Any tips on this problem? My daughter said she would come home before 10 yesterday evening later was home after 10 with her girl classmates

That is one thing I did not have a problem with my kids knew they had to be home by 10pm when growing up..

I told them if they were not home by 10pm on a school night and midnight on the weekends. Then where ever they wanted to go on the weekends to do things with friends or us that if they did not they would not get to go...

So yea I threaten them in order to get them to comply by the house rules... it worked for me..

Thanks a lot yesterday I was angry and threatened not to care for her anymore if she didn’t follow her promise at first she found excuses and talked back at last she said she would obey his words in the future today I don’t talk to her much she’s in her own room most of the time except that she came out for something to eat

Humm my kids knew better then to give me the silent treatment when they did something wrong... For I'm a talking and would go to their room and give them something to do and a piece of my mind.. If their room was not clean they were told to clean it.. or help with something else... The silent treatment towards me only made it worse for them lol....

One thing they found out really fast was talking back to me only made things worse.. I did not ground my kids instead I took things away they wanted to do even if it was two weeks down the road something they had planned for a while..

Not saying we did not have our times as a single mother of 2 a boy and a girl we had plenty of times we did not see eye to eye... My daughter actually never had a issue with her not coming home on time but once... she was in high school staying at her grandmothers and did it to her... I guarantee it was the last time she tried it...

My son well lets just say it was a challenge but you just have to stay firm and remind them who the parent is.. Told both of mine when you turn 18 have a job and Graduated from High School you can pick your own times.. But even then if still living at home after a certain time they had to call me and let me know they were staying out late..

It is not easy and at time you just have to find what works for you..Both of mine are grown in their middle 30's now with kids of their own.. They see now what it's like to be parents.. And found out that mom was pretty easy going compared to others... :)

It’s a learning process for me I told my daughter once when she was very young it’s the first time for me to be a mom I was pleased if she could forgive me if I do something not good to her at times I think parenting is a challenge I try to find what I should do to make everything all right

Her room is sort of a mess lol now I told her to clean her shoes worn in winter they’re still there although I told her to clean them many times

I used to threaten mine with the lash

It seems threatening did work poor us

Can be difficult, yes. Much hinges on your own consistency to your house rules. And also the child's age and the reasonableness of your rules.
Also, at a certain age kids will call you out if you for instance don't keep your promise yourself. You may reason you are the adult parent and do what you want, a child won't see it that way.
Often parents aren't consequent with their rules and then it goes awry.

As for cleaning their room... it's their room, they gotta live in it. As long as there aren't pests or fungi it's there problem.
If they run out of clothes it's their problem. As long as they don't mess up your living room, bedroom and bathroom.


Also if you got a ton of rules... likely not going to work either.

Just joking, mine were very well behaved an both turned out fine

I had a difficult time with my kids throughout their teenage years. Can't blame them, the circumstances were far from ideal, but alas, wasn't easy, very trying, drove me to despair at times.
But they turned out great! Very well-rounded adults, intelligent, and great to be with.
I think maybe sometimes parents fuss too much over their kids. As long as the foundation you gave them is solid, and you keep giving the right example, they will mostly turn out okay.

My oldest, was actually so well mannered,
and so well behaved, that it made me nervous
as a parent.

Lol that’s better than a headache my daughter is a headache once in a while driving me nuts 🤣

While I agree with TG on making deals that's before or after the fact. For teens it's the moment that matters.

Girl comes home late, the first thing is 'she's home & safe' silently rejoice. Check whether she's had something to eat; heat up some milk and short of tucking her into bed, warm goodnight. The mother to daughter talk can wait till morning.

From the teen's view, she does not see the 'worried mother' just the angry person trying to run her life. Next time she's late, & as teens we all had our genuine reasons; what are the choices you have left her with.. (in her imagination)

Easy to say, difficult to practice, but worth it. Else, very soon, daughter (or son) is soon looking for her / his own place.

Even my Ex used to say 'I was a good Dad'.

Thanks I will take that into consideration my daughter is 23 now I care more about her safety when she isn’t home on time

oh, sorry. The caption said 'training kids' and in a way yes; 23 is the transit year.
Which means, around next year she may be your best friend.

Thank you for warm words

I'm a tad late to the party but I would like to add my 7 cents worth nevertheless. I was a child development major before realizing I did not like kids enough to do that as a career so I switched to computers because they do not talk back or sneak out the house like I did lol.
The only time to "train" your kids is when they are youngsters and still malleable. Once they become teens/close to adulthood, they yearn to break free from parents and make their own choices (pretty sure most of us did the same thing). That is fine as long as they foot their OWN bills. Since your child is grown, the only thing you can do to train her is to demand she respect the rules of the house. Short of physical punishment (I don't recommend), you cannot even make her respect YOU at this point, as we see played out on Dr. Phil. There is no asking her anything unless you happen to live in HER home. Since she lives under your roof, you set the rules and let her know she must obey them or at least maintain contact with you should circumstances arise where she cannot do so. That means that you must outline your terms and specify consequences if she breaks them. That requires some tough love on your part because you must follow through and be consistent. You must mean what you say and say exactly what you mean so there can be no argument. Of course, the consequences would be specific to that child like if you pay her car note, take the car away for a period of time to teach her responsibility but you must be consistent. Not to be mean, I am just brutally honest, but it sounds like she is running the show going by your statement about her still dirty winter shoes. Your threats may have worked, for now, but soon she will realize that is all you do and she will come to ignore them or even challenge them. She is disobeying you because she knows she can get away with it with only vague excuses as explanation. PLEASE teach her right, right now. When she has a career, do you think her boss will allow her to always be late and talk her way out of it? Maybe once, twice at best. Soon, boss will get sick of excuses and fire her. Same goes for when she gets her own place or being pulled over too many times for speeding: landowner or cop will only put up with so much before she must pay the piper and her arguments fall on deaf ears. I don't know any parents who want to see their kid suffer those fates. My advice is never threaten but react. Again, consistency is KEY. This is your last chance to teach her responsibility before she goes out into a world that will not love her and worry about her as you do.
When I tell my sons to do something, I meant it! I wish I WOULD repeat myself to them. If they do not comply, I am on it every time. I have to be as my youngest is very manipulative and sneaky. He actively seeks ways to skirt the rules but I am consistent with consequences. Yes, it can be tiring but parenting is literally a full-time job. You sound like a great, caring mommy and she's probably a good kid thanks to your efforts but you want to ensure she becomes a responsible adult. Kids sure don't come with a user manual so I give kudos to you for being brave and reaching out to other parents. Very best of luck to you (sorry for the rather windy entry, I am a published author and LOVE to write lol).

Thanks a lot 🧚‍♀️ will read what you wrote carefully I’m having lunch best wishes dear sis

Consistency is key.

However if you Kids are already in their teens and running riot... then what ?

Consequences may mean little to them, as they will adapt.

Cancelling their phone contracts may seem to be the immediate solution - though when they suddenly appear with their own self-funded phones... then what ?

Locking them out of the house neither.

Shutting them out isn't the answer. Neither is being a yes person to everything they wish.

Parenting isn't an exact Science, though when Governments get involved by telling you what you can and can not do... that, becomes a problem - in such a case, I'd say to the Government, okay - now it's your problem, sort it out!