Topic: Dad's Have Rights To You Know!
duckiegiggles's photo
Sat 12/15/07 04:54 PM

Well, in the state of Illinois, even if the non-custodial parent is a deadbeat and uninvolved, if you do not get court permission from the courts to leave the state, the non-custodial parent can slap "kidnapping" charges on you and force you back to the state. It doesn't mean they want to see their kid... it means that they want to screw with your plans to move on in your life. Also- paying child support is considered a form of involvement... so even if the guy NEVER shows interest in seeing his kid or providing physical/emotional support to that child, providing monetary support (in my case, a whopping $68 per week) somehow, in the states eyes, constitutes him being involved.



and this is what i am looking for this kinda of information..thankyou!1

duckiegiggles's photo
Sat 12/15/07 04:56 PM
Edited by duckiegiggles on Sat 12/15/07 05:02 PM
bump

duckiegiggles's photo
Sat 12/15/07 05:01 PM
Edited by duckiegiggles on Sat 12/15/07 05:02 PM



i understand everyones need to vent
but that is not what this topic was started for
it was started to inform dads of their rights in differant states and for people to post if they know what they are
they have enough threads for the he said she said ..hes a this and shes a that
please can we just keep in on the subject thankyou


Didn't know there was a dictatorship as to what could be posted. Topic says "FATHER'S RIGHTS" ... there are good points and bad points to the issue. The issue is that the laws are written with intent for BOTH PARENTS' right s to be protected... I was in no way saying Fathers should NOT have rights... but whatever huh Guess next time I'll ask your permission before I voice my opinion. Geez!....huh

im not looking for the bad points on this
this was posted for the GOOD guys who are getting screwed over and not allowed to see their kids and do not know their rights
you can bash or rant about what he(or she) is not doing or what they are doing wrong, all you want but they have other topics for that because its always a 2 sided story or he said she said and there will never be and end to that


RainbowTrout's photo
Sat 12/15/07 07:14 PM
Not bailing is good sound advice. Even if one is drawing Unemployment benefits up to fifty per cent can be taken for child support but that is a good thing. At least it shows that you are trying. The child which should be the important person since after all it is child support can later draw his or her own conclusion. Out of sight and out of mind is not always true when the time element is added to the equation. What sometimes at the time seems to be the right answer because of how one feels towards their spouse should not be taken out upon the child. The child is still a human being and has rights. Life is not a bowl of cherries but a bowl of jalepenoes because it can burn your ass later.

bestdadfire's photo
Sat 12/15/07 09:24 PM
i hope this forum is still open. In the state of Alabama child support and visitation are two different animals. I think visitation is the most important of the two. The child should know both of the parents. I think if parents fight over visitation than they are being selfish and only thinking about themselves and not the child. In my divorce i have joint physical custody. No child support no visitation set up. We are just raising our kids. That is what is important.

willy_cents's photo
Sat 12/15/07 09:53 PM
In Wyoming, child support is set by a formula devised by the legislature.Dad's income is added to Mom's income, lowest for either is minimum wage whether they work or not, the percentage of each is calculated, and the non-custodial parent pays their percentage of the "standard of need" set by DFS in child support. If the non-custodial parent has physical custody of the kids for more than 7 months, they pay the non-custodial parent 66% of their child support instead of all of it. Failure to pay child support can result in loss of all government issued licenses, ie, driving, hunting, business, professional, etc. If busted for non payment, bail is set at the amount of arrearage. You can be sentenced to jail for up to 364 days, released for one day, and resentenced for up to another 364 days, and so on forever. Visitation denial is a separate issue. Failure to grant, or to deny visitation as delineeated in the decree can result at most in a butt-chewing from the judge. Sounds real fair doesn't it?

willy_cents's photo
Sat 12/15/07 09:56 PM
as a bit of interesting trivia in the child support issue in Wyoming...93% of men paying child support are current on their payments. 55% of women paying child support are more than one year in arrearage.

duckiegiggles's photo
Sat 12/15/07 10:23 PM

In Wyoming, child support is set by a formula devised by the legislature.Dad's income is added to Mom's income, lowest for either is minimum wage whether they work or not, the percentage of each is calculated, and the non-custodial parent pays their percentage of the "standard of need" set by DFS in child support. If the non-custodial parent has physical custody of the kids for more than 7 months, they pay the non-custodial parent 66% of their child support instead of all of it. Failure to pay child support can result in loss of all government issued licenses, ie, driving, hunting, business, professional, etc. If busted for non payment, bail is set at the amount of arrearage. You can be sentenced to jail for up to 364 days, released for one day, and resentenced for up to another 364 days, and so on forever. Visitation denial is a separate issue. Failure to grant, or to deny visitation as delineeated in the decree can result at most in a butt-chewing from the judge. Sounds real fair doesn't it?

that is very helpful info thankyou

IntelligentLady's photo
Sat 12/15/07 10:40 PM

Thats so true I dont see why women keep the kids away from the father I've got myself in the same situation.. I even tried everything I could to be a dad and father and she wanted to go screw around with someone else now she blames me for not wanting to be there even after for 3 years ive done nothing but support my child and work and been there everyday for him and her both only to have my heart ripped into pieces by someone that doesnt care .. and all I want to do is be there for my son but she always has some excuse.. if i do get him its maybe once a week and i cherish those few hours like they are the last day of my life.. I think there needs to be a big wake up call out there, even if you dont love the man anymore his kids sure do its not fair to keep them away.. open up your eyes please..


