Sometimes the naivety of people has me dumbfounded.
I've seen so many on here proclaiming that colour of skin, race, religion, nationality, distance and so on are no obstacle to love.

That's nice to believe when you're 16, dreaming of princes and princesses. Reality is different.
That's why the statement "If you love someone, set them free" is so profound.

You can love each other deeply, yet find out you cannot make it work. Then loving means = letting them go.
You may love someone with all your heart -and they you- but if their religion/beliefs/norms & values/cultural heritage/etc doesn't match yours, it can make staying together in a committed relationship impossible.
And it just happens to be that norms & values, cultural heritage, religion, beliefs, have a helluva lot to do with race/colour of skin/nationality.

You cannot work out everything. Love is not a magickal energy that makes such irreconcilable difference disappear.
I think many forget that 'love' means first and foremost loving yourself. And if being in a relationship with someone means that you have to compromise that, because of their background/norms & values/race/religion/etc, you simply have to end that relationship.

Isn't it about time people start to realize that choosing for your own race/skin colour/religion/culture & nationality/etc. is OKAY?
This anti-racism and discrimination BS is really getting out of hand at times.
For instance, if I reject someone from another race or colour of skin, it has nothing to do me rejecting that race or colour of skin.
It's about knowing, realizing, having the wisdom that someone from that cultural background is NOT compatible with me.

Love does NOT conquer all. Unless you're (still) living in a fantasy world.

Hello Crystal i agree with you. It is not bad to have preferences as we all have reasons behind it. We dont need to justify it with anyone specially when they will not be affected by the choices that we do have to make for ourselves. But sometimes i think : does love really mean letting go ? When things dont work out we just give up sometimes too easily but what’s important is we learn, we move on and continue our journey

Sometimes the road less traveled usually offers the best scenery.

Thank you, David, I like applause
I'm gonna miss out on this year's applause on stage as I decided to pull back from the annual King's Day gig, so getting some here does help, haha.

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Nicely said CrystalF

Love is a 'Feeling'.
Feelings are completely personal.
A lot of people think love is an object that is to be attained.
Love is experienced within while considering others.
You can't force love.
You can't make someone feel love for you.
They have to feel it themselves.
Sometimes you meet someone that feels love for you as much as you feel love for them.
Love isn't bankable.
You can't save your love and spend it when you think you need it.

Love is felt in the moment.
You can remember what love felt like, miss it when its not there but remembering love is not the same thing.
You can't project love to the future.
Lots of people try to but it doesn't work and when it doesn't, a lot of people think there is something wrong with love or their ability to love.

Love is as unique as the people that experience it.
There is no standard love that fits every person, situation or moment.
Its a fluidic state of being.
People try to put it in a box. They set boundaries and limits then struggle to keep it within those preset conditions.
Love isn't that way. It escapes and changes.

You can feel love for someone that is bad for you.
You might not feel love for someone that is good for you.
Someone that is bad for you can feel love for you.
Someone that is good for you might not feel love for you.

The reason people think its strange and wacky is because they don't understand that love is fluidic and personal.
We are raised to glorify love.
We witness others that are in love and think "I want that, it looks really good" so we try to force ourselves to have what we wish for.
Love isn't a prize, a goal, a win. It is a feeling, it resides inside and changes as time passes. Just like all your other feelings.

Love doesn't lead to, cause or stop other feelings.
Its absence is not filled. Its presence doesn't push out other feelings.
It blends with other feelings.
You can feel love and sadness, anger and joy all at the same time to different degrees like shades in color or a symphony of sounds.
Sometimes love is bright, sometimes it is dull.
It changes it hue moment to moment, person to person.
A grand roller-coaster of life. Hills, valleys, twists, loops, turns, slow and fast and even has flat spots.

People on sites like this tend to make love more complicated than it is.
Its very simple.
Experience your feelings while they are happening and allow them to come and go naturally.
If you have reservations about someone, act according to your own desires.
If skin color, religious preference, power, control, looks, personality, heritage, location or anything else is in the way. Heed your preferences and stop looking there. Look where you will find what you desire. Stop trying to change others to fit your preferences.

