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| Topic: What are things you see in dating profiles that will make yo | |
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The problem with online dating is that you judge someone by a few words. Maybe they suck at writing.
Everyone puts a shopping list of what they’re looking for. I think the basic information is enough because you might overlook someone based on something they wrote that doesn’t matter so much. I’ve changed the way I look at profiles and try not to judge by some stupid little thing they wrote. Chat and find out that way. |
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The problem with online dating is that you judge someone by a few words. Maybe they suck at writing. Everyone puts a shopping list of what they’re looking for. I think the basic information is enough because you might overlook someone based on something they wrote that doesn’t matter so much. I’ve changed the way I look at profiles and try not to judge by some stupid little thing they wrote. Chat and find out that way. Words can decieve. Chatting via videochat or even a phonecall as starters, bring us a step closer. |
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The problem with online dating is that you judge someone by a few words. Maybe they suck at writing. Everyone puts a shopping list of what they’re looking for. I think the basic information is enough because you might overlook someone based on something they wrote that doesn’t matter so much. I’ve changed the way I look at profiles and try not to judge by some stupid little thing they wrote. Chat and find out that way. 
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Fri 12/07/18 10:40 AM
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The problem with online dating is that you judge someone by a few words. Maybe they suck at writing. Everyone puts a shopping list of what they’re looking for. I think the basic information is enough because you might overlook someone based on something they wrote that doesn’t matter so much. I’ve changed the way I look at profiles and try not to judge by some stupid little thing they wrote. Chat and find out that way. Don't completely agree... - Judge them by a few words... words are how we express ourselves into the online world. If someone can't do that, they're better off not using the internet. There's plenty of info on HOW to make a good profile. Someone not doing that is lazy, not interested, doesn't care. Not the kind of person I'm looking for. I also invested time in it as it isn't something we've been raised to learn and know. Simply put: If you REALLY want something, you are willing to invest some time in it to do it right. - Chatting is also words. If someone cannot even come up with a decent profile, they likely sux at chatting too. - Someone having a shopping list says a lot about them. To be honest, I rarely come across it on a decent dating site. Someone who's a tad more intelligent and personally developed -which is what I'm looking for- wouldn't do that. It's mostly people who hold a grudge against their ex -and sometimes the entire other half of our species as well- who feel it is important to state that they don't want this, and if you do that!!! Be warned!! I only want that!, blablabla. I've NEVER seen that from a personally developed, well-rounded & confident, positive person. |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Fri 12/07/18 10:58 AM
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Don't completely agree... - Judge them by a few words... words are how we express ourselves into the online world. If someone can't do that, they're better off not using the internet. There's plenty of info on HOW to make a good profile. Someone not doing that is lazy, not interested, doesn't care. Not the kind of person I'm looking for. I also invested time in it as it isn't something we've been raised to learn and know. Simply put: If you REALLY want something, you are willing to invest some time in it to do it right. - Chatting is also words. If someone cannot even come up with a decent profile, they likely sux at chatting too. - Someone having a shopping list says a lot about them. To be honest, I rarely come across it on a decent dating site. Someone who's a tad more intelligent and personally developed -which is what I'm looking for- wouldn't do that. It's mostly people who hold a grudge against their ex -and sometimes the entire other half of our species as well- who feel it is important to state that they don't want this, and if you do that!!! Be warned!! I only want that!, blablabla. I've NEVER seen that from a personally developed, well-rounded & confident, positive person. THIS  I have ~tried~ that before...giving guys the benefit of the doubt....went to phone way quicker than i was comfortable with.. They were just as bad/ lazy WRT conversation.. I told the last one, I said..."look, conversation is a two-way street...." He said he didn't know what to say... I said "Well...tell me a bit about yourself...." He said there wasn't much to say....and he didn't like talking about himself...he said he wasn't very interesting anyway...  Oh, for sh**s sake.. At that point I just gave up.... (and, this was a guy who messaged *me* first...so, I assumed he was interested..) If someone can't manage to talk a bit about themselves, their interests, life expereinces, etc....you know, normal "getting to know you" stuff..  It's frustrating and exhausting and if I have to work *that* hard to pry conversation out of you I am not interested. |
