It seems no matter what app or dating site I use with little exception I'm seeing the same damn faces over and over, either people I've already dated, gone out with or messaged before and got a "thanks but no thanks" some of these women I saw their adds online consistently for years. POF and OKC seems to think they are possible matches because of shared interests And I would agree but sadly most of them did not.


As soon as I add my search filters BAM!!! the same 20-30 people pop up with maybe a 1 or 2 new ones every few months who moved here from somewhere else.



And its not like my search filters are all that strict I'm open to any race almost any age(15 years either direction but I list 20 just in case because I've seen much older women I find attractive and I would not rule out a woman in her early 20's though I would have to think hard on it.)


I pretty much only filter out women with kids(at home), obese and lives more than 15-20 miles(don't do long distance).

THIS is why I refuse to try any more pay sites..
I saw the same exact guys on Match, Zoosk, OurTime (aka Ye Olde Farts site), etc....as I saw on the free sites....so, why pay to join them?

I too have seemingly run out of guys in my area..(within a reasonable distance) insofar as the compatible ones who have things in common with me...
Then you add in the dead/ ancient profiles of people who haven't been on any site in months or *years* (probably)...

Then you add in the morons who are apparently on the sites JUST for sh**s & giggles..to f**k with people, be mean...and are not looking to date or meet anyone..
It's hard.....

(hence, my post the other day about trying to comminicate with someone a distance away...expand my search area)

You are not alone, darlin'.... {{hug}}

Lol. Welcome to the world of online date sites. The way i see it is the ladies probably left those sites before me and came here. But what most people seem to forget is not all those looking for someone is even useing the dateing sites.

Kinda why i keep 3 free sites activeish. And w paid site i'vd been on a very long time.

I see new men all the time, that's on Any datesites I am on.

I only have a Select few Sites I'm interested in.

So far I have had some Nice dates, but All Long distance meets. I don't mind that.
They traveled here.

Love it.

Yep and unfortunately every time I lift my distance filter I get messaged by women who live waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy out in the sticks. read there profiles and they actually are looking for what I'm looking for, its depressing where as in my local area anytime I run across a profile where a woman seems compatible(same hobbies and interests), and I find them attractive I get down to what they seek and its always "just friends" or "casual dating nothing serious" so I ad to my filters only those seeking "long term" or "marriage" And then all I see is single mothers and or morbidly obese women and the few women I would find attractive haven't logged in since 2012 or something.

yep, common problem for those of us who don't live in a major metro area. 80 miles to the big city and I find that a little further than I'm willing to go. Good luck

I live in a big city, and there's rarely anybody online here from there

and the sad thing is I live in the 15th largest city in the country, and our sister city is the 9th largest city. but these are texas cities so they are spread out. not much population density.

I live not far from Nashville TN...not a small city...and the pickin's are slim for what *I* am interested in...

Bluegrass may have touched on another part of the problem. There are common beliefs and attitudes associated with certain geographical areas. When we are looking for someone who doesn't fit that local perspective, the pickings are slim to none. A country girl in New York probably is going to have a hard time finding an actual cowboy!!

There are approximately 3,500,000,000 women on
the planet.


That's a whole lotta pissin' off, before I run out of prospects.

Most of the lakes are frozen over, so I'm not sure there's any fish left.. maybe deep down under the ice.

I'll need one of those ice fishing tools to find out


Lol, I believe we generally find what it is we're focusing on. Ever notice when you buy a new car. Before that you didn't see very many on the road, then suddenly you see a ton of them.

I think it works the same way with people. A while ago I paid attention more so to the idea that there wasn't anyone out there... and got just that.

I'm choosing to start focusing on who's out there rather than who isn't. I'll let you know how it works out

You may have a point there, I'm a diehard socialist who lives in a red state (though my city is blue).

I'm an atheist in Texas, a state where you can't walk 8 blocks without passing a church and in lower income area's(my dating pool cause Texas women tend to be materialistic and a guy has to be doin atleast a little bit better than they are to be viewed as worth dating)there is a church every 400 yards or so.

