Alright, this is a weird one. I am just curious on opinions of why men do this.

I swear, every single guy I have ever dated, after we break up, I agonize over it for a while (very hard depressing overwhelming sadness), then when I get over them and usually have moved on to someone else they just call me randomly and want to hang out which turns into them begging for me back. But by then I have lost the love colored glasses and realize how Ick they really are and have no interest.

So it makes me wonder, if I found the person who I thought was right, there is no way for me to tell if we had broken up, if I would eventually think Ick about them. If that makes sense.

And why do the hell do men always come crawling back after they already ripped your heart out once! Geez!

i don't know, maybe it's like returning to the scene of the crime syndrome.

Well coming from a guy, 95% of us are confused scum. Someday you will come across one of the 5% that won't leave you to begin with.

Not sure if those kind of guys are on JSH, but I would like to know myself. My best friend had a VERY abusive and controlling boyfriend, they're broken up and she's very over him. Yet for some reason he keeps crawling back and wanting to get back with her. It's like he doesn't realize he was a complete @$$! I don't get what makes him think she'll take him in again.

The good thing about it, it really raises my self confidence/esteem.

I thought my last relationship was absolutely perfect and he broke up with me pretty much out of the blue. Well he called me tonight and wanted to hang out. Maybe guys figure it's an easy lay to get ahold of an ex. Who knows. but it made me so realize how silly I was to think that relationship was so wonderful. Where in the world was my brain on that one! LOL

I so have the answer to this one - having done this many times myself...

The reason men do this is simple: SEX.

If a guy leaves you and immediately moves on to another girl that he's hot about, you're forgotten.

BUT... if the guy finds a girl that sucks in bed, or is not that hot. He might start thinking about the great sex he had with you and want you back.

THAT GOES DOUBLE... if he's solo for a while. A few months without sex and suddenly... "I have to have her back" (translation) "I have to have sex with her again"

We're basically animals.

My advice. Never go back to some guy who wants you back. Unless it's within a week of the break up.

unfortunatly there are a lot of guys out there that do belive that. (ex's being an easy lay that is) They are the guys that think they are the center of the universe and girls just "cant live without them"

Men are so silly

I agree!

Something I've passed on to many of my lady friends...

All boys are idiots
All men are pigs
All men are boys
Not all boys are men

Only but a FEW men can ever be a gentleman.

I don't think that's neccesarily a guy thing, my ex wife did that to me after someone broke her heart. I was over her, so,I hate to admit it, but I found it kind of amusing.

Just to quote JVC, there's a 95% and there's a 5%.

I wish I could have a little man who lives on my shoulder and whispers in my ear, the real translations of what men say and do.

Wouldnt that just make life so much easier.

With this new guy I was pursuing or whatever you want to call it,

we had sex, big mistake, and then the next day he gave me mostly lines I heard before like "I'm not available emotionally to have a relationship" type things. And he also said he just doesn't have sex with someone... he's either all in, or nothing. Which made no sense. We barely knew each other. It was completely rushed. So he was basically saying after he gave all those lines about why he can't be in a relationship right now, that he wants to be friends to get to know each other first and do things right. And he also mentioned that he hoped that it wasn't just a one night stand, that there was more to it.

So talk about mixed signals. So I emailed him later that night and told him that we're just going to be coworkers and I don't want to hang out with him. And that I'm not looking for someone who isn't ready to commit.

I am seriously lost about that one. So I decided if it's meant to be, we can get to know each other well enough just at work and if something sparks then it sparks, and if not.. well.. then it doesnt.

there are some men who arent like that. I hate guys who do that stupid **** to women.

When looking for a serious relationship it's best not to have sex too soon. It can mess up things. Hold it off.

Yeah.... but when you're hormones take its toll and your brain turns to mush.. well there isnt any going back now :p but I'm still lost on what to do now. Well I guess I am doing something by practically starting over with him.

yeah but i had a girl do this with me so it gos both ways.and i let it happen over n over again

Well to me, if you have to think this much about getting with somebody, then you shouldn't do it. If there is any doubt in your gut at all I strongly recommend staying away from him because I will probably just lead to more trouble.

Psychologists learn about people's behaviour from the past.
So we have to go back to Charles Darvin's theory of Evolution!!
That means one was a sort of beast and now develpoed into a human being.
My dog always goes back to the place where it last did it's business!! What do you think??

I think the easy sex thing is right. but what about a guy who has found someone else, but yet keeps coming back to the ex for sex, help, etc ? and calls it " we are good friends." yet, to make things more complicated, wants to still control the exgf, by telling her where not to go, what to do, vice versa, lose weight, keep the weight off, etc.
What do you all make of this guy??? Please help?