For those capable of feeling it for others, do you feel empathy more often than ridicule, hate, or dislike?

I find that I can start off feeling ridicule or dislike for people for any number of reasons. I never HATE anyone though. and at some point, even when I may start off laughing at ignorance, for example, I find myself feeling empathy for the person displaying ignorance instead. Usually, I have found that once you pay attention to and observe people long enough, it becomes clear the story that leads to the type of person they are at the time. usually, after realizing that story, I am able to move past ridicule of dislike, straight into empathy.

Are there others who have this same experience? How useful do you think empathy is in those situations? Is it healthier than ridicule or dislike, or do you think its healthier to feel the more raw initial emotions? OR maybe being able to go through the full cycle is the healthiest?

What do you think? the title is Empathy. But I guess I'm asking about which emotional reactions are most and least useful when trying to develop 'human' communication and relations. I don't find it useful to ever hate anyone. I find its better for me to separate disliking people's actions and words, rather than disliking people.

... most of all I think I didn't get enough sleep last night and 'Im tired.... just rambling.

I guess I have a different definition of empathy than you.
To me, empathy is my ability to sense the emotional state of another no matter it's polarity.
I have an accute sense of empathy with others.
So much so, I can influence them and make predictable changes to their mood.

Something I know is true is the fact that I am able to project my mood onto others and they tend to adopt my mood.
I've even tested this by saying and doing nothing to indicate my current mood.
It happens so frequently I actually thought I was supernatural at one time.

I bet if you were to try it, you would find it also happens to you.
You only need to be aware of it to recognize it.
Many people are unwares of how receptive they are to the empathy of others.
While they project, and recieve they are unaware they are doing so.
But, once you are aware, its amazing how often it is true.

Strange question. What is healthy about ridicule or dislike?
Of course empathy is preferable.
You can discern, but judgement or disdain is as ugly as it gets.

Some people have much more empathy than others, and I see it as one of the higher mental functions.
I see the child in people, even older people. I cheerfully imagine a 60 old woman making daisy chains as a little girl bright and cheerful and full of hope.

Things happen in life that shape our understanding of people/things. life is full of unpleasant things and difficult choices.
For example I could understand a victim of rape for adopting the attitude that all men a pigs. or a child brought up in the ghetto for adopting the attitude that everyone else is out to rip you off and all police are bastards.
In short I think empathy is most definitely the most useful tool for developing communications and relations.
We cant help but feel the raw emotions at times, but the important thing is that we,find an understanding as a result of them.

Caring/feeling motivates us, to unravel some of the mysteries of human experience.

People are full of complications and differences.... Strive on.

Yes, I still feel, same way as I used to feel years ago.
Its my nature and these things die hardly come what may.
'Still' because I have been married to a Narcissistic for 15 yrs and going through the hell everyday but still sympathize with her. I tried hard to move out but she's not letting me go. She's scheming and orchestrating rebellion in the house pitting my teenage son and taking hostage of my young daughter. Still I feel pity for her and empathize with her. May be its not empathy, something different??
This is not just with her, even a small emotional scene in a movie make my eyes wet and being a man, I always hide those emotions and pretend as if I am a tough guy.

Uh...off the internet, and interacting with people directly (especially in ongoing situations where I learn/know more about them), yes.
On the internet, while driving, or when having to deal with random strangers in an impersonal setting, no.


A lot of people mislabel compensating/overcompensating in pursuit of self image.

A lot of people have been socialized into some kind of emotional/mental self flagellation in pursuit of feeling superior/entitled.
e.g. kid breaks lamp as a kid, doesn't care. Mommy spanks the kid. Kid fears spankings. Kid's clumsy, keeps breaking things, mommy keeps spanking and tells them to be a "good kid." As an adult whenever person feels they've "broken" something, done something they might have gotten a spanking for as a kid, they manipulate their perceptions/emotions/thoughts (automatically) in order to compensate, to feel like they've been spanked, or to feel like they need to in order to be able to call themselves a "good person," they then feel entitled to avoid any other punishments or other punishments should be less severe.



...Most human beings that have ever existed?
Other than that, a "story" isn't really an accurate portrayal of someone's life or their own personal feelings involved.
Specifically and exactly, how much is their "story" based on your bias, interpretation, you filling in the gaps, any "facts," and what they say?

Like with the internet and people "falling in love" online, people can put a whole lot of their own selves, their own bias, into what they think the other's "story" is.


What "situation?"
What is the purpose of the people interacting? Or are they? Is one just reading the "story" of another whom they'll never meet?


Depends on what you want.
Not to mention, just because "emotions" are initial it doesn't mean they're "raw."
Your brain does a lot of work very quickly.

I mean take this " even when I may start off laughing at ignorance."
That can/will be reflected in body language which will be picked up which will influence their response.
You don't get to pick and choose what other people subconsciously pick up or to the degree they value it or how it affects their subsequent reactions.

Other than that, ridicule and dislike are simply means of establishing group identity and boundaries.


Huh? Full cycle? Like a washing machine or a period?


When phrased like that...all of them.

