex rule.

I reed your comant riply good same feeling.

I never have a problem figuring out what to do when my gf is here.
We just enjoy each other's company, a lot.
Gotta remember, both of us were alone for a long duration before we met each other.
Plus, she was in a restrictive marriage with very few 'exploration' avenues and a lot of psychological abuse. In other words, I normally do many things she has never done. Plus, I am a positive person and she is less and less stressed now.

I am physically restricted to my activities. We spend a lot of time at the house.
While together, we expand each other's horizons.
We try new foods, cooking methods and recipes.
We watch a lot of movies, listen to a lot of music and recently, been listening to audiobooks (which she has never experienced before).
We discuss society, technological ideas and theories on just about any subject.

We laugh a lot. Both of us are weird by most people's standards.
We play (chase each other around, tickle and goose).
We set on the porch at night and listen to the train mating calls, eavesdrop on frog conversations and count the stars.

There are quiet moments where we do sit on the sofa, no lights, no tv, no music and just enjoy each other being close. Tender moments where the unspoken heart is the loudest.
...and YES, we have sex whenever and wherever we feel like.