Any dating site is merely a tool.
If you use it as a tool, it can be effective.

In these forums I read about how dissappointed people seem to be becuse it doesn't meet their expectations.
Finding someone is a quest without landmarks to guide you.

Its my experience that potential matches get ignored while looking for that 'perfect match'.
It doesn't work that way.

A lot of people tend to think that 'perfect match' is going to stand and shout for "your" attention.
It doesn't work that way.

Ya gotta do some of the work by reading profiles and taking notice of those potential matches that are often ignored.
Ya gotta write a good profile and acknowledge the fact that if nobody but scammers are contacting you, there's something wrong with how you are presenting yourself to the pool.

Maybe this great girl for you lives 25 miles away...
15-20 miles is not a whole lot. More like fishing in a puddle after 5 mins rain.
I don't prefer LDR either, but I do allow for a larger circle. Especially since I'm not so keen on the fish in my area's pond.
The next larger town in this area is 42 kms away (26m). If I don't even allow for people from that town... You might as well stop fishing.

I think you should be a bit more specific about what you want. Make the perimeters more to what you really want (age). Narrow it down a bit more. Might deliver more result, even though you'd think the opposite.

Topic: Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?

I don't consider a woman to be a fish.

Then again, perhaps that is why so many men on this site have profile images of them holding fish.

Problem is distance is important to me for many reasons because of the crappy traffic in my area 20 miles at certain times can take hours, thats less time we can spend together unless we only spend weekends but to me that feels like mere FWB.

also public transportation sucks around here(buses don't go to the burbs), even though I have a car I always factor stuff like that in just in case one day my car dies how we will see each other until I save up to either get it fixed or buy a new one.

I have the exact same problem: old car running on its last legs -my sweet baby blue is 18 yrs old-, as good as no public transport, plus public transport takes forever and is expensive.
Closest train station is 21 miles from me. Bus service is bad, very remote area. In between villages there's not even regular buses, but 'call buses': you have to phone at least an hour in advance to make reservations. Sometimes they don't turn up, or too soon or too late so you miss your next connection or are standing there like a lemon.
In spite of possible transport problems, I keep my perimeter a tad larger, just for the sole reason there's barely compatible 'fish' in this area, not compatible for several reasons.
Traffic jams in my small country are insane, but... after rush hour (19.00 approx) it goes back to normal.

In a way it's thinking solutions, especially in situations like this otherwise you just go round in circles and don't get anywhere except for Frustration Ville.
Also think about the future. What I mean is, I want a relationship where we live together so distance would only be a temp problem.
Also bear in mind that if you meet a great girl from a bit further away, maybe you or she could move so the problem is solved.
Trust in the Divine! A bit of faith always goes a long way. It's just that maybe it wants to deliver you this great woman, but they can't now cos you've set your goggles to 15-20 miles.
That's the risk of 'narrowing down'. It is good to not be open to everything, to narrow down a tad, but don't go too far.

I started talking to this man a few days ago who does live in my province, but is NOT from this province! He lives 42 km from me, I believe 26 miles...
Any closer than that (your 15-20m ) would limit me to this island/peninsula. Sod that! Then all hope would be lost, haha. In all them 15 years I've been living here I've seen 2 good-looking men. One is 12 years younger, the other is his happily married dad, hahaha. The rest, well... let's say I don't like the "farmer John" type of man, grin.
That's why I go for a wider perimeter, to get off this island and ppl from this area.
If I hadn't, I wouldn't have found love 2 years ago, that unfortunately didn't last, and wouldn't be talking to this guy now.
Not saying it is easy, I know it isn't, been in this situation for 6 years. But remaining positive does help!

mortalez and SparklingCrystal, I can see your issue with distance. It's even more of a risk when both parties own their own homes, are happy in them, and hesitant to sell it to move for a relationship that might not work out in time. Could be a tough decision.

Topic: Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?

Perhaps the fish are plentiful but one is trying to lure them with too small of a worm.