I have heard several women complain that the men only sent them short messages, often filled with sexual innuendos.

Ladies, all I am saying is give us a fair chance.

How can we send something meaningful when you have not provided any info about yourself?

I have seen so many female profiles that merely say "Hi" Nothing else filled out.

If you want something meaningful you have to give us something to go on.

What is your priority? To find a mate or to judge the male population?

Just sayin

Here's another question for women...

Is it better to peel the apples before or after you core them?
and...
Who wants some homemade apple crisp?

We can start by having a bit of courtesy and present ourselves in a decent manner.
We don't need to have all the information about a woman before we contact her. The lack of information can be conversation starters, such as questions about herself, how she feels about such or such subjects, where she likes to go on vacation...

I agree with you Totto. But it would be nice to have something to go on. A little info can also be a good way to start a conversation.

I understand your point.
Consider this:
When I meet a stranger in the street or on the terrace of a café or at the store or library, I know nothing about that person but how she looks, just like on a profile. Yet I can go over to her table and politely ask if I can sit and talk. If she says no, maybe she wants to enjoy her time alone, maybe she is waiting for a friend or maybe she doesn't feel good just at the moment or maybe she doesn't like the way I look, no big deal.
If she says yes, I sit and start talking to her and only then I get to know her better.

Also, many people do not like to say so much about themselves online because the internet is no longer safe.

Here's another female response.

It might be that she is just sick and tired of filling out her profile just to have men contact her and ignore what she writes because they make assumptions about her anyway, no matter the amount of 'subject matter' she volunteers.

Then there's the assumption that because she has a profile on a free dating site that she is actively seeking someone on this site.

Then there is the tendency for 'some men' to think they should decide how and to what extent all women should act because women are property not people. Something that must be commanded and perform to men's expectations.

Then there is the fact that some women (and men) are not interested in filling out their profiles because they; don't know what to write, don't feel its important and a gazillion other reasons all unique to that specific woman or man.

There's also the experience of getting rude, crude and offensive responses from men to the point it is tiresome.

Personally, I like an empty profile, it allows me the ability to reduce the number of potential matches like separating the grain from the chaff.
Profile is empty, good, I'll move on to the one that isn't.

Also NEVER tell a woman you do not know in person or on line to "smile"..
You don't know what kind of day she is having and, anyway..she doesn't owe you or anyone a smile...
You wouldn't tell a guy you don't know (or even one you do know) to "smile, man...it make your face light up"...
It sounds just as ridiculous to us women.

Now, back to what you said Totto..

What you said is true, but that is *also* what the benefit of dating sites is...that the person has a profile that tells a bit about them, their interests, and so forth..so you'd know if you two have anything in common, so you don't waste you time chatting up someone who doesn't, and would have no interest in talking to you.

I understand what you are saying, "people do not like to say so much about themselves online because the internet is no longer safe."..
But I see people post pictures of themselves, their kids, their cars..some people even have pictures wearing their work uniform/ ID.
(Some morons even put their phone number or email or first and last name *in* their profile..

Just be cautious, use common sense....but that doesn't preclude one from telling some about them.

Above all..be courteous, polite...when sending an intital message.
If she's got nothing on her profile..I can't imagine what you *could* say as a conversation starter other than "Hey", which isn't a great way to start...
Maybe ask where the picture was taken?

If she says she's not interested, or no thanks..be decent enough to say "OK", and move on..
Being rude, pushy...or telling her off...that's just immature, and shows lack of character and maturity.

An empty profile says to me that the person is not interested in getting acquainted with someone new and will never agree to actually meeting. They are not worth my time to try and solicit their basic information.

Two things, Tom4Uhere..

What you say is true....
What messages I *do* get...the guy hasn't read any of my profile..and can't be bothered to...either because he is lazy, or my prefernces/ what I want don't matter to him..
Either way, like you,...it's a way to weed out the serious, decent men from the jerks..

Second...I disagree with you comment..
IF someone is on a ~dating~ site..Match, POF, OkCupid, etc..(not a quasi-social/ dating site)...then I naturally make the assupmtion they are looking to meet someone..

Because if they just wanted online chat buddies..there are hundreds of sites JUST for that.

After you have written hundreds of messages without receiving any responses, why bother writing a decent message? If I send a very short message and you respond in some way, then I'll bother starting a decent conversation.

