I recently saw video of a beating on a subway. The whole thing lasted under 20 seconds, but comments were immediately posted about why other people weren't jumping in to help.

Now, I have been the subject of an attempt on MY OWN LIFE, and I did not act very quickly out of pure shock in the moment. That was with MY OWN LIFE. Fortunately someone else in a position to move me out of the way of danger did so. But I often think of how complicated the idea of 'bravery' is. When we sometimes cannot act to defend OURSELVES, why do we look upon others who likely are not sure what to do to defend us?

This was a big man and he was pummeling a smaller guy, and it happened very quickly. There is no telling what others thought they could do or were going to try to do if the incident hadn't been over so quickly. But the world is crazy we do not know what other people are 'packing' and its hard to outrun a bullet. I feel like if one is unsure if they would really be able to prevent harm (to the other OR themselves) the best option is to call upon those trained and with resources to do so(police). What do you think about citizens getting involved in potentially life threatening situations themselves?

My view is someone is 'brave' if they take the risk, but choosing to take some other less life threatening action instead, does not make them bad or a coward.


Kind of like how I view men hitting women BACK. I think men who dont show heightened integrity. But because humans fight or flight has no natural gender flag. A human even if he is a MAN who hits back another human even if she is a WOMAN is not a monster. Now anyone going above and beyond that is another story.

I was mugged on the street and a man standing by me chased the guy. My life was in no danger, as the thief grabbed my purse and ran the other way. But the man who chased him was putting himself in danger. I screamed at him to let him go but he chased him for quite a way before coming back.

I might feel differently if the thief were a physical threat, but I didn’t want that man to put himself at risk for me. The loss of the purse was unfortunate, but the hero stepping in scared the hell out of me!

For some people, stepping in to protect may just be an instinct that would be hard to control. I don’t know if I have it in me. It’s never been tested before.

A short legal point to consider: If you attempt to thwart, for example a convenience store holdup using your [legally-owned] gun, and an innocent person is hurt by your bullet or even its ricochet, you can be sued, as you are not a police officer and not required to use lethal force to protect. How the jury would rule, however, is another story.

yes, good intentions often can have costly legal liability.

Random street type assaults can happen astonishingly fast, and are often done, before the victim or anyone nearby even realizes what has happened.
People who concealed carry may have the feeling that they are safe, or that they may become a hero by preventing some random act of violence are only fooling themselves. By the time you comprehend what's going on and dig that Glock out of your pocket holster, you may have been already stabbed to death or beaten into unconsciousness.

Yes, so many things go through your mind (including legal repercussions and liability).

The last physical altercation I got into (many years ago, in a lifetime of very few) was interjecting in a public domestic violence situation. Long story short, the "victim" jumped om my back when I started to get the better of her abuser when I was just trying to diffuse a situation. It seemed at the time some weird Stockholm Syndrome Twilight Zone.

That of course is a very condensed, edited, from MY perspective rendition of a complicated situation. I have replayed my involvement and what I could have said or done differently.

Do I fault anyone's hesitation? No. Do I question eagerness to get involved in drama? Yes. Given the situation to "do the right thing" will my judgement be quick, decisive, and correct? I hope so.

You just never know what will ACTUALLY happen when caught in situations you have never imagined yourself being in.

I have mentioned two times I was assaulted. In one case, in the park, because of the surroundings, I fought and screamed and cursed like hell which eventually brought help and scared him away.

But in the other, I was locked in their apartment, in a city where I knew noone and did not know who they might know, and I could not get out from under his weight, along with his being clear on his intentions and that I would not be strong enough to get past him or get from under him.

IN those two situations, the odds, somewhere in my subconscious dictated how much better or worse certain reactions may make things. In the park, I knew someone could hear me and the guy was a coward who wasnt used to a woman fighting. But in that apartment, in the city where I knew no one, the odds my fighting would save me or help me were not as high as they were it would make it much much worse for me.

And then of course, the time with a female trying to run me over in her car to get back at the male I was involved with ... pure panic and shock rendered me pretty useless and frozen.

So, the point is, we never truly know how much of a hero we could be, even to save ourselves. so I dont know why we disparage others so quickly for finding themselves in situations where they dont rush to be 'the hero' for others.

So much to think about Ms. even as you mentioned about being one's own self advocate. (Not to diminish park and car situations) but the isolated in apartment/new city scenario sounds particularly horrifying!

It saddens me to think of the world as a dangerous place and do not like to operate in fear. Shall I say something trite about forethought and attempted preparation now while trying to maintain a positive outlook?