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Don't completely agree... - Judge them by a few words... words are how we express ourselves into the online world. If someone can't do that, they're better off not using the internet. There's plenty of info on HOW to make a good profile. Someone not doing that is lazy, not interested, doesn't care. Not the kind of person I'm looking for. I also invested time in it as it isn't something we've been raised to learn and know. Simply put: If you REALLY want something, you are willing to invest some time in it to do it right. - Chatting is also words. If someone cannot even come up with a decent profile, they likely sux at chatting too. - Someone having a shopping list says a lot about them. To be honest, I rarely come across it on a decent dating site. Someone who's a tad more intelligent and personally developed -which is what I'm looking for- wouldn't do that. It's mostly people who hold a grudge against their ex -and sometimes the entire other half of our species as well- who feel it is important to state that they don't want this, and if you do that!!! Be warned!! I only want that!, blablabla. I've NEVER seen that from a personally developed, well-rounded & confident, positive person. Disagree! I got a message on another site, it was odd, weird poetry etc. I responded because I’m curious and easy going. No harm, I can always block them later. His profile wasn’t great but just ok. Well we are now dating. He is very nice, found some common interests, can talk for hours together, he makes me happy and this might actually go somewhere. Had I been judgemental, I never would have met him. He is totally different in person. That’s why I keep saying Open Your Eyes, don’t judge a book before you’ve read the whole thing. |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Fri 12/07/18 11:06 AM
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Don't completely agree... - Judge them by a few words... words are how we express ourselves into the online world. If someone can't do that, they're better off not using the internet. There's plenty of info on HOW to make a good profile. Someone not doing that is lazy, not interested, doesn't care. Not the kind of person I'm looking for. I also invested time in it as it isn't something we've been raised to learn and know. Simply put: If you REALLY want something, you are willing to invest some time in it to do it right. - Chatting is also words. If someone cannot even come up with a decent profile, they likely sux at chatting too. - Someone having a shopping list says a lot about them. To be honest, I rarely come across it on a decent dating site. Someone who's a tad more intelligent and personally developed -which is what I'm looking for- wouldn't do that. It's mostly people who hold a grudge against their ex -and sometimes the entire other half of our species as well- who feel it is important to state that they don't want this, and if you do that!!! Be warned!! I only want that!, blablabla. I've NEVER seen that from a personally developed, well-rounded & confident, positive person. Disagree! I got a message on another site, it was odd, weird poetry etc. I responded because I’m curious and easy going. No harm, I can always block them later. His profile wasn’t great but just ok. Well we are now dating. He is very nice, found some common interests, can talk for hours together, he makes me happy and this might actually go somewhere. Had I been judgemental, I never would have met him. He is totally different in person. That’s why I keep saying Open Your Eyes, don’t judge a book before you’ve read the whole thing. Yes..but...if you try and talk with them on the phone...and they can't manage a half-way decent conversation there....¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
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Disagree! I got a message on another site, it was odd, weird poetry etc. I responded because I’m curious and easy going. No harm, I can always block them later. His profile wasn’t great but just ok. Well we are now dating. He is very nice, found some common interests, can talk for hours together, he makes me happy and this might actually go somewhere. Had I been judgemental, I never would have met him. He is totally different in person. That’s why I keep saying Open Your Eyes, don’t judge a book before you’ve read the whole thing. This is very Interesting comments ! I do think sometimes People are too focused on small things and may miss out on a good Match. |
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Exactly! Thank you Toodygirl
I am proof of that. Relax your expectations and take a chance. |
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Small things? Maybe I got your point wrong. But I often notice details, nobody else does. And I sometimes put my focus on things, which seem odd to most people.