I've never understood it either. My son was still in diapers when we separated but we've always worked together, never fought and work to do what it best for our son. We talk with teachers together, we go to doctors appointments togeters...hell a few years ago we went to an appointment and after an hour my son mentioned "my mom's boyfriend" and the doctor nearly had a coronary because he didn't realize until then we weren't married. Children are not pawns they are people. My sister and I were always used as pawns in my parents divorce despite all they really cared about was themselves. I've given up a lot to make my son know he's loved and happy and so has my ex. When parents stop being so fricking selfish and start being civil and work together we save the future, increase the emotional stability of our children, ensure their education and make sure they dont go through emotional hell. Unless a child was physically, sexually or emotionally abused, my opinion is we owe it to our children to get along.

willy_cents's photo
Sat 12/15/07 10:45 PM
excellent post intelligentlady. Often I wonder who the chldren are in a divorce because the parents act more like children than the children,grumble grumble

Jackie76's photo
Mon 12/17/07 02:47 PM
I have three kids with my ex-husband and i have been on both sides of the fence.
There were times that his gf/second wife (now ex) was more important, and got involved in our discussions regarding our children. In the end he would bow out of his responsibilites. That is hard to explain to a child, no matter how old.
Now, the kids are with both parents equal time with both of us.
Sometimes, there are parents that dont want their kids unless it works for them. SO dont look so hard on those ppl who feel differently, who knows what has happened to them.

littlepreggers's photo
Tue 12/18/07 12:54 AM
well first off.... i'm holding on to the dream that my childrens father will stay around long enough to watch our oldest grow and our soon to be daughter be born... but all he keeps doing is running off to different towns to get a "job" when he had one in the same town we live in..... he gets mad when i say.. hey why dont you come down and see your son and maybe your new daughter be born... he gets mad and says that i'm just being clingy and i need to grow up... LISTEN TO THIS... i still havent filed for child support or sole custody... if he cant stick around long enough to play daddy then he isnt daddy.... but yet when he needs something or some one to love him he knows where to go.... or call.... i'm just to weak to say what needs to be said..sad

kevy's photo
Sat 12/22/07 11:37 AM
i have points
can u help me
all of 2005 my wife was cheatin
with amarrried guy
i found out 8 -05
aksed her to stop
she put a pfa on me
11-05
its expired
i agreed n left
she dropped my kids of 7 2006
said its yer turn ta take care of em
im still payin 800 amonth support
from the pfa
im afrqaid to go back to court
she says if u do ill ust take the kidsits 3 years later now
and he still lives with his wife
and mine spends all her time with him
spends an hour a night with our kids

RainbowTrout's photo
Sat 12/22/07 05:36 PM
If behind every great man there is a greater woman then what is behind the greater woman?

RainbowTrout's photo
Sat 12/22/07 05:48 PM
I am not buying into the clingy theory any more. I just think it is a big load of crap. If you love someone how can you not be clingy?laugh

RainbowTrout's photo
Sat 12/22/07 06:42 PM
Little, I would just tell him that you reserve the right to be clingy.

littlepreggers's photo
Sat 12/22/07 08:30 PM
well when my ex goes back to meth he avoids me and the children.... its going on 5 days now.... hasnt called to see how the belly is doing.... or his son... but can call is mama to get money... i had enough i need help i dont want that crap around my children or around a new born

deepblueeyes's photo
Sat 12/22/07 09:01 PM
what about the kids rights to see their father who doesn't give a hoot about seeing them.....my son is 14 years old now and has formed his own opinion of his deadbeat dad .....I never talked bad about his father I don't think that is right but when you are 3 years old playing tee ball and all the other kids dads come to watch their sons play and you see the hurt in your sons eyes because his father is too worried about who he is gonna get in the sack to come see him play .....that my friends is pathetic....I am glad and so in my son that he does not have any contact after the years of crying and not knowing why his father would not come watch him play (which he is missing out) he has finally come to the realization that his dad SUCKS...his words not mine...anyway he does not pay child support even though he is court ordered because nobody cares to look for him ..so Ohio child support laws in my opinion aren't worth the paper they are written on....

Katie1986's photo
Sat 12/22/07 09:18 PM
Edited by Katie1986 on Sat 12/22/07 09:26 PM

willy_cents's photo
Sat 12/22/07 09:22 PM
he does not pay child support even though he is court ordered because nobody cares to look for him ..so Ohio child support laws in my opinion aren't worth the paper they are written on....


I struggle with c/s in a lot of cases. I work with a guy who div in Kansas. His c/s is $1500 per child per month, for three children. That comes to $50,000 plus a year. Is that child support or alimony? Get real, does it really cost 50 grand a year to raise three kids? I don't have a problem with reasonable, because you should support your kids; and reasonable depends upon where you live. It costs a lot more to live in Ca or NY than in Wy for certain.


and to you Little....dump the guy! the last thing you need is a spouse who is on meth. My last ex turned into a meth head and nearly broke us before I advised her to depart. She got to the point that it was all she talked about and did. Now, 5 years later, she dying of Hep C and has tested pos for HIV. Sharing needles is deadly