I have all of those quality's in me ... and do feel for some ... I just get sick and tired of seeing commercials trying to help others by giving $... some I feel look to their own government that should be providing all of those resources to them ... like save the children ... their government has oil and many riches ...so that should not be happening ... why ask Americans... when we have children starving here ... we have devastation here ... why ask for $ for are veterans when we spend trillions on wars ... altho I know its not their fault but we never know where the $ goes ... know one should have to live like that ... did I just go

We all have choices we have made in life and those choices have consequences. I think there are 2 times when I feel some empathy toward someone: Those who have significant physical or mental handicaps and those who made the best choice of the limited, inadequate choices they had. For the rest of society, NO!! You made your poor choices and now you can suffer through those consequences. Yes, I will lend a helping hand to someone who is trying their best to get ahead in life; those who want handouts, not going to happen!!

I want to take this all apart a little bit, then take a much closer look at a couple of the pieces you've used here, and then put it back together from a slightly different point of view. I hope it will help a bit.

The first piece I want to look more closely at, is where you mention "or do you think its healthier to feel the more raw initial emotions?" This reminds me of a sort of odd fad notion that I've seen come up more than a few times during my life. Every now and again, nowadays and in further history, some people come up with the idea that it's "unhealthy" to hold emotions in. It's usually the result of something unpleasant happening, because someone DID hold emotions almost entirely inside, and then either exploded violently because of it, or suffered self destruction because of it.

Where the "solution" of allowing more emotions to flow "naturally" goes wrong, is that people go overboard, and eventually start attributing HONESTY and TRUTH to whatever immediate emotions pop up, and stop inspecting them at all, before spewing out whatever instant reactions they have. They forget that we can have emotional reactions because something here and now, only REMINDS us of something bad from our past, that actually has little or nothing to do with here and now.

Much as we get fads that say that eating RAW VEGETABLES is inherently, almost magically better for us than eating cooked or otherwise changed vegetables, simply because they ARE raw, people get the idea that venting their emotions literally thoughtlessly is somehow more "honest" than thinking everything through and weighing everything first, and then that "honesty" makes you a superior person somehow. Even though they aren't so much "honest," as they are just aimless.

More than anything else, it reminds me of a fad that swept upper class Rome long ago, where it was believed that holding a full bladder for too long was damaging to the innards (it can certainly feel that way sometimes!), and so it became a common thing for a rich person to call a servant over with a vase for them to pee into, right in the middle of a conversation with someone else.

Another thing I want to look more closely at, is the exact identity of each EMOTION involved. It occurred to me only fairly recently, that there may not really be as MANY emotions as we have names for, after all. For example, perhaps there is no emotion of "embarrassment." Perhaps embarrassment is made of a coupling of fear and confusion, with a bit of anger sprinkled over it. Perhaps jealousy is a mushed together bit of anger, some fear, all stifled under a half remembered set of rules, that no one ever actually made into law.

And maybe there is no emotion of empathy. When I "empathize" with someone, the emotions I feel, are all my own original emotions, that I felt when I went through something similar to what the person I am "empathizing" with. The reason why "empathy" can go wrong, is that it is VERY important to recognize that I AM re-feeling my OWN emotions, and I am not "sensing" what the other person feels. I IMAGINE that the other person and I are similar enough, that I MIGHT know how they feel. And when I decide to deal with the person I "empathize" with, as though they ARE feeling what I did, I think it's important to realize that I'm behaving as I wish others did in the past, when I DID feel those emotions.

I think it's still a good thing to do, mind you, but if I start believing that I'm feeling EMPATHY, instead of only imagining that the other person is like me, I might end up confusing who is who, and who's VALUES matter in the exchange.

Empathy .. I feel things deeply other people's sadness.. loneliness.. sometimes I feel as though I can feel their very emotions.. and I sympathize deeply with them.. sometimes I just have to look away so I don't feel anything... when I see someone struggling.. but it is better to feel then not to feel at all

I’ve always had empathy and compassion but it’s gotten stronger over time.

I think it depends on what and whom you interact with that brings out and enhances your empathy. Once I was exposed to people with special needs and then became a caregiver to someone with special needs, My empathy expanded to include those people and it became much stronger. I am experiencing their struggles.

Like the saying goes “walk in someone else’s shoes”

I see empathy differently, but then, I'm weird.

Everyone (well, nearly everyone) has a certain amount of empathic ability.
Its like when you feel someone is joyous you feel joy, when someone is afraid you feel their fear or when someone is angry you sense their anger. To me that is all empathy.

There are people on this planet that do not feel empathy.
Sociopaths and psychopaths seldomly feel empathy.
They are unable to put themselves in another's place.
People that have narcissistic tendencies have a low level of empathic ability.
Their focus is often on themselves. How they feel, how things effect them and so on.

Empathy for others is not a strictly positive phenomenon.
You can feel empathy that is not positive and often, in the 'wild' you will sense anything but positive empathy.
There are a whole lot of people dealing with a whole lot of terrible things.
While it is easy to focus on the positive, we sense all of it.

Ever met someone that can cheer anyone up no matter what?
Ever met someone that no matter how often or where you have to deal with them you feel anger or sadness?
Your empathy classifies the people you meet whether you are aware of it or not.
You are attracted to those that make you feel good and avoid those that don't. That's empathy.