And I *totally* get that..
If I see a guys's profile that i am interested in..I craft a interesting message *specifically* about something i read, and something we have in common..

98% of the time.....crickets..
Not even the courtesy to *acknowledge* they got it by simply saying "Thanks, but not interested"..

So I too much of the time just default to a "hey"...because I figure if they are in any way intereted, they'll write back, and if not, I didn't waste my time typing a interesting message out to them.
So..I dunno...

If someone takes the time to wrote me a obviously carefully written message, and I read his profile and find we've got some hard dealbreakers..I will still wrote him back and politely say why it wouldn't work, and, peace..

Hell..even if it is just a "hey" i will still acknowledge it.

Do i have to do this?
No.
What does it cost me?
Nothing..and I feel I am a better human for at least acknowledging them...something very few others do.

Now, if they can't take no for an answer...or get rude ("yer ugly anyway ya picky b***h good luck finding someone")...then there's the block button..
I like it when the trash takes *itself* out...

Okay

I have about three accounts on different dating sites where I post a picture but don't fill out the profile.
I don't search those sites either.
My profile is a placeholder just in case I want to use that site in the future.
It allows me to get message notifications from that site plus it allows me to search when I decide I want to search that site.
To "assume" I am actively using that site to find a match is nothing more than an assumption on your part and has no significance or validity to my actual reasons for having a profile there.

My account got hacked on POF. I can no longer log in to my profile.
When it happened, I created a 'blank' profile to contact the site but got no response. That blank profile is still there and it can stay there till the end of the internet, I don't care about it.

There are a lot of people that make assumptions about others.
It can become a problem when someone makes an assumption (due to lack of information) and persists that their assumption is accurate so never looks for the real information.
Its a twisted trend in our society lately that once an assumpton is made, it becomes fact to the ones assuming.
Everyone is so sure they're right their assumptions are considered right. Sometimes, even when presented with all the facts, they cling to their assumptions no matter what.

I have had several conversations with men . They don't seem to have even read My profile. I have liked a few conversations.

These Men are Not involved in the Forums. They are Online to pick up Women. But I am seeking Relationship not pickups.

the length of a man's conversation is directly proportional to his ....

If someone is hellbent on contacting a person that only has a picture posted and you're looking for an 'ice breaker' topic, look at the picture and compose a message about something you can 'view' in the picture.

Example:
I noticed in your picture that you have a shelf on the wall that has Avon collectors bottles. Do you like Avon and collect the different bottles?
I collect **insert bottle type** bottles myself. I have an early 1905 collection of medicine bottles.

Or

I notice you are really happy in your picture at the amusement park, which park was that? You look as if you were really having a great day.
What was your favorite ride?
My favorite ride at 6 Flags is the Superman Drop.
I like 6 Flags because they also have water slides.
Do you like water slides?

Or

I noticed you picture and that deep blue top really makes your eyes mesmerizing. I was so fascinated by it I just had to write and say hello. My name is Tom and I am interested in talking with you.

If you are really paying attention, the picture does give you conversation starters.

You have to remember a few things...

1) Those "empty" profiles may be produced by a scammer or a bot.

2) Some "empty" profiles are generated by people simply checking out the site to see if it's worth the effort before writing a full profile.

3) And yet some more are because the user is no longer active. Before going inactive, they deleted all info in their profile.


So it's not fair to judge or criticize all the women members based on the topic presented.

There are plenty of spammers on here. Some of them are trying to drum up business for porn sites and webcam sites. That's where a lot of this sexual stuff is coming from.

And then there are the players...

The vast majority of women on the forums don't play those games. The forums were intended to be a place where members could actually get to know each other **before** exchanging chats and emails. So if you want more to go on, you follow the forums instead of just relying on the profile.

Of course, there aren't as many active posters in the forums as there used to be. Which is sad. This site used to be better.

I agree with your reply. I have nothing to add to it. It's all very sensible.

The forums are only as good as the people participating in them.
They are as active as the members are.
If you have to be entertained, without the ability to
entertain..well, you see.

The dating scene is a ritual.
Men send out 100 inquiries.
Women recognize them as shots in the dark and do not reply.
So men send out more emails.
Women reply even less.

Time to complain.