A safety box? Is that how it's called? So I was sitting in one of them for three years, joined Mingle, and somebody opened the box, I was sitting in

I think its more fittingly called the comfort zone where we feel safe and not threatened. I just invented safety box for me going back to crystals topic i think she is right, loving should never feel forced and just happy and easy and light even with obstacles along the way.

If loving feels too hard and frustrating then one should re think the whole relationship and whats best for both... sometimes love just really aint enough.

Boundaries and red lines are there to be tested, just ask Russia and north Korea
Hello Holland

I guess that's where the phrase came from: 'Like stays with Like'..

Love does not conquer all..

Finding a partner, only you know what you like, regardless of any inter species variability. Hairy, blonde, tall, squat, muscle bound, petite . . . . .
We must discriminate because it is in the nature of sexual reproduction for particular traits to be favoured or avoided.
Discrimination to keep a trait in the genetic lineage is a valid reason.
As a single male I have seen attractive women in all races, and unattractive ones too. They all discriminate against me.
Modern discrimination can also involve fashions, and peer group pressure.
Allowing pockets of 'racial purity' and clines of mixed races gives the population strength in overall variability, against pandemics.
I like vanilla, and coffee, and chocolate, and cumin, and chili, and if any one of the different flavours loved me, only the compatability and attraction matters, not the colour of the fruit.
Looking for a pizza with chorizo and chili; or would like a spicy rice dish; or roast beef and veg; but not interested in fermented fish, brussels sprouts, or anything with tarragon.

I think a lot of it has to do with reproduction and passing traits when you are younger. I also think that after a certain age reproduction is no longer the driving force. Some of us have already reproduced and raised their families. Some of us can no longer reproduce due to aging out of fertility.

I think that when reproduction is no longer the driving force it opens up avenues never before considered when seeking a relationship.
I also believe when someone spends a significant amount of time alone it lessens the relationship restrictions of youth.
Age usually brings wisdom.
I think the older somebody is allows them the wisdom to understand that most trends and competitions in relationships are not that important to happiness and contentment.
I find myself more tolerant of things that used to repulse me.
The wisdom I have gained from life changed me.

Gooood evening England!!
(Are we doing a dress-rehearsal for the Eurovision songcontest? )
And nice to see you again.

A very sexual based view.
People check certain aspects of another in order to fathom their fertility and ability to create healthy offspring with them. Not sure how race/colour would fit into that. Quite sure someone did research on it.

In any case, I can also feel attracted to different colours and races. But that still doesn't mean that a long-term healthy relationship with them is possible or feasible.
Of course you want to feel attracted to your partner, but there's such a thing as sexual attraction with no deeper desire like wanting a relationship with them (lust) and attraction that is both physical as well as love-based, the kind of thing you want and need for a lasting relationship.
And from what I gather from your reply, you're talking lust.

Very true for both genders when reproduction is the driving force for the relationship. There is a lust to mate with somone that will give you the offspring you desire. Certain traits are focused on during the selecting process to assure the strongest, healthiest progeny. Lust by gene selecton happens naturally in all species.


I'm thinking it has to do with how human beings place values on social acceptance. In reality there are very few pristine geen pools still surviving. We are all a mix of something. Its the social acceptance that causes a distinct preference during reproduction. There are some medical obstacles but not as many as you would think.

After the need or ability to reproduce fades, selection options for relationships opens greatly. Society is starting to accept mixed couples.
It will take longer for individuals to accept mixed reproduction partners but it will happen.

Love has many aspects indeed. We need to make compromises, we have to be supportive and we should not force our partner to give up everything just for the sake of the relationship. So if love does not survive bad days, there ain't no relationship.