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Fri 12/07/18 12:27 PM
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Don't completely agree... - Judge them by a few words... words are how we express ourselves into the online world. If someone can't do that, they're better off not using the internet. There's plenty of info on HOW to make a good profile. Someone not doing that is lazy, not interested, doesn't care. Not the kind of person I'm looking for. I also invested time in it as it isn't something we've been raised to learn and know. Simply put: If you REALLY want something, you are willing to invest some time in it to do it right. - Chatting is also words. If someone cannot even come up with a decent profile, they likely sux at chatting too. - Someone having a shopping list says a lot about them. To be honest, I rarely come across it on a decent dating site. Someone who's a tad more intelligent and personally developed -which is what I'm looking for- wouldn't do that. It's mostly people who hold a grudge against their ex -and sometimes the entire other half of our species as well- who feel it is important to state that they don't want this, and if you do that!!! Be warned!! I only want that!, blablabla. I've NEVER seen that from a personally developed, well-rounded & confident, positive person. Disagree! I got a message on another site, it was odd, weird poetry etc. I responded because I’m curious and easy going. No harm, I can always block them later. His profile wasn’t great but just ok. Well we are now dating. He is very nice, found some common interests, can talk for hours together, he makes me happy and this might actually go somewhere. Had I been judgemental, I never would have met him. He is totally different in person. That’s why I keep saying Open Your Eyes, don’t judge a book before you’ve read the whole thing. I'm not sure if -for me- that changes what I wrote. First of all, we are different and as such have different needs in order to be happy. I also don't see it as judgement, you keep mentioning that, for me the whole online thing is more feeling. It is in real life as well, I am intuitive, but maybe even more so online as you have to kind of compensate with something for the lack of body language. Also, I'm not looking for someone who's 'very nice'. I'm looking for effing wonderful and great! Like I said, maybe what we are looking for and need in order to feel happy is different. Oh, also... the fact that he took the time to come up with poetry -even if odd & weird- does say that he made an effort... Not to argue, just my experiences and feelings are somewhat different. Nevertheless, I AM very happy for you that you've found someone! I wish you lots of luck & love together  
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"seeking marriage", guarantees i'll avoid contact with that profile. Sure! Alot of people wish they could be married again. Or, even married for the first time. While marriage, may be the endgame plan. "seeking marriage" among random strangers, kinda puts the horse before the cart. Aside from that, ^^^ i tend to grade profiles for originality, spelling, grammar, punctuation, use of paragraphs, syntax, and context. That mentality always baffles me, is the "looking for:" part of the profile not for the purpose of seeking out people who have the same endgame in mind? if someone says "just friends" most would assume that's all they want and if they seek more they know not to waste their time. Someone says "casual fling" they are also stating their "endgame" is it okay for people who are seeking every type of relationship except for marriage/longterm to state their "endgame"? It triggers the fear to lose their freedom. Almost every man has got that fear. So if you state that that is what you want in the end, most freak out and run for the hills. A smart woman does not put that in her profile, not even if that is what she wants or needs in order to be happy. Men need more time to get to a feeling of even wanting to entertain the thought of getting married (again). It is also the old and still valid thing that the man has to steer where the relationship is going, not the woman. Unless the man is feminine energy and the woman masculine energy. So like Rock says, it's the woman putting the horse before the cart while it is a man's 'job' to do that. Men almost always need more time for such things than a woman, even when he knows he wants to spend his life with her. If a woman allows this time and can allow things to simply unfold, a man can come to the decision himself. It happens quite regularly that a man who's said "I'm NEVER going to get married (again)!!" suddenly wants to marry his new woman. But I'm quite sure in those cases the woman did NOT push for that. The men you describe are not really relationship material if they view a relationship as "losing their freedom", problem is that most men who won't "head for the hills" if he see's that her end goal is marriage or long-term are often the same men who suffer from a [bold]chronically empty in-box.[/bold] Where do you think all the incel's come from? There is a saying among MGTOW's and MRA's aimed at those they view as flaky within the movement, it something like "he's 3 BJ's away from leaving the moment(my guess is it takes 3 cause the first 2 could have been flukes or dumb luck, right time right place,she had one too many, she caught her boyfriend cheating earlier that day, etc etc etc....)" truth be told that accounts for 90% of them. For many men they see "seeking marriage/long term" as meaning it will be less like ice skating uphill if that's his end goal also. If a woman says "casual dating, nothing serious" I will take them at their word as it will most likely be a waste of time and nothing will come of it and it will only end in tears. 
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Mon 12/10/18 12:05 PM
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I look at where the man is from , what, city, state. If he is close like one state over Or in my state I usually disregard them. Mainly because the rest of their profile has Nothing in common with what I desire in my man.
That man is just seeking any woman closer to Him. I'm Not looking for Just dating. Relationships or for compatible Couples, not just any Woman closest to You. |
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I get turned off when a guy who says, I'm looking for a mother for my children.
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If he's cropped his photo, previously clearly leaning into a woman, likely his ex. Often you even see a woman's hand on him.
If he can't be bothered to take a new photo... |
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The pic breaks the page view for me.
800x pxls is like the max. If you have to scroll sideways to view the thread, its broken, to me. |
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Headlines that state will not send money or ITune cards,
 Joking. LMAO  Yea the looking for marriage headline , naw Not even filling out the simple part of the profile, naw. Putting the "I am model" picture up, naw. Kids in picture, naw. not dating your children. You and only you in picture. Just my opinion. 
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