Love does NOT conquer all. Unless you're (still) living in a fantasy world.



When it comes to a committed Relationship, most people have selective choice, and values for their potential mate. I do!
Don't care what others think I should do!

As much as I agree with the premise of your opinion I'm not sure how a relationship could get to the point of love given the above statement.

If you meet someone who does not share your values,beliefs and what you consider normal, most likely you would not be attracted or interested in a relationship to begin with.

As an example, How would a all inclusive,loving and peaceful person come to LOVE a violent, bigoted racist in the first place, never mind make it impossible to live with?

I know that is an extreme example, but typically if you find someones views, beliefs and norms diametrically opposed to yours, you may consider them a friend but I would think you would not spend the time around such a person as to "fall in love" with them...just saying

Good points and I agree!!!!

Yep, indeed. But there are also less extreme yet strong things that you will find out later on or that you underestimate in the very first beginning, which often happens because we are in love.

Simple example: When I got together with my ex way back when, I didn't think us coming from a different country would matter much as we are both from a Western European country. It wasn't until much much later that I began to realize just how much of a gap this left between us that could never be bridged.

I think in most cases with race/cultural/religious/etc. differences the chit often doesn't really hit the fan until there are going to be kids involved. Sometimes we are willing to compromise for ourselves, but not when it comes to our offspring.
This can mean that you're 5+ years into a (reasonably) happy relationship before you learn that race/culture/religion/etc. IS a huge problem after all.

You make a very good case. It shows the importance of a couple that comes from different ethnic or cultural backgrounds to discuss issues of where and how they will raise offspring should they marry.
Sometimes you are not just marrying your spouse but their family too and that can be a huge obstacle!

Exactly!!!!

Just another thought on this...every relationship is made of give n takes as you say. Willing to compromise with yourself but not offspring.But if you both truly love each other, there are always solutions.
Let's say one is a devote Catholic the other devote Jew. Instead of insisting the offspring be either one. You could have kids go to the Synagogue on Saturdays and to Church on Sundays so they learn the religion(or culture) of both parents, not just one.

This will usually only work if it is between the spouses and not the outside families getting involved.

You sure sound like a family counselor! Or a writer!!

Maybe an amateur at both??

If love is strong enough, it breaks every boundary

No, it does not. Unless you include "letting go/setting each other free" in there.
I've been there myself a few times with someone from another race, culture, religion, so different norms and values and belief systems and so on and so forth.
It would've required me -not them- to give up everything. My normal Western life-style, convert to his religion, even change names as was customary.
Sometimes the sacrifices are too great and you have to choose love, love of yourself. One thing I've learnt throughout life, having lived among several other cultures for a while and having been in relationship for 10 years with someone from another country, is that you can never deny your own roots. It's part of who you are. You may think you can let go of it for love, but it comes back at some point to bite you in the @$$.

I'm not saying it can never work out, I am saying many people are very naive when it comes to these things, and have no idea. I had this discussion with a friend when she got involved with an Englishman like I had at the time. She didn't really believe me. 1 year later she messaged me to say "You were right!"
Most people just haven't a clue what's involved.
Love is a powerful energy but it doesn't conquer all relationship obstacles.

Not to be preaching to anyone, and a Saint I ain’t, but God’s Holy Word says that true love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures ALL things! I hope to find that kind of love someday!

*I respect everybody’s opinion on this subject, which we are all entitled to

Your right CF,Love can conquer a lot of things but not all. As said before, it is a give and take partnership but if one partner is not willing to give in a little then the other can not be expected to give up everything they are and stand for to make it work.

If no one gives in then it won’t work .., giving in and working things out that nobody feels unloved but understood. Giving up only when everything that could be done has been done. We should learn from our mistakes but not view everyone and every situation as the same. Its just weird when sometimes we keep an open mind but still end up in same situations we dont want to be in. My Filipino ex was a womaniser . I had another Filipino boyfriend that taught me not all Filipinos were like him but still we separated ways. I joined mingle to get out of my safety box in a not so unsafe way. Preferences do change as we